Shifting from a "Have Not" to a "Have" mindset & space

The poet Rumi says: "How long will we fill our pockets like children with dirt and stones? Let the world go. Holding it, we never know ourselves, never are airborne." When we practice giving, we let go. We let go of our attachment to particular objects and experiences and the desire to want everything just for ourselves. We let go of self-focus and of, who we are, and what we need. Giving reconnects us to our original nature and makes us airborne. We can be free. Moving from being a taker to becoming a giver involves a shift in mindset and behavior.

My entire life, I have been on the taking side. From affection to gifts to comforts and material possessions, I wanted it all and became a taker. There was always a sense of "deficiency and lack," which made me a "have not" person. Fortunately, I was blessed with loved ones who were just pure givers, who were so kind to me that they tolerated my shenanigans and gave. A much-needed shift occurred when I moved to India a decade ago. I felt my picture-perfect life in Singapore was coming to an end. I rattled and threw tantrums to return to my old life because the change wasn't easy. Little did I realize that my capitalist nature was coming to an end, allowing my true being to resurface. India has transformed me. As I accepted and settled into my new life - I started to see the beauty and calmness it brought. I felt content - a feeling I had deprived myself of for a long time. I became collected and centered in my space and within myself. My empathy and mindfulness heightened. I started to shed. I openly and wholeheartedly gave away things that cluttered my wardrobe and space. I was grateful to friends who accepted my hand-me-down designer bags, belts, clothes, and shoes. I didn't miss them. I felt liberated.

Suddenly, I felt lighter, airborne, and joyous in giving. I had unlocked the power of feeling inner joy/happiness. While I still enjoy receiving (I wait for the cards and gifts on my birthday!), I now love giving even more. I put thoughts into what I want to do for others - not just my loved ones but my community. What can I give to another that can bring them joy and a smile from the heart? What can I do to make another person's life easier? How can I create magic in others' lives? Those are the thoughts I am now guided by.

Giving, nurturing, kindness, being available, and feeling true to myself are all the elements that got unlocked when I shifted from being a "have not" to a "have." Now, even though I own less and am continuously decluttering my mind and space, I feel more abundant and wealthy. That is the power of becoming a Giver!

Here are some steps that can help you make the shift (that's if you want to):

1. Recognize the benefits of giving: Giving has been shown to increase happiness, reduce stress, and improve relationships. When we give, we also create a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives.
2. Start small: Begin by looking for opportunities to give in small ways, such as holding the door open for someone, giving a compliment, or offering to help a colleague with a task. These small acts of kindness can make a big difference.
3. Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in other people's shoes and understand their needs and feelings. This can help you identify ways to give that will be meaningful to them.
4. Give without expecting anything in return: Giving is most effective when it's done without the expectation of reciprocation. Instead, focus on the joy of giving and its positive impact on others.
5. Be consistent: Make giving a regular part of your life. Look for ways to give back to your community or those in need, and make it a priority.

Becoming a giver is a journey, and stumbling along the way is okay. The important thing is to keep moving forward and striving to make a positive impact on those around you.