She’s just Not that Into You

When it comes to attracting and connecting with women a few guys “get it”, but the vast majority don’t.

“How’d your date go?”

“It didn’t happen, man. She flaked.”

“Well, did you confirm the date beforehand?”

“Yes. I sent ‘Hey, are we still down?’ four hours before the date…”

Those who “get it” enjoy abundance with women. Fulfilling relationships, amazing sex, and exciting adventures.

Those who “don’t” are forced to settle with women below their standards – if they can even attract one at all… or if they even have standards.

There are many differences between these two groups of men. If you’re wondering which group you belong to, ask yourself if you’re meeting your definition of success with women. If the answer is “no,” you’re one of the guys who doesn’t get it.

But that’s okay – it doesn’t have to stay that way.

You see, guys who “get it” understand something that most other guys don’t…

And if you can understand this particular element and apply it to your life, you can vastly improve your dating landscape.

What is this element I’m referring to?

In order to be truly successful with women you need to become a man who loves women. 

You see, a woman can feel the difference when she’s interacting with a man who genuinely loves women, and one who does not.

She quickly develops trust with the man who loves women. She can sense he has no ulterior motive, he enjoys the moment, he understands her, and he appreciates her beauty. And as a result, she is more comfortable moving things further with this man.

She never truly feels comfortable around the man who does not love women. She can sense he is not truly comfortable in her world, he is out for some ulterior motive (e.g. proving himself to himself or his friends), he doesn’t understand her, and his mind is in another place. As a result, she usually doesn’t want to move forward with this man.

She Insists on Hanging Out in Public Places

This is fine if it’s the first date – most women prefer to meet in a public place on the off chance that you’re creepy as fuck or dangerous. But if she continuously insists on hanging out in public places, it’s a bad sign.

For example, let’s say you have an awesome first date. You both hit it off. Then, for the second date, you ask if she wants to come over and cook pizza at your panty dropping bachelor pad .

She brushes off the request and says something like, “How about we just walk around and find a good place to get some food?”

“Okay”, you think, “no big deal.” You have fun on the second date too. Then, for the third date, you go to an early evening improv show.

Afterwards, you ask if she wants to walk around the corner and have a glass of wine at your place. She responds, “Sounds fun, but I think I’m going to call it a night!”

There’s usually one big reason she doesn’t want to go back to your place or be in a more private setting with you: she doesn’t want to give you the opportunity to make a move that could lead to sex…because, well, she’s just not that into you.

Either that, or she has some weird hangups about sex. In either case, you should probably move on.

She’s Always “Busy” When You Want to Hang Out One-on-One

As a general rule: If a woman is into you, she’ll make time to hang out with you. Even the busiest of women will put aside a day or two a week to see you. You do the same thing, right? When you like a girl, you make time to see her.

So if she’s constantly “busy” with school, work, or some other thing that’s supposedly taking up all her time, you should be skeptical.

Maybe she does make time to hang out with you – but it’s ALWAYS in a group setting. She invites you out to drinks with friends or networking events, etc. But it’s always in a spot where she won’t be one-on-one with you.

Again, she’s trying to avoid giving you the opportunity to make a move and/or she doesn’t want to lead you on.

Women can tell very quickly whether you “get it” or you don’t. 

Those few men who “get it” see a different side of women than all the other guys who only see their polite and innocent sides. That’s how the guys who “get it” can do things that seem crazy to normal guys, like bang a girl in the club bathroom within minutes of meeting her, bring women home on just about every datev, etc.

Women feel like these men understand them, and that they can be themselves around them. No judgments, no bullshit.

And one of the biggest things that separate these guys from the rest is that they know how to talk to girls the right way – from the first words right on to the bedroom and on from there.

The way they communicate is markedly different from other guys.

On the flip side, here are the problems with the way most men talk to girls:

They’re platonic and friendly. There’s not even a hint of sexuality behind their words. Perhaps they don’t want to offend the girl, or maybe they’re just afraid of scaring her off if they come on too strong.

They never take risks. When they get into a good conversation, they stay there. They don’t try to change anything or move the conversation forward. Instead, they try to avoid messing things up so they can maintain that comfortable nice little conversation.

They have no purpose. They don’t know where to lead the conversation. They’re not sure how to move it forward from one spot to the next, and hooking up with a girl becomes a matter of pure luck. These guys don’t command the situation.

So now, you’re probably wondering how to talk to girls the right way…

Well, I’ll lay out a strategy that any guy can take and use to have better conversations with girls.

If you put it into action, you won’t just improve your conversations with women, but you’ll also start to attract them with your words and have a lot more fun.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate. 

Thank you …She Says She’s “Not Ready” for a Relationship Right Now.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

So…what do you like about the beach?

Once you start talking to a girl, you need to keep the conversation going. The best way to do that is to ask a few short-answer questions (i.e. yes/no questions or those that only require a one or two-word response), followed by open-ended questions.

Short answer questions like “Where did you go to school?”,

 “What do you do?”,

 “Where are you from?”

 are okay to ask, especially at the beginning of a conversation, but unless you follow up with open-ended questions, the conversation will fall flat.

Want to add word or two? 

Open-ended questions require a deeper, more extended response and they break the girl out of autopilot. These are your money questions. If you can master these, you’ll be able to open up almost any conversation, and you’ll understand how to talk to girls with ease.

Your comment ….? 

Here’s how you can mix these in with short-answer questions:

You: “What do you do?”

Her: “I’m an accountant.”

You: “Cool cool. How did you get into that?” [open-ended]

Her: “Well, my dad was an accountant and ever since I was a kid, I always had a dream of owning my own accounting firm. So this was kind of the first big step. It’s been pretty cool so far, but I’m working a lot. 

You: “Oh wow, that’s awesome. I like a girl who isn’t afraid to go for her dreams. What makes you want to own your own accounting firm? 

Her: “Well, I really like leading people and…”

The key with open-ended questions is that you need to dig a little deeper.

 For example, instead of asking “Did you like it?”, ask “What did you like about it?”

Use the Right Topics ….hit the right topics and get her excited

The true Casanovas out there who really understand how to talk to girls are adept at hitting the right conversation topics.

A good conversation topic does at least one of three things:

Helps you connect with her (usually by focusing on things about her). For example, topics like her dreams, her experiences, and what she loves to do.

Pushes the date forward (escalates things and helps you move her to some place more intimate later on). For example, topics like her favorite music, what she finds sexy in a guy, and dancing.

Handles the logistics (resolves any issues/timeframes with taking her home or seeing her again). For example, topics like what she’s up to later on/tomorrow, and what she’s up to this week.

These types of topics will give you a lot of things to discuss in your conversations, so you won’t have to worry about running out of things to say.