If She Wears the Pants, Then Put on a Damn Dress

We see it all the time. With a quick shrug and sheepish smile, a buddy justifies why he can’t hang with the boys, proclaiming, “she wears the pants in the relationship”.?

A swift ribbing ensues or nods of understanding. Some see it as a cop-out while others may take it to mean that your boy's balls got snipped upon declaration of coupledom.?

In modern families, strict gender roles are being, if not destroyed, loosened significantly. Who watches the kids, who does the food shopping, who gets to go out with friends while the other spouse watches the kids-what are the new rules?

Modern men must recognize that just because they have a penis doesn’t mean there are certain jobs for them and others for their wives. For instance, if you come home one day and your wife is standing on a ladder, drill in hand, changing a light fixture, perhaps the best thing not to say is, “Give me the drill, I’ll finish for you.” Rather, maybe you should tell her you’ll bring her a glass of water or help her when she tells you to turn the electricity back on.?

You see, it’s all about knowing what number you both fall into on the masculine/feminine scale. You may come home excited and full of energy after closing a big deal, wanting to take your wife out and celebrate. In this case, your masculine energy is high. On a rating of 10, you might be at a 9 or a 10.?

In another case, you may come home after a hard day of work burned out and not wanting to make any decisions. You’re happy to sit on the couch and veg out for a bit to get back to normal.? In this case, your masculine energy may be at a 5.? When you ask your wife what she wants for dinner, she is noncommittal. Her masculine energy is at a 1. Even though you may not want to make a decision, to make sure you both eat, you find the need to take charge and move your masculine energy from a 5 to a 7 to make that happen.?

It’s a balancing act with masculine energy, and the scales don’t always swing in the direction of the “man of the house”.?

If your wife makes more money than you and tells you she is buying a new car, don’t argue and say “Why do you need one?” How about “I like the model you picked out; you’ll look good in the blue one.”

When she wears the pants in certain situations, just be cool with it and put on a damn dress.?

That shouldn’t threaten you, that shouldn’t cease your existence. A simple, “Yes baby, what would you like?” will suffice.?

All this means is that you’re taking a slight backseat in the decision-making while she takes the lead. If you put on the dress, wear it with relish instead of the ‘ol “woe is me” poor puppy flavor. You see, in relationships, you get to renegotiate the pants/dress roles on an ongoing basis.?

Letting the other person wear the pants doesn’t mean you put yourself in a corner.?

You don’t want to give up the pants entirely because you wear a “dress” sometimes during the day.?

If your wife makes a “more than a majority” of the decisions and you feel like she runs things...there is still a high likelihood that when it comes to your intimate relationships she wants you to run them.?

In this case, remember to “wear the pants” when the clothes come off.?

Courtney Alberson is a pioneer in leading men’s groups to discuss issues and challenges facing modern-day men. From overcoming sexual traumas to living life unleashed, there is no topic that is off-limits. You may be a self-made millionaire, a C-level executive or a stay-at-home dad. But you feel disempowered or unsure why you are hitting roadblocks. If so, book a session with Courtney to discover how to step into your full power and recreate the life you’ve always imagined. Go to https://calendly.com/sidecarsolutions/20min to book a complimentary session.?