Shiny, happy people!

Shiny, happy people!

I spent the weekend 400 women.?Some years ago I would have thought, ‘Arrggh, No way!’?

That was because I experienced bullying at school and work, always by women and girls.?When hurtful things happen, we naturally make up rules to keep us safe. These rules apply for the rest of our lives if we don’t realise what’s going on and get help to rewrite them. For me, a group of women meant bitchiness, competitive, snipey behaviours or false smiles and bitching behind your back. I lived in that belief for so long, and it limited me. I never felt confident to make a wide circle of friends, preferring to have just a few that I allowed to really know me. I never put myself out there much when it came to opportunities and networking, oh no – WAY TOO DANGEROUS! Although that’s not what I told myself at the time. I told myself it was a waste of time, that I had nothing to offer anyone, asked myself ‘why would anyone want to talk to me?’ and generally shut down, all because of those experiences. I was in victim mode.

At the #onewomanconference this weekend, my second time, I uncovered new layers of openness and self acceptance, and a new confidence to go out into the world believing what I have to offer is valuable – darn it, even a gift to those who get to work with me. Whooooahh that feels scary to write that on social media!

I was around a set of shiny, empowered, loving women. Together we felt a whole range of emotions. But in that container, everyone and everything is accepted for just what it is. And today, I feel incredibly shiny myself. Back home with a new level of gratitude for my home and my family. A level of joy that I thought was utterly impossible 2 years ago when I first reached out for support. I was feeling utterly burnt out. Exhausted from work and parenting, the pandemic and home schooling, anxious, depressed and afraid of everything. Every little thing that went even slightly awry felt like a mountain to climb. I now know why. I was deplete in every possible way. I didn’t have the first clue how to feel joy, or how to help myself. I just kept working, too much. I kept trying to prove I was good enough to people who I now realise, a) don’t matter and b) already thought I was good enough without me almost killing myself to try to prove it.?I kept showing up for my kids, turning down opportunities to rest or treat myself well – because that’s what Mums do right? WRONG. That’s what martyr, deplete, exhausted and sometimes not ‘our best selves’ Mums do. GREAT Mums sacrifice for their kids, but they also know when to take a break. When to go on that whole weekend away, which their conscience is telling them isn’t ok because they need to be with their kids.?But being away from them sometimes, doing something that lights you up – I mean REALLY lights you up – makes you an even better Mum. You handle things so much better when you get home. This morning for me - incomplete homework, lost school tie and wet trainers needed for PE today?- all a breeze because I am replenished. I am tired from a really busy weekend in London, not sleeping too well in a strange bed and a late train home – but I am replenished in a different way. A way I never knew was even a thing, until I discovered One of Many.

So, for all those Mums who are feeling overwhelmed by everything you have to do, the answer probably isn’t just an early night and a bubble bath.

To be a REALLY GREAT MUM, you need to feel GREAT on the inside. That comes from understanding your inner world, identifying those limiting beliefs and triggers and getting some help to show up differently. I cannot tell you what a state I was in, in May 2021, and in May 2022 at the same conference I thought I was well on the way to ‘better.’?I was, but the awesome news is – better can keep getting better when you know how to show up in a way that doesn’t continually burn you out, AND when you invest time, money and energy into yourself.

Some people have called me a parenting coach. I’m not. I have no interest in telling you how to parent.?I am a women’s coach. I choose to support Mums because I know how hard it is to be all things to all people. My big vision for the world is happy, secure kids who change the world with kindness – no more bullying and suffering. One day I hope to do some work directly with children, but for now I am working on the most important person in many children’s lives – their Mum.?

You can change their life, their prospects and their happiness – but I believe, you must start with you. I am living proof. My babies had a hard time when I had a hard time, and now they are flourishing before my eyes.

I have a few free 45 minute appointments open to women who to know a bit more about what I’m on…. It feels impossible I know, but I can take your hand and show you how.?

Shiny, happy Mummas here we come!!!