She's One Of The Guys

From an early age, I had a certain mentality bred into me; that to rise to the top – you had to be ‘one of the guys’, but what does that mean? I know many can identify with this, male or female.

It’s only in recent years that I’ve really began to analyse my own behaviours, perception and what that represents. There’s a great book that was recommended to me by one of the most inspiring and successful women I personally know, I’ll share it with you soon. For any woman looking to take charge of their career, step up without compromise – I’d highly recommend it! Her website is also great for any leaders, both aspiring and accomplished alike!

Now as you may know, sales is a 'close-knit' community; people hear how well you’ve performed and talk. In a previous role, one of my brilliant new recruits, was speaking to an MD of another business (she’s now moved up into a successful management role herself in recent years), made a comment about me being ‘fluffy’ in my management style. When she questioned him, he explained that I’m all very ‘caring’, ‘nice’ and ‘soft’, always coaching and encouraging people. It was clear that this was perceived to be a negative. Why?

Leader Vs Boss

Thinking over the reasons why, it boils down to management style and the assumption that you needed to be very harsh and hard-hitting to get results. There are distinct characteristics between being a leader and a boss. Leaders inspire, coach and develop people to achieve their potential – whereas bosses tend to bark orders and the management style is very much ‘tell’, rather than ‘tell me’ – ruling with fear. Happy people sell – fact! So why is this outdated management style still present in many workplaces still?

Only by standing up and being counted, can we change this mentality. I knew the type of leader I wanted to be and wasn’t going to change. As women started to step up, I was helping to develop more female leaders, which was amazing. There is a fantastic community of successful women as well as men out there, get yourself multiple mentors and find your female lead within there. Having a strong support system around you is key at any stage of your career.

‘She’s one of the lads’

This was a common phrase with which I became associated, I unfortunately used to pride myself on too. Why was this a good thing to my male peers and myself?

Women are often seen as emotional and unable to handle stress, even irrational at times. On the flip side, I’ve seen men pressured to get involved in the laddish behaviour to be seen as ‘part of the team’. Let’s delve a little deeper into that one!

Is it professional to show emotion?

This is a huge talking point for women as well as men. As a man, if you were seen to be showing emotion; you were told to ‘man up’ and ‘stop being a girl’. Men then feel the need to bottle up their emotions for fear of ridicule, making it difficult to talk about their feelings. THIS IS NOT OK! As a woman, showing emotion meant that you were weak and unable to handle business.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s OK to cry every minute of every day at work or have unprovoked outbursts. What I mean to say is that it’s NOT OK to judge people based on their emotions as they are valid. Be respectful, professional, understanding and emotionally intelligent.

The stigma around emotion in business remains, a stigma I may once have supported, but I can happily say that I no longer do. We must work together to stamp out stigma.

Who has it right?

In short – it’s a work in progress. So long as we see each other as equals, we’re on the right tracks!

Now begins a new chapter of my career working for Carrick, a company with a great vision. I was in need of a fresh challenge – so I left my life behind in the UK and moved to our international office in Mauritius. I love the values of Carrick and there are some leading women in this business too, which is always a pleasure to see. As a constantly growing company, with the right values and ethics that I can associate with, I’m excited to be heading along this new journey and supported by a team of amazing women and men alike!

Career woman, men, non-binary – just lead, be you and inspire at every opportunity!

Recommended read:  Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

Website: https://leanin.org/