Shelf Help is Usually Just That

Shelf Help is Usually Just That

I checked my Kindle today; I have 309 books on my virtual shelf. Granted, there are a few David Baldacci thrillers and some other guilty pleasures, but 90% are non-fiction advice books about leadership, relationships, career, and generally how-to live the best, most amazing life possible in all areas.

Self-Help.

As a coach of leaders all over the world, my clients are often hungry for a resource to give them all the answers and I have my go-to books for scenarios like the following:

  • Conflict resolution (Crucial Conversations by Patterson or Outward Mindset by Arbinger)
  • Giving difficult feedback (Radical Candor by Kim Scott)
  • Recently promoted (Leadership Pipeline by Charan et al.)
  • Taking things personally (The Four Agreements by Ruiz)
  • Time management (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey)
  • Taking on a big job (The First 90 Days by Watkins)

Something changed for me though, now that I am a coach.

Sometimes I offer these books, but sometimes I don’t because the truth is that books almost never make the difference people expect them to make, even if it’s an excellent resource.

I was talking to a client today who wanted some resources on dealing with conflict at work. I had offered him Crucial Conversations and he came to today’s session with the results of his reading.

“Ken, all the situations were just too perfect and although I think the strategies could work, there is no way I am going to remember all of those different queues and directions that they list in the book unless I walked around with the book in my hand.”

What he needs actually is practice. So that’s what we did—we looked at his scenarios. Talked about them. Created a next step strategy.

It turns out the book is a good starting point for a conversation. The concept of why people struggle during hard conversations is now available to him—and combined with coaching, he has a way forward.

This is especially true with neurodivergent leaders. The book, if they have the focus to sit down and read, is best used as a starting point for practicing what is really going on for them. Role-playing. Dissecting scenarios. This is the way. Coaching.

I’m happy to touch base with you directly if you want a resource recommendation—but I will also encourage you to add a conversation with a coach, mentor, or friend to your process if you want to get the most out of it.

______________________________________________________________

Past Articles: Neurodiverse Leadership Resource Library

Want more resources on neurodivergent leadership? We are finding and creating resources for you. Watch this section expand every week.

Feb 7: New From Petra Russell: Unlocking ADHD Innovation: Coaching Strategies for Neurodivergent Leaders

Jan 31: If You Don’t Know by Now, Knowledge is Not the Key

Jan 17: More Resources on Your Neurodivergent Journey

Jan 10: Let’s Talk About Empathy

Dec 20: Leaders Talk to Themselves

Dec 13: They’re Called Coping Mechanisms for a Reason

Dec 6: Leadership is an Inside Job

Nov 22: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Nov 15: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Nov 8: Leaders Don’t Want to Be Victims

Nov 1: "He Only Cares About Himself"

Oct 18: Neurodivergent Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Oct 4: How to Be Disciplined When You Just Aren’t

Sept 26: My Boss Doesn’t Listen, Now What?

Sept 20: You Can’t Manage Time—Even if You Have Neurodivergent Superpowers

Sept 13: Breaking Through the "Nerd" Ceiling

Sept 6: You Are Not Alone

Aug 30: More than Ever, Neurodivergent Leaders Need a Coach

Aug 22: The Enneagram and My Leadership

Aug 9: Do You Really Want to Manage Up? Start here!

Aug 1: The Difference Between Good Leaders and Great Leaders is How Much They Care (About People)

July 25: Better Living Through Chemistry—Until There is a Shortage

July 19: Coming Alive is What We Are Meant to Do

July 12: What Is My Purpose? What Happens When High Performers Feel Defeated?

June 28: The Art of Really Listening…Doing a Listening Fast

June 20: "It's Everything"

June 13: Listening to Completion

June 6: Embodying Resilience and Grit

May 23: Taylor Swift Can Do It With a Broken Heart—So Can You!

May 16: Neurodivergent Executives (Like The Yeti but Real)

May 10: Focused and Distracted at the Same Time

May 3: All Brains Belong

April 25: No One Told Me I Couldn’t Do That!!! Expectations vs Agreements & Neurodivergent Leaders

April 19: I Can’t Deal with THIS Person

April 12 : Being Smarter is NOT the Answer

April 5: All Executive Coaching Eventually Becomes "Life Coaching"

Mar 28: The Best Leadership is Service

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Week

Mar 15: Without Empathy We're Without Leadership

Mar 8: You Aren't Who You Think (Or Feel) You Are

Mar 1: Thriving Uniquely vs Suffering in Silence: The Benefits of Confidential Self-Identification for Neurodivergent Leaders

Feb 23: Who Needs Productivity Anyway? Did You See That Squirrel?

Feb 12: Emerging from Shame: Illuminating the Path to Neurodivergent Leadership Brilliance

Feb 1: Always Do Your Best Doesn’t Mean Always Do THE Best

Jan 25: There is Nothing Wrong but Something Is Missing

Jan: 19 What’s a Vision Anyway? Why Can’t They Just Do Their Jobs?

Jan 12: A Day in the Life of a Neurodivergent Leader: Navigating Autistic Demand Avoidance at Work

Jan 5: Redefining Autism: The Power of Self-Identification

Dec 21: Why Am I So Anxious

Dec 14: Cultivating Brilliance in Neurodivergent Leaders

Dec 7: Conversations Matter

Dec 1: The Trouble With Geniuses

Nov 17: Science Lesson

Nov 10: Living from Logic in an Emotional World

Nov 3: Communicating with Precision and Simplicity

Oct 27: Creativity and Innovation

Oct 20: How Neurodiversity is Making a Positive and Innovative Impact

Oct 12: It’s Lonely at the Top—Especially for Neurodivergent Leaders

Oct 6: Simply Different?

Sept 29: ADHD: The Kryptonite of It and Its Superpowers

Sept 21: Nerds (and Geeks) Are Leaders Too!

Sept 14 : Blind Spots: You Can't See Yours

Sept 7: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Aug 31: ADHD Kids Become ADHD Adults—but Sometimes the Tools Stop Working

Aug 25: Are you Dumb Enough to Manage Up?

Aug 18: Understanding the Avoidant Employee

Aug 10: Your Leadership is Not Served by You Thinking You are Less Than

Aug 4: Leaders Don't Want to Be Victims

July 20: Are You Overcompensating?

July 13: Why We Need the Outdoors

July 6: It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature

June 29: EMOTIONAL BIDS: What Do We Do When Someone Reaches Out to Us Emotionally?

June 15: The Boxes We Put Ourselves In

June 8: Please Just Tell Me the Answer!

May 25: Dyslexia and Leadership

May 18: Autism and Leadership: Advantages and Challenges

May 11: ADHD and Leadership

May 4: Hi Elon, I'd Like to Be Your Executive Coach

Apr 27: Surprise! Your Motivators are NOT Their Motivators

Apr 14: Managing Up Success Story

Apr 6: The Power of Routine

Mar 30: The Nerd Ceiling and Digital Body Language

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Makes For Better Leaders (Sometimes)

Mar 16: He Only Cares About Himself

Mar 9: Neurodiverse Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Mar 2: What if My Neurodiverse Boss Sucks with People?

Feb 23: Why Am I So Anxious?

Feb 16: The Trouble With Neurodiverse Leadership (Forbes Article)

Feb 9: Your Straight Talk is NOT Authentic Leadership

_______________________________________________________________

Staying In Touch

What leadership challenges are you facing??We’d love to hear from you - feel free to set up a time to chat here.

Make sure you never miss an issue! Click the "subscribe" button in the upper right-hand corner of the page. For more articles and insights, connect with me here.

Tom Kille

Product and Partnerships @ Apple

2 周

Totally agree. I used to read all of those, but if you ask me now, I don’t think I could quote a single one. It’s all about in person practice and observation for me. I’ve gone back to using my reading time to get lost in a novel :)

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Ken Carlson的更多文章