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A big chunk of our time is gone dealing with people daily. It's called being in the social engagement mode. People interact with others at home and work, in educational institutions, on social media, when shopping etc.

Having supportive & kind people in your life makes you feel safe & secure & it helps you grow further. Likewise, people with bad intentions/hidden agendas or those trying to manipulate you for their gains can not only slow down your progress but also demotivate you & affect your overall well-being.

Duplicitous behavior exists everywhere but quite often at the workplace, in the desire of achieving quick promotion or recognition. However, it might be difficult to identify such types of personalities and deal with it. At one point or another, you must have come across a coworker or probably a supervisor who was shrewd & deceitful. Such people will attempt to achieve their goals through lying or influencing the emotions of other people with no regard to being ethical or rightful.

Let me share two examples to help you understand such a behavior:

Example 1,

Person A said something hurtful & disrespectful to Person B. It makes B feel suppressed and insulted. Now, when B tries to share his feelings with A, then A cleverly changes the tone of the conversation by pointing out that B is overreacting or being too sensitive. Or A might give B the silent treatment to make B feel guilty for sharing his feelings & making him believe that he did something wrong.

Example 2,

At the office, you shared a solution with your manager as you came up with an amazing idea to solve a problem, only to see an email later from your boss sent to the CEO and the rest of the team stating how he has thought of a new course of action without giving you credit for the idea. They do this to gain brownie points from the higher management and receive accolades from the rest of the team without caring about you.

Sometimes manipulation can be hard to spot.

Here are a few classic signs of that at the workplace or in general-

? Such people never mean what they say or say what they mean. Their intentions are corrupt & their words never match their actions.

? They may come across as being superficial. You will not find a sense of genuine bonding/concern or a nurturing attitude. It is all a cover-up just to look courteous.

? They are likely to justify the same inappropriate/wrongful actions when they do it but will point it out as wrong when others do it.

? They play mind games by using their body language to influence others' emotions and behavior while being selectively cautious & playful with the choice of their words.

? They dwell in the past and are often highly egoistic. Egocentrism & selfishness is larger than the team or someone's goal.

? They try to cast a shadow upon you by talking you down & never appreciating you in front of the group. They cleverly try to influence people by feeding them ideas/making remarks about how 'you are so inadequate.

? They try to maintain control by having conversations on their terms. For example, in their office, or at a time that suits them but not you. They might also give you little time to decide, hoping it will force you to say yes to their original demands.

? They are very competitive & not at all interested in others' development. Their only focus is on self-gratification.

? They are cunning with their words. They never stick to what they say and may keep changing their mind all the time.

? They get fixated on things, reluctant to see a fault in their behavior. They cause disturbance & create nuisance because they are busy trying to manage everything and control others constantly.

You'll never have clarity around such people, either at the workplace or in your personal life. They could quickly go back on their word or cause a stir of negativity around. They project their lack of empathy/passive-aggressive behaviors onto others.

Psychological manipulation could partly be because of earlier conditioning in life. It may also stem from a negative sense of self-worth or insecurity of his position. We can try to alter such behaviors by providing regular feedback while being careful and showing a kinder outlook towards them. Please stay tuned to uncover how you can deal with such a personality type in your day-to-day/work life in my next blog.

Have you come across such ?????????????????????? personality? Feel free to share their characteristics that you might have observed or can share some examples to help professionals identify & manage the situation,

#nlp #WorkplaceSuccess #behaviorscience #ODspecialist