Find people who inspire you to create a career that inspires you

Ever want to build a relationship with someone you admire? Someone who inspires you? It may just be the key to your success.

I don't believe in dream jobs. I believe in a career trajectory that has you feeling fulfilled.

Since starting my career in 2009, one key thing I've learned about leading a successful one is that it has less to do with you and just as much, if not more, with the people around you. Don't be mistaken – you still have to give it your all. I've realized, however, that every one of my career successes has been in direct correlation with someone whom I trust taking a risk on me. Have you experienced the same?

I've become obsessed with creating the condition that others I respect and admire are willing to take risks on me.

Even if you're a self-made entrepreneur, you need people to take the risk of buying from you or joining your venture, in some fashion. Like it or not, that takes risk – people choosing you or your offering. Since making this discovery, I've become obsessed with creating the condition that others I respect and admire are willing to take risks on me.

We live in a time where the cliché of "Do what you love" is plastered everywhere. I think the latest place I saw it was on my WeWork membership card. The right phrase should be, Find what you love, then pursue it. Forever. Two of the ways I've found what I love doing is 1) by inadvertently experiencing what I hate and 2) using what I admire in others to build a career I admire myself.

Experience. Anything.

My first gig out of business school was an experience I ended up detesting. And I'm glad I did. Especially early in our careers I feel it's important to experience anything available to us in order to begin figuring out our own pathway to success.

Because of my first job, I clearly discovered what I loved doing by experiencing the very opposite. On my first day on the job, as a young whipper-snapping new grad at a downstream oil and gas organization, 1,000 people were laid off post-merger. Within a year on the job I was unmotivated, disengaged and uninspired. I happened to be mentoring a number of interns, giving them an honest portrayal of my experience at the organization. I was fired from that first gig on my one-year anniversary as the area EVP got wind of my sound mentoring when a disproportionate number of interns, upon their exit interviews, cited conversations with me. Oops. #rebelwithacause

The good news is I then had greater clarity of what I wanted because I experienced what I didn't want. I wanted to feel inspired, safe to be me, engaged and fulfilled by my every day. Somehow I figured it out – probably because I'm human – that the greatest way to feel those feelings was to devote my career toward helping others feel inspired, safe, engaged and fulfilled by their every day.

At 23 years old, I felt I figured it out. I felt like I knew the future I desired. It was as if Step 10 was completely clear. However, standing at Step 1, I had no idea what steps 2-9 entailed.

Enter: People I admire.

My next step was finding people who were doing things that piqued my interest. Finding people who were doing things I admired, found interesting and inspired me. I figured that associating with them would help me find my path and may enlist them to help me get there. Here is a snippet my shortlist of peeps who inspire me – what's yours?

• Denis Shackel – an influential professor at the Richard Ivey School of Business who showed me what fulfillment truly felt like.
• My paternal grandfather for his strength, sacrifice and courage.
• Anuj Chandarana for challenging me to believe in and challenge myself.
• Ahalya Kethees for taking the initial risk on me and exhibiting what it means to live as a giver.
• Simon Sinek for his ability to communicate an absolutely inspiring vision for the world in terms so easy to understand, repeat and act upon.
• David Mead because he was/is one of Simon's cronies and has an ability to turn Simon's concepts into tangible and actionable tools.
• John Jackson for being an engaging ham like me.
• Viktor Frankl for his book, Man's Search for Meaning.
• Malcolm Gladwell for his brilliant way to tell a story with human applicability.
• Adam Grant for sharing a blueprint that unpacks how helping others drives our own success.
• Ron Tite for showing me how to do stand up comedy with a purpose.

Armed with your shortlist of people who inspire you, you now have some data. Some questions to explore: for what reason do these people inspire you, and what stands out as common themes across these people? For me, as I look across my list, I found these themes:

• That I love to be the centre of attention. (Eek. That can be dangerous.)
• All of these people do work that matters – that moves the human race and the world forward. (Phew. Service is an antidote to ego.)
• I love to engage with people in meaningful ways so that we connect with depth and live in a more fulfilled world.

Now, go prove your hypotheses.

Now that you have your ingredients of what inspires you, try to connect with these people to test out your hypotheses. Are you truly inspired by what you claim to be? Can you imagine building a career, that is both viable and enjoyable, by bring said themes to life? Are these people legit? Are they givers who are willing to help you?

Disclaimer: My shortlist above includes some people I know or met along the way, some people who are no longer alive, and some people who are famous and hard, though not impossible, to access. Regardless, you can learn from them all.

Here's a valuable, actionable nugget.

If we agree that building relationships with others who inspire you and you admire is a key success factor for your career, read on. I have found a way to construct a message that will grab their attention, most especially if they are legit. It consists of five simple points.

1. Common connection: Start with how you may already know each other or share in a mutual connection. Share how you previously met, who put you onto them, or even better, ask for a mutual friend to make a warm introduction for you. And then follow steps 2-5.
2. You inspire me: Share with them how they inspire you. If you get this right and they are legit, they'll keep reading.
3. Share what you're inspired to do: Because of said inspiration from them (how flattering), share what you are inspired to do or are already doing to advance their cause or your shared vision.
4. Here's how you can help: Share with them the ways you feel they may be able to help you advance your own work, and in turn advance their vision of the world as well.
5. You like coffee? Ask to buy them coffee or lunch – or simply ask for 15 minutes of their time.

I have found this to be a very successful method. It's this messaging framework that helped me connect to, and eventually launch a career with, Simon Sinek. If the people on the other end are legit, they will help, either directly or by connecting you with other people who can.

Stay inspired. Inspire others!

-Shed