Should I just quit

‘Should I just quit?’

A question every person asks themselves at some point during their adult life.

This could be about a job, a relationship, or even a gardening project. (Iam on a new weight loss plan and am asking myself this question every minute!)

Of course, that perpetually motivated (and slightly sadistic) part of your brain immediately wakes up and starts spewing clichéd phrases like – “There are no failures, only quitters” and “Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”

But is quitting really such a bad thing? Is perseverance the only road to success?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of perseverance. We wouldn’t have a Dhirubhai Ambani or a Walt Disney without perseverance. But would the cost-benefit analysis of every situation always result in favour of perseverance?

Bill Gates and Traf-O-Data

Let’s take the example of Bill Gates. The co-founder of Microsoft. The man who was, until quite recently, the second richest person in the world. But did you know, before Microsoft, Bill Gates had another venture – Traf-O-Data.

The purpose of the company was to read raw data from roadway traffic counters and create reports for traffic engineers.

While the company did achieve medium success, the machine they built to process the data flopped. Instead of sticking through and making more of it than they could, Bill Gates and his partners decided to call it quits.

Had Bill Gates persevered with Traf-O-Data, he may have seen some success, but the chances of him coming up with anything as big as Microsoft would’ve been slim, and I would’ve been typing out this article on Notepad instead of MS Word.

While perseverance is important, there are certain situations, where quitting may be the better option.

But how do you know when it’s time to quit and re-align your goals?

Introspection and pro-con lists work great up to a certain extent, but your proximity to the situation, external pressure, and biased point of view make it harder for you to re-evaluate your path.?

My colleague and Founding partner at OfExperiences said this, when I asked her why did she continue with law. (She is a lawyer by education and now heads Marketing )

"By my second year in law school, I knew I was in the wrong place. I didn’t fit in with my intensely competitive peers and the work wasn’t creatively stimulating enough for me to stay interested. Then why did I stick on for 3 more years, write my bar exam, and work at a law firm before deciding to quit? Because I had decided on my goal to become a lawyer years before and how can I quit that goal. Because I was concerned with how my parents would react to my change of mind and because I didn’t know what the alternative to my chosen field was."

She stuck around trying to make it within the legal fraternity, only to get highly disgruntled and eventually quit. She took some time but found her interest in marketing and content and is very content and happy today! (That's what she told me!! )

It’s times like these when an outsider’s perspective may be of great value. A community of your peers that have gone through or are going through similar experiences can help put your situation in perspective. A coach can help you dissect and analyse your goals, and help you get back in sync with your purpose.

How do you decide if it’s time to quit?

While this journey looks unique to each person, we can map out 4 broad steps to get you thinking. 30% help from your community and coach + 70% introspection should take care of the rest.

1. Why do you want to quit?

Lets start with the Big Why.

Let’s say you want to quit your job. You’re frustrated and are constantly looking for reasons to not work.

What is triggering these emotions?

Do you feel like you aren’t following your passion? Do you feel over-burdened? Do you feel under-appreciated? Is it the work or is it the workplace? It’s one thing to know how you’re feeling. It’s a completely different ball game to find out why you’re feeling a certain way and if that’s worth quitting over.

Once you’ve decided to quit, it’s very easy to come up with reasons to validate your stance. Often, you need the help of an objective and non-judgmental third party to help you put your reasons into perspective.

Let’s say you’re feeling over-burdened at work. Can this be solved without you having to quit? Will you be satisfied with work if your workload is reduced?

It is important to either ask yourself these questions or have someone ask you these. The decision to quit is easy but the impact of this decision needs to be carefully understood.

Working with a coach in this space can be helpful. Coaches usually take you through a series of activities to help you introspect and answer these questions.

In case you don't have a coach, you can use the below activity either on your own or have a friend assist you.

Coaching Activity – Energy Zappers -?make a list of everything related to your situation that drains your energy. Close this list and walk away. Review it after a few hours. Go through each point and check if this is an aspect you can avoid or overcome.

2. Cost-Benefit Analysis

You’ve done some soul searching and have decided that you have valid reasons for wanting to quit. That’s great! So why not just go ahead and quit?

Unfortunately, life is never quite that simple. What you need to do is to figure out if the consequences of whatever action you choose are worth it.

What is the cost of staying/leaving – financial, emotional, or otherwise? Does the benefit of quitting outweigh the cost? Also, attach some weightage to each of these. It maybe far more detrimental to stay in a place which is emotionally unbearable even though it is financially rewarding.

When I decided to quit, I weighed all aspects including the worst case scenario of not finding a role of my choice and taking a significant salary hit in the process. Once, I knew this could be my worst case scenario, I prepared myself financially to support the potential change in my lifestyle.

There are 2 ways of answering these cost-benefit analysis questions –

1. Relative terms – your situation in relation to the people and circumstances around you

2. Introspection – sort out your priorities and feelings

The relative aspect of things will require research. Speak to peers and understand the market. Say you’re quitting your job and want to enter a brand-new career path. Will you be able to make the same amount of money as you did in your old job? Do the day-to-day functions of the new role appeal to you? What is the cost and process of undergoing this career transition?

Introspection can be done with the help of self-assessment activities that your coach will lead you through.

Below is an activity that can help you with this self assessment. You can do it on your own or with the help of a friend)

Coaching Activity - broadly define 3 fields – financial, emotional, and effect on others. You then proceed to list the cost and benefit you would incur in each of these fields if you stay on and quit your current situation.

3. Realign your goal

One thing that is sure to make you feel better about quitting is if you have a goal in sight. The new goal could be to pursue a new interest/skill, to rejuvenate, to spend time with loved ones or to take care of your health. It doesn't matter!

As long as you are able to visualize a future after quitting, you will be more confident with your actions. A big part of defining your goals is based on understanding your interest. What makes you happy on a day to day basis? What principles do you feel strongly about? What gives you purpose? What energizes you everyday?

My primary goal was to rejuvenate and it was very easy to just 'Netflix and chill' for weeks at a stretch. However, I decided to keep a few simple goals - taking care of myself and pursuing a new interest. This ensured that after a week of 'vegetating', I had some purpose and structure to the day.

These questions require self-awareness and insight. However, there are a couple of activities that will help you put your interests in perspective.

(You can do the below activity on your own or with the help of a friend)

Coaching Activity – Write down things that make you happy on a day to day basis - it could be a combination of work, hobby and personal interactions. In a separate sheet, write down things that you would like to achieve post quitting. Identify overlaps. If there are sufficient overlaps, you have found your goal. If there are not many overlaps, you are probably either not being honest about what makes you happy or have taken some one else's goal list.

3. Putting your words into action

This is the step where a majority of people get stuck. While it’s relatively simple to talk about one’s reasons for wanting to quit and your passion projects, you need a lot more effort to put your words to action.

If your reason to quit is to spend more time with your loved one, have some clear activities that will aid you to do so. If your reason to quit is to pursue a new role, connect with people in that space, read up more about it and start assisting/taking pro bono projects to help you with the same.

It is important to have some milestones, even if they are small. It is these smaller milestones that keeps us on the path to reach out goal.

It is also important to understand what will stop us from pursuing that what we wanted. A simple activity like the below can help you declutter your mind and give you some structure, even before you decide to quit

Coaching Activity – Take a piece of paper and divide it into 4 sections. In the middle, draw an image of your goal. On each of the 4 sections, write down –

1. Barriers to achieving your goal

2. Enablers to achieving your goal

3. Actions required to achieve your goal

4. How will you feel when you achieve your goal

Populate these sections with your answers and convert this into an action plan divided into day to day tasks. Have an accountability buddy to help you achieve your goal.

And finally, understand that it is ok to quit! However, before you decide to quit, it is important to understand if its a whim or a thought out decision. The impact of quitting is significant and thus it is important to let the soundness of the decision help you ride out the tough days!

Lochan Narayanan?is a learning and development professional and an ICF certified coach with 14+ years of experience across several sectors. She is the Founder of OfExperiences (A Personal development platform aimed to help individuals handle different life's dilemma)?