Should I stay or should I go?

There might be a time in your relationship when you need to ask yourself this very difficult question. 

It might be the hardest question you ever have to ask yourself.

Should I stay, or should I go?

It’s such a simple question, yet there are so many moving parts to consider that it can be incredibly complex to answer.

Maybe there are kids involved.

You probably have many years of great memories together. 

Most of the things you have are those that you have built up together. 

What will the future hold if I stay or leave?

How will staying or leaving impact the essence of who I am? 

This could be the most important decision of my life. 

When in a healthy and happy relationship, all or most of our personal needs are being met within the relationship.

When the relationship is dominated by conflict, a breakdown in communication or trust, or a lack of intimacy, people naturally search for these needs outside of the relationship. 

Not just the obvious sexual need, but the need to feel valued, understood and appreciated.

It can be really powerful for people who are in a happy and healthy relationship to consider how their needs are currently being met.

What feels so right?

This will provide them with a better understanding of how to maintain and improve things going forward.

It can be equally important for those people experiencing relationship challenges to consider the same.

How are their needs NOT being met?

If they can realign themselves and / or help their partner to ensure more of their needs are met, the relationship will become stronger.

If you find yourself in a position where you are asking yourself this very important question, ‘should I stay and fight for this relationship or is it time to move on?’ then I encourage you to reach out to me directly. 

Alongside my Relationship Reboot Program, I also offer a one-off session to specifically address this challenge. 

You’ll walk away with an increased awareness of the key areas impacting your relationship and a range of strategies to overcome your biggest challenges.

It’s also really useful to remember this…

The challenge we all face in our relationships is that there are really six relationships-in-one.

1. The Romantic Stage - everything is brand new and fun. You can portray the very best version of yourself and enjoy the raw passion and excitement. 

2. Early Marriage - two people make this life-long commitment to each other. How does that change the dynamic and the effort both people put into continuously developing their relationship? 

3. Childbirth and dealing with the chaos of having young children - The period is extremely tough with less sleep, less time and more financial pressures. 

4. Middle Marriage - how do you adapt to settling into this period of calm. You have greater control and predictability around your family environment. How do you remain connected to your partner and excited to spend time together and share experiences? 

5. When your kids leave home - Have you been living through your children for the last 15-20 years. Do you still have things in common? Share similar values and motivations towards life?

6. Retirement and Old Age - The reality that you will literally be spending the rest of your life with this person. You have shared my years of memories together and built your own family. Is there a burning need to seek fulfilment outside of the relationship or can your priority needs still be met by remaining together?

Maybe you are entering a very different stage in your relationship and there needs to be a shift to regain your synergy. 

Maybe you need to gain a better understanding of what you really want.

There is no quick and easy answer to the ‘should I stay or go’ question.

It’s one that needs a huge amount of careful consideration.

There is however, a range of strategies you can apply that will help you to gain a better understanding of both yourself and your relationship dynamic. 

I would love to be able to help in any way I can, so please do drop me a message if you’d like to chat. 

Wishing you health and happiness in your relationship. 

~Steve~