Shed Your Shame & Watch What Happens
Matt Higgins
CEO and Cofounder at RSE Ventures | WSJ Bestselling Author: Burn the Boats, Harper Collins, 2023 | Executive Fellow at Harvard Business School
The sooner you let go of the shame you’re carrying, the lighter you’ll feel, the faster you’ll run, the farther you’ll go.?
There’s a reason I talk about my tortured beginnings (growing up dirt poor, dropping out of high school at 16 to get my GED, start at Queens College, and get a better paying job to care for my sick mother...)
Why unearth my past when I could easily bury it in the backyard?
The reason is so I can model this point. And because I’ve seen how shame can wreck potential.
When you deny yourself space to heal, or absolution for your perceived sins, you resent extending that same courtesy to others. Which is why I try to foster environments where it’s safe to shed your shame.
Throughout my career, I’ve advised countless leaders at their lowest — from former Jets coach, Rex Ryan, when he was in the midst of a leaked video incident (which I talk more about in my book, Burn the Boats) to many others who were forced out of their jobs or careers for even bigger stumbles.?
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And the truth is that people love a comeback story.?
What’s inspiring about your success isn’t what you have going for you. It’s what’s working against you – your trauma, your regrets, and your regressions.?
Divorce. Cancer. Poverty. High school dropout. I unashamedly check all these boxes. But instead of feeling cursed, you can make a gift of your trauma.
Shedding your shame is the best way to inspire others to do the same. It’s why I talk about my GED 10x more than my JD.
When someone out there who is struggling hears you can start out as a high school dropout and end up a judge on Shark Tank, or teaching at Harvard Business School, they know they have a shot to do the same.
There’s no need to peddle a tidy false narrative, airbrush the past, or pretend you’ve got it all figured out (I certainly don’t).?
No – shed your shame and watch what happens.
Author and Speaker | Advocate I Real Estate Investment
2 年Thank you Matt for owning your past! Your mentioning how those of us with trialed pasts often gain opinions of others that seem skewed as they do not see our full picture. Surrendoring to our pasts can be uncomfortable. I cannot express the gratitude I have for my spouse, healthy family and successful businesses. It’s now time to share that same gratitude for the past that built me. It’s in this uncomfortable space where growth happens! Thanks for sharing!
Strategic Marketing and Business Development Leader | Expert in Revenue Acceleration & Strategic Partnerships | Trusted by C-Suite | Acclaimed Photographer, Visual Storyteller & Digital Asset Strategist.
2 年Listening to the Audible version of "Burn The Boats".
Business Owner at Wooly Jobs LLC
2 年Great Message, and Relevant too! The past can truly be an anchor or a lesson to teach us and help us relate to others.
?? C-Suite Executive | Leadership Development & Strategy Expert | Executive Coach | Transformational Change Leader | Business Growth & Turnaround Specialist ??
2 年Nice one Matt Higgins. Great narrative, and one I truly appreciate. Thank you!
Customer Success at Thrivable ? Driving Action, Fostering Consensus, and Shaping a Better Future for All
2 年It can be incredibly powerful when someone shares their story of persistence and grit so perhaps others can see themselves in that story and overcome the same sort of challenges they faced. I had several professors at Coe College and mentors at ACT who helped me overcome challenges related to being a first-generation college student and professional by sharing their own experiences for me to learn from.