Should I stay or should I go?
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Should I stay or should I go?

I’m writing this at 3:34am on a morning in the middle of February.

I’ve been tossing and turning all night, even listened to a Neil deGrass Tyson Podcast (because as entertaining and informative as he is, he always makes me glaze over) ??

The reason I can’t sleep is that someone I have been working with has questioned my expertise and experience in:

  1. The work that they have engaged me to do for them for over a year without any such questions, and
  2. The industry in which this business operates

I could be more explicit at this point, but my lips are sealed ?? not because I have an iron-clad NDA in place, I don’t even need one, it’s just how I roll.??

I act with integrity.? Always.

My response??

Well, I detailed the highlights from my 20+ year career in HR, sliding my way up the greasy corporate pole in the process.? I even used phrases like "Leading Transformational Change Programmes", "Increasing Employee Engagement" and threw in some 7-figure numbers, stopping only when I almost gagged on my vomit from the word salad ??

Why did I feel the need to justify my response? I shouldn't have.

I don’t need to put up with this ?? and neither do you - EVER!

If you are angry and p!ssed off about something, it is generally because the action or behaviour you are on the receiving end of is going against your values in some way.

It is grinding your gears. ?? ?? ??

It is against everything that you stand for and makes you question why you are doing what you are doing.

Listen to that voice.

Managers are there to lift you up, to create an environment where you can flourish (I almost gagged again ??), they need to figure out what it is that makes YOU tick and they need to create an environment in which YOU can succeed.

If you stifle talent, they will suffocate.??

If you are gasping for air you are not alone.

The question is dear reader, should I stay or should I go? . . . cue EastEnders duff-duffer music ??????

The thing is, so many businesses and individuals talk about values, the question is, are they lived or are they laminated?

Mine are not just put on a laminated card that you can slide into your lanyard after the latest company "All Hands" session, they are lived.??

I have dug deep to really understand what they are and realise that the things that grind my gears and the things that are important to me are my values.? They determine my priorities and guide my decisions.

What are yours?

If you come up with the usual vanilla values and are looking for something to get you thinking, then I have decided to share the worksheet that I give to my 1:1 career coaching clients.??Yes, I'm giving it away.

It's free as a sneeze in allergy season ??

Free as a fart in a yoga class ??

Free as the extra fries at the bottom of your Five Guys bag ??

Ok, Ferré, that's enough now . . .

If you would like a link to my free worksheet on uncovering your personal values, then DM me on here with your email address so that I can share it with you.

If you can step out from the vanilla and me laugh, even better - I need a laugh right now.

I haven't set up some fancy automated thing (can't be arsed tbh ??♀?), it will just be me, binge-watching "One Day" and responding all by myself (so don't expect an immediate response, ok?).

Until next month

Jane X

Sue Hantman

Aligning and leading stakeholders in Charities, across Finance, Business and IT; Skilled and experienced in Project Management, Process Review, Implementation and coaching

8 个月

Perfectly articulated. I realised a long time ago that misaligned values just don't work. It was when a colleague who was mis-suited to the department didn't work out that it became clearer to others. It's not good for anyone

Martin Schwanke

Senior Data Centre Specialist

8 个月

Sorry this is a bit of a long reply. Hi Jane,? I somewhat feel your pain re your article about "Should I stay or Should I go", well written and engaging entertaining in a heartfelt kind of way.?? My Should I stay" was taken out of my hands for me, in a totally "bizarre" situation,. watching EastEnders "frankly" wasn't, isn't my "Cup of Tea", but here's my story in any event,? I was working happily away, at home on a hybrid job for Information Technology support. and we were in a tight knit team of four, when I was interviewed for the role (pleased to say I was "Head hunted, didn't have to lift a finger to apply). I was told that the position would in honestly be a bit "junior" for my skill set. but I though to myself (its a wonderful world) , no not that, that head song can wait, I thought -? "I can take Junior"? wouldn't have to think so much, so I took on the role,? and didn't have to argue about salary. that was quite good and perks were OK? (Pt 2 underneath) in four replies.

回复
Christine McLean FCaSA, CPCostE

Global expert in Project Controls

8 个月

Can I have your worksheet please. I have learnt (only in the last three years!) that I cannot work with companies who do not share my ethics and values - more importantly those who try and crush what makes me me ??

回复

Been there

Deborah Ager

Helping leaders publish anti-boring books to build a legacy | Thought Partner | Book Coach | Editor | Ghostwriter

9 个月

What you said about how we may feel angry when an action goes against our values makes a lot of sense to me. I never thought about that emotion exactly that way before!

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