Should I Be Telling You This?

...Thoughts on Walking the Fine Political-Personal-Professional Line Online

On January 21, 2017, people all over the world took to the streets to express their feelings about the new leadership in the United States. I was one of those marchers. As things were winding down, I found myself standing next to a woman who was so full of enthusiasm, she was talking to everyone around her. During our brief conversation, she pulled out her phone and showed me this image:

I laughed and took a photo of her phone so I could share it on my personal Facebook profile. (And she had no idea I work with introverts, so the share was especially amusing to me.) After some consideration, I decided to share it on my Facebook Page as well. In the post, I included the disclaimer that while I recognized there was a wide range of views page-followers held, this was more about a universal introvert joke, apart from its context. It received more than 1,200 likes and close to 500 shares. I had a net loss of about 50 followers over a 24-hour period. Only one commenter that I remember said "Oh, this is a political page? Unfollowing!" I especially appreciated one follower who said "That's funny! I'm a Trump supporter...and I find this very funny. Thanks for the share! Haha!"

It was a definite risk to share that image, even with a carefully worded disclaimer. In the end, I decided that its humor and what it said about introverts was more compelling and share-worthy than its context. I'd built up almost seven years of trust with my audience, which also emboldened me a bit. I figured the vast majority would assume best intent, which they did. And that was fortunate.

It's a tricky dance: social media is so full of conflict and high emotion, Sturm und Drang. Do you feel torn between speaking out boldly and keeping your thoughts to yourself lest you blow something up? We've probably all had those moments of tension recently, especially if we're business owners, or we mix the personal and professional on social media, as many of us do.

The Plot Thickens

The decision to post a funny image seemed lightweight compared to another post that popped up a few weeks later. A Facebook friend posted that no matter if you were a business, a big brand, or a city, “…right now, neutrality and keeping your head low is going to harm you. Grow a spine.”

When I first read her words, my first reaction was to the judgment and shaming nature of her message. All of the "yes!" responses she received made me wonder if my search for the gray areas of the issue was in vain.

So I carefully weighed my response. And it turns out, “It depends” wasn’t the right answer.

What followed was a thoughtful dialogue about what it means to speak out on political issues when you’re a business owner. And it prompted me to reflect more deeply on this question of how we each decide when (if ever) to bring our politics, religion, or other personal value sets into our business message.

There's no getting around it: this is a challenging time to know what's okay to say and where the boundaries are. Some people believe brands and businesses need to be outspoken (explicit, not just implicit) about their views, and I agree to some extent. (For a deeper look at this issue, read this excellent Washington Post article, "The cost of silence: Why more CEOs are speaking out in the Trump era." It focuses on large, multi-million dollar corporations; my focus here is on the solopreneur and small business owner.)

I believe they need, at the very least, to be outspoken on their values, which indirectly serve as a reflection of their views. I don't believe anyone should feel pressured to make direct political statements through their business. Walk your talk, absolutely!, but don't feel obligated to talk your talk, unless it's integral to your business or the expectation of your audience. Maybe you see a need to put a stake in the ground because you feel a responsibility to your peers, employees, industry, or customers... in that case, talk, talk, talk!

Yet for many of us, the risks are greater than losing a few followers or potential customers. We risk alienating people that we'd otherwise welcome and distracting from our core message.

Consider this from a recent piece in The New York Times:

Mrs. O’Connell feels hopeless. She has deleted all her news feeds on Facebook and she tries to watch less TV. But politics keeps seeping in.

“I love Meryl Streep, but you know, she robbed me of that wonderful feeling when I go to the movies to be entertained,” she said. “I told my husband, I said, ‘Ed, we have to be a little more flexible, or we’re going to run out of movies!’ ”

How many of us have difficulty watching Tom Cruise or Mel Gibson, now that we know a bit too much about their personal views? Or maybe you agree with Mrs. O'Connell, and Meryl Streep is now forever ruined for you?

Brands and small businesses have a similar challenge: sharing our privately held beliefs can attract people to us, or it can drive them away because it's a distraction. Those beliefs might have nothing to do with our business, yet they become intrinsically linked in the minds of the customer, for better or for worse.

I intentionally choose to remain politically neutral on my social media business pages. Where I stand on specific issues is not core to why people follow me or work with me. They don't come to hear my private views; they come to learn how to improve their personal and professional lives.

As a small business owner, I can't take advantage of my business platform built on one brand promise to start using it as a personal bully pulpit.

Finding the Both/And

There are a wide range of ways to express your views and values beyond social media and direct statements. Just because you don't come out of the political closet doesn't mean you're staying silent, not living your values, or contributing to solutions. There’s plenty of space to express your values through your mission statement, offerings, relationships, and content.

When it comes to deciding what to share of our personal views, it’s important to look at both our responsibility to our values and to our audience. There’s always an opportunity for a both/and: I believe it's possible to give voice to your values while also honoring the implicit or explicit contract you have with your audience.

If your contract includes speaking out on the issues in a direct manner, go for it! But if that contract is based on other things, there’s more to discern.

For instance, one of my core values and agreements is that I create safe, judgement-free zones. I risk violating that if I inject my political views into public discussion. If I decide to share, I must examine: what’s my motivation? How does it serve my audience? And what’s the most appropriate platform that still provides a safe space (hint: social media probably isn’t it!)? 

Here’s the both/and option: I can stand up for my values and honor my brand promise. I can donate a portion of my profits to a specific charity. I might do pro bono coaching for a certain population that I care about. I can decide to create separate social media accounts to serve as an outlet for expressing my private views. Whether I choose to broadcast those activities is up to me.

The bottom line is that you should never feel shamed or pressured into speaking out on social media, personally or professionally. Whether you disclose your views is totally up to you. How or when you disclose them is up to you. How you choose to act on your values and convictions is up to you.

Yes, staying silent can be a dangerous act. It's also dangerous to judge and shame others for how and where they choose to speak up.

As I contemplate if and what to share, I use a set of questions to guide me. I offer these in the spirit of supporting you in making similar discernments.

What to consider when confronted with a choice: "Do I say something?"

1. Does it reflect or reinforce my brand promise?
2. Is it necessary to clarify my values?
3. Does it serve my audience (which can include employees, peers, customers, etc) and their needs?
4. Does it honor the trust they have placed in me?

If you can answer “yes” to at least one of these questions, it’s probably appropriate to share. And if you answer “no” to any of them, it doesn't necessarily mean you stay silent. You just share with the full knowledge that you are putting that stake in the ground and are ready to have an open dialogue with those who agree and disagree. The goal is to do it intentionally (moving beyond knee-jerk reactions and high emotions), with clear and transparent motives, and with the long game in mind.

A Work-in-Progress

It's been years that I've been reflecting on this topic, but it's only been in the past few months that hypothetical musings have become real-time dilemmas. My feelings have shifted during that time in response to conversations and reading on the topic. My initial hard line in the sand ("keep politics out of it!") has softened a bit. I continue to search for those nuanced shades of gray, those responses that keep me in a balanced, open, and curious space that honors both/and possibilities.

So I invite you to do the same: know your values, reflect on how they intersect with your business, examine your motives for what you share and don't share, and act in accordance to what's in integrity for you. External pressure might serve as a catalyst; in the end, lead with your personal truth.

PS: I learned through getting curious that the original post from my Facebook friend—the one that demanded neutral people "grow a spine"—wasn’t intended to be as judgmental as it sounded. She was speaking directly to her industry (real estate) and was motivated by a specific issue (sanctuary cities). But by making the statement all-encompassing and judgmental in tone, her core point was lost. Take special care when you share: try on your words through the lens of difference perspectives. Biases and emotions taint interpretation. Consider the point you want to make, and be as clear and direct as possible.

What do you think? How do you decide what's appropriate to share? Have you ever taken what felt like a big risk by sharing your personal views? What happened? What did you learn from it? Please share in the comments!

Beth L. Buelow, PCC, is the author of THE INTROVERT ENTREPRENEUR (Tarcher Perigee/Penguin Random House), which was named one of the 100 Best Business Books of 2015 by Inc.com. She's also a certified coach, speaker, and professional occasional-over-thinker. Beth launched her company and podcast in 2010. Follow her on Twitter @introvertcoach and visit her website at theintrovertentrepreneur.com.