She Began to say "Nobody has ever taken an interest in me like this before.."

I wanted to write this today in recognition of #mentalhealthweek2019

This is something that effects so many people and whilst there are different aspects to this I cannot speak for the majority of people facing this daily. 

However I can share my experience within my own role working with the Muslim community. I come across individuals who have gone through a tough relationship/marriage, people who want a companion but are struggling to find a partner who understands them. Some feel exhausted due to exceptions from family and surrounding circles. 

I will provide an example of a time I truly recognised Mental Health and had the ability to help.

Going back some years ago, I once had the pleasure of speaking to such a kind woman, who had an incredible outlook on life, she was fun, bubbly and so easy to get on with. During my consultation process I began to ask her some questions to understand her a little better in order to match her correctly. We were laughing I could tell she was enjoying answering some of the questions, usually most are happy to discuss what they are looking so it felt normal. Her tone changed slightly and soon the laughter slowed. I noticed this after a few seconds and I asked if she was okay. It took her a while to say "nobody has ever asked me this much about myself." I waited as I was unsure what to say due to her tone, she began again to say "nobody has taken this much of an interest in me before, to understand what kind of partner I actually want."

As we spoke she explained how difficult it has been finding a partner after having came out of an terrible relationship. She talked about her circle of friends being settled and wanted the same for herself. Whilst I have had similar discussions with people before her, she was different, she seemed so content within life which then I realised wasn't how she really felt. She mentioned she had opened up to close friends however never wanted to speak negatively about herself. I stopped the consultation process and made an appointment with her a further 3 times that week just to discuss what was on her mind and let her have an open space to say what she felt. Having been in this role for 5+ years with experience before that, I felt I could advise her correctly in terms of looking for a partner.

After a short space of time she began to have meetings within my service as I advised she needed to experience a positive environment and meet a truly decent person with the correct intentions and morals. Alhumdullilah, she is now married and this isn't because of me but because Allah SWT brought her our way so we could help.

There are many people who within have their struggles, some may feel comfortable to share and some may not. What I would say is if you feel like you are alone or have nobody to turn to, please turn to Allah SWT first. He will guide you to the right place where everything happens when it is meant to. I am by no means saying that you should not seek professional advice, if you feel this you most defiantly should, but speaking to myself before anyone else, do not underestimate faith, it can bring someone into the light and give them hope that nobody else can.

I wish everyone the very best and by being kind to those around us we are already helping them without realising it.

Ramadan Mubarak

Nadia