A SHOCKING realization for me!
Came across a couple who just got married about 3 months ago now DEMANDING for a divorce & how fast that divorce can be finalized!
It’s shocking for me as few years ago I handled a divorce for a couple who wanted divorce after just 4 months of marriage. “The grace period” is becoming shorter & shorter.
The current couple were happily cohabiting for 10 years before deciding to get married coincidentally just before the MCO.
Leaving under the same roof 24x7 since 18/3 (MCO) together with in laws or extended family members like brothers & sisters ‘BROKE THE CAMELS BACK’ !
When the government allowed ‘rentas negeri ‘ on 2nd week of May, one spouse left the matrimonial home returning to the parents.
After some deliberation took place between both families, the couple decided its ‘IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE WITH EXTENDED FAMILY OR WITH EACH OTHERS FAMILY!’
Even as family law practitioner my view on DIVORCE is that, it should be the FINAL resort & NOT FIRST to come to one’s mind!, especially when the ‘breakdown’ of marriage is factored by the elderly or parents or extended family members.
I suggested the couple stay on their own for the time being in order to mend their relationship like old days till both family could calm down.
UNFORTUNATELY both side parents are against it & CONCLUDED the couple are WRONG FOR EACH OTHER & they should get a divorce!
I’m baffled with the parents actually! Instead of cooperating or uniting the couple they are ‘fuelling up a divorce’.
Family members or in law’s intervention have become big contribution or reason of wrecked marriages in the recent years.
In the end, I told the couple and their parents that they have to wait another 19 months to file for a divorce as in simple term ‘cooling off period’ to file for divorce is 2 years from date of marriage (registration date) in accordance with Law Reform (Marriage and Divorce) Act 1976 & the couple do not come under any exceptions of the Act as well.
THE QUESTION NOW?
I wonder what happened to the so called LOVE, PASSION, TRUST, RESPECT & COMPROMISE that kept this couple together for more than 10 years of being unmarried, as the same couldn’t keep them together for more than 3 months after being married!
Celebration of Silver & gold jubilees of marriage going to become a rarity indeed!
Is our ‘Asian culture of living or staying’ together with extended family members or parents ERODING? Or impossible to be practiced or in the current tech savvy era such norm or culture have become redundant?
Chief Legal Officer & Co-Sec, Liberty General Insurance Berhad | Legal 500 GC Powerlist Malaysia
4 年In the past, couples with issues were somewhat forced to continue with their unhappy marriage due to societal pressure or worse, for ladies, due to financial dependency. On the bright side, in present times, couples and even families are able to make decisions without worrying much about external factors such as stigma, financials etc. Sadly though, time taken to decide on getting married is getting relatively shorter compared to the time taken to decide on parting ways....
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4 年Oh wow I'm just really shocked to see how their families aren't level headed in this to help them , but rather also encouraged the divorce. I agree divorce is the final and not the first thing that should come in their mind
CRO at SIAGA INFORMATICS SDN BHD
4 年I think it's due to the expectations of third parties (family members) that causes these type of divorces. I may be wrong here but I've always believed that it would be easier if couples just stay on their own and not with their parents. If cost of living is an issue, then it would be wise for the husband to back down and live together temporarily with the wife's family until the couple's finances are in order/stable.
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4 年Amsa Damodaran Naidu this is indeed a sad realisation. The primary factor of parents causing divorce or friction is just such a sad phenomenon.