Shit! Maybe *I'm* Dilbert ??????

I was engaged in a super fascinating dialogue this past Thursday. The central topic was?“Measurement, Motivation and Management.”

In one of the breakouts, me and a few others were discussing musings like: so called 'experts' who are master bullshitters, those who follow metrics to the level of malicious compliance, & even nepotistic/narcistic leaders. Only to be followed up by more questions; uncovering deeper levels of complexity.

Riveting, right? Aren't these the quality of conversations you yearn for, too?

What I found the most interesting was a comment made by Tim Rubin; quoting Tim, "People don't care more. Instead, company size allows leaders to hide [their carelessness] better."

Of course, I veto'd his statement completely. ??%

Turns out, Tim's statement has been the driving conversation between Serene Seng & I ever since. As a matter of fact, Serene & I are going to LIVE stream together *this week* to discuss CARE.

Actually, to be honest with you, I'm nervous as hell! I've *not once* been on a LIVE Stream. Nothing can be edited *out* in post-production. ?? This is like the wild-wild-west of JUMPING out of my comfort zone!

Yesterday, Serene requested for me "to send [her] an article which supports people caring for each other. Either written by you (ideal) or some fairly reputable source...."

Easy peasy, right?

WRONG!

I've never written an article! Are you kidding me? That's WAAaaY too *out there* for me! What if I'm exposed as a FRAUD?!

?? But wait?!

?? What am I doing?

?? Whose driving this personal narrative anyway?

?? Aren't *I* the one who wants to write a book?

?? Aren't *I* the one whose knee deep in management consulting, where writing After Action Reports (AARs) is just 'part of the deal'?

?? Am I saying I've *never* written anything, ever?

?? Who am I *being* in this moment?

?? Am I walking in line with who I need to *become* to DREAM BIG & co-create *systemic shifts for good* in our world?

?? Am I shooting myself in the foot before getting started?

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And now you, too, are 30 minutes into my crazy.

??

Where do we go from here?

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Let's now explore the nuance. ??

As Serene & I were coming up with a title, we stumbled over Dilbert. Thank goodness, because I think Dilbert's hysterical! And what better way to bring more people into the conversation than with a bit of humor?! ??

Are you at all familiar with the comic strip? It's okay if you're not.

Quoting Wikipedia:

?? Dilbert Principle ??

"The Dilbert principle is a concept in management developed by Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip Dilbert, which states that companies tend to systematically promote incompetent employees to management to get them out of the workflow."

But WAIT! There's another side to this...

?? Peter Principle ??

"The Peter Principle is a concept in management developed by Laurence J. Peter, which observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to their "maximum level of incompetence": employees are promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a level at which they are no longer competent, as skills in one job do not necessarily translate to another."

?? Are there truths in BOTH of these principles?

?? How can two juxtaposed principles co-exist?

?? What about the individuals who aren't in either of these two camps?

?? Perhaps there's more *unseen* bits we're not even considering! Is this where the conflict comes into play when we're trying to get someone else to SEE things from our point of view?

This reminds me of the ancient indian parable of the blind men and an elephant.

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I'd like to use the remainder of this 90-minute sprint (I'm timing- & pushing myself to create my very first LinkedIn article; it's not going to be pretty, but it will get done, and it will be a product I'm at least 80% satisfied with), sharing some of my own experiences.

Experiences where I've felt like the Dilbert... and in some cases, especially now, where I'm more like the Peter. But in actuality, I'm neither.

Don't put me in a box, yo! ??

NOTE: I'm sharing these experiences with you now because I want YOU to get to know ME a little better. The way I see it, if I share a little about me, maybe you'll want to share a little piece of you. ? And...for me, it's been one of the most effective tools to building deep, meaningful, quality relationships with people from all over the world.

BEEP BEEP, VROOM VROOM! ?? Let's GO! ??

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??

Recently, I attended a story narrative workshop addressing the topic: FEAR. During one of the exercises, we were paired up with one other person. The individual I was paired with owned a small, in-person, service based business. And during the last 18-months, the business had suffered due to the pandemic. The organization was at the point where the owner was needing to make BIG, tough decisions about the future.

My objective was to ask this question, "WHY did you choose to share *this* story?", five (5) times.

Did you want to take a guess at what the (5) answers boiled down to as we 'peeled the onion' together?

CARE for PEOPLE.

??

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About 2 years ago to date, I was paired up for a year with a formal mentor through a program provided to Military Spouses, basically helping them sort their life out through transition (from military --> civilian life).

Sounds great, right?! ??

Yeah, not so much. ??

As it turns out, the individual I was paired with was NOT a match. Here's what happened.

We met in-person a few times. I talked the person's ear off - for hours. I'm pretty positive my rambling was 1,000% off-putting for this individual.

A bit of context: I'd never had a mentor before. I don't know HOW I made it to my 30's without having one...but there you have it. Total N00B status.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the coin flip), we lived in different cities. So, it was easy to opt for- & transition to meeting virtually.

Have you ever been in a situation before and thought, "I'm the problem."? Not 'as the victim;' but rather from a much more objective stance?

Long story short, this mentor told me (2) things that BOTH hurt me deeply, AND had made me stronger:

This individual told me:

?? You talk WAaaaAaaY too much. Learn to get to the point. You need to spend 80% of your time listening & only 20% talking. Learn to *close your mouth.*

?? Since you've got entirely no idea what you want to do or where you want to go from here - you've got no direction, kid - I can't help you. My advice is to stay where you're at, as an Executive Assistant, for 2 years and THEN start to figure out what's next for your career.

Ouch!

Can you imagine?!

These words, some may call them 'tough love,' scarred me. I still drag these wounds behind me like loose baggage; *almost* like a badge of honor.

Scars I bear proudly!

But I'm not proud.

I'm misunderstood.

??

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??

And finally, an experience from just yesterday.

It's been a hot minute since my husband & I have been anywhere near a large gathering.

And so, yesterday, we ventured out into the great unknown to have a cookout with a small group of peeps. Apparently, we were supposed to bring our own camp chairs ?? but we weren't told that beforehand.

So, upon our arrival to the 'gathering' our only options were to:

- Stand

- Sit on the grass

OR

- An obscure 3rd option: commandeer the hammock

[Guess what I opted for?]

Our time out was fun.

We had good food.

Lively conversation.

All was well.

After a while...I got sleepy.

The conditions were perfect. The sun was shining, quiet chatter in the background, the sounds of trees rustling in the background, my husband's scaly cap over my eyes.

So...

I asked for a blanket and pillow.

It's not that I didn't CARE for the company, or anything like that. No. It was just 5 o'clock. I had a full belly, was warmed by the sun, and *it was nap time.*

My husband woke me after a while. He said, "honey, WHO GOES TO SLEEP AT A COOKOUT?!"

That's not normal!

??

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What if what you consider 'normal' or correct is flawed thinking?

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You may be wondering what all this has to do with CARE.

Everything!

??

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Here's my argument:

We live in a VUCA world. I believe people DO care deeply. I feel like people simply don't know how to cope; they're living in fear, afraid to share their true emotions. Perhaps there's a large subset of people who are simply misunderstood.

Come! Join in on Serene & my LIVE Stream discussion later this week. I promise, the conversation *won't* be linear.

Instead, it will be gloriously messy.

Let's play together within the complexities of CARE.

??