She Couldn’t ‘Finish’ – But the Real Block Wasn’t in the Bedroom

She came to me for support with a “problem” even herself found it hard to say it out loud.

“It seems that I have a problem getting orgasm.”

She was sexually actively on her own or with a partner.

It was not a situation of affection because at that time, they were discussing reallocating together and making a more serious commitment to each other.

I was no sexual therapist but she came to me.

She had orgasms before and then suddenly at some point, she “couldn’t” have it anymore.

I dug deeper.

Was it a physical condition or something else.

She couldn’t “allow” herself to reach it during any sexual encounter.

I asked her to connect with her body and see how the notion of orgasm made her feel.

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Together,

We unearthed a memory in her early 20s which was traumatizing because the judgement she received from her mother when she had to went through an abortion. She chose to.

She didn’t forget about this event.

She “just” completely buried her emotional self. She forgot how she felt.

And it was not a surprise she couldn’t fully allow herself to go through that event of her life with support back then.

The way she punished herself is stop allowing herself enjoy her body and express her body fully.

She didn’t even realize herself doing it until this session.

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In the space I was able to hold for her,

Some 15 years later, she could allow that 20 something self to grief, to be angry, to feel ashamed, to feel stupid and more IN FULL.

Once she was courageous enough to see these emotional selves play out,

I asked,

“Would it be so bad these were once part of you?”

“What will you lose now if they were?”

Through really connecting these parts, she began to understand she had never been less even when she was judged so poorly.

She saw the wise self of that time as well.

How she took care of herself.

How she had the courage to make the decision.

How she was so resilient to become the now self.

She reconnected with a new layer of her own wholeness and greatness.

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She was shaking, crying breathlessly throughout the session.

She kept saying she was so afraid.

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Well, one week later,

She told me this “problem” solved.

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This was about 2.5 years ago.

Now, she is not only capable of reaching orgasm.

She can also openly discuss and express her needs, preference, emotional and physical feeling when it comes to sex.

This was a session I’d never imagine doing when I started out to be a lifestyle coach/intuitive healer.

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?? What could you learn from this session?

Our biggest obstacles often times are NOT that we are not talented, smart, prepared, ready enough.

BUT those part of us we chose not to see, not to accept, not to love.

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It’s NOT your fault to CHOOSE NOT.

A lot of it was coping mechanism when we couldn’t fully understand what was really happening and when we didn’t feel safe at the time of event.

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YET,

IT IS YOUR choice to be the Fullest version of yourself.

IT IS YOUR choice to express in this life in your highest potential.

You will need ALL OF YOU to be that.

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What is the thing you don’t seem to get?

It could be something intimate.

A sexual pleasure.

An intimacy with your body (sexual or none-sexual).

A romantic partner who really gets you.

A parent’s love.

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It could be something outwardly.

A dream job.

A raise.

A change of life for the better.

A sound sleep.

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It could be the only thing that’s in the way IS YOU.

(Honey, I am really sorry to break this to you.

But if it’s only you, all is simple and straight forward this point onward.

Because there is only ONE thing you need take care of instead of millions of efforts.)

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Be love and be loved.

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? Are you ready to reclaim the parts of yourself you've unconsciously left behind? ?

What if the obstacles you face aren’t about capability, but about the parts of you that need to be seen, accepted, and integrated?

If something feels out of reach – whether it’s pleasure, love, success, or fulfillment – it may not be about doing more but about being more whole.

?? Let’s explore this together. If you feel called to dive deeper, I invite you to book a session with me. Let’s uncover what’s truly in the way – so you can move forward as your fullest, most radiant self.

?? [Book a Love. Discovery Call] or HIT REPLY “Whole” to start the conversation.

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Be love. Be loved. ??

Hi, I am Shuang-Min.