She Was 5 Feet Tall... Yet In Our Eyes A Giant

Tribute to my mother

My mother left us for a better world a few days ago.?

SHE never set foot in a school yet everyone who ever came in contact with her even for a short encounter knew they were in front of a charismatic strong-willed leader.

I asked each of my 8 brothers and sisters for their best takeaway of how she led her 102 years and we came up with the below nine lessons in leadership:

When it was time to enroll the surgeon-to-be boy at school she did it secretly and made him swear to hide the matter for months. Education was ‘not for everyone' at that time -years before independence in Tunisia-, and only elite kids had that chance.?But our mom chinned up and believed her offspring deserved a chance.?

Lesson 1: You can only go as far as your belief. Didn’t William James, the Harvard psychologist tell us “Believe and your belief will create the fact?”Leaders first allow themselves to go there in their mind… and let the rest follow.

When the pressure from her in-laws about the worth of education became high, and some adverse voices that ‘we don’t send girls to school’ became too invasive and loud, she took us and run away to another place. Countless painful decisions she had to make and that only few could understand on the spur of the moment, but which made perfect sense and humongous impact on our lives later on.

Lesson 2: a leader makes decisions in the HERE and NOW.

When any one of us-her 9 kids- had to come home late from school in the evening, we had no doubt that our mom would be there at the pitch dark local bus station with her cane and her shawl draped on her head and shoulders to walk us home, chase away stray dogs and protect us from being bullied. My mom was 5 feet tall but in our eyes, she was a giant.

Lesson 3: Trust is priceless.?Leaders are an infinite source of strength and trust, and allow their people to draw strength from theirs.

When life would get tough on us, and we did not believe we could win, she was our rock and believed in us;

As kids, we had different dreams, and even though she had absolutely no evidence that it could be possible, she had that instinctive and natural pull to dream big with her small kids.

I never heard her say: ‘how are you going to do it?’ But always:” God will make a way”

Lesson 4: a leader is a visionary, a dream creator. They help themselves and others dream dreams but also know that they do not have to figure out the “HOW” but trust in something bigger than us to come to the rescue when we take that leap of faith.

When my mother ate, she taught us to never finish the plate and to never eat to full satiation, to always remember those who did not have enough to eat.

My mom would share the little things she had with everyone. Despite her young age, people would turn to her for advice, to borrow money and other stuff from our home till today. She lived a full, healthy centenarian life?And the last doctor who checked on her before she passed said she had the heart of 20-year-old girl. She wasn’t suffering from anything, she was just ready to go!

Lesson 5: a leader believes in paying it forward, in advancing by advancing and helping others.

Mom never held a grudge. When we made mistakes, she would be loud and hard on us up front and push us to learn the lesson but?then would circle back with unconditional love and support in every shape and form. Her Big forgiving heart played a key role in her life. Despite the huge blows life had at stake for her, she was always in gratitude and appreciation and alhamdulillah was always on her tongue. We saw our life transform and change in ways and means we thought would only be possible in fairy tale movies.

Lesson 6: appreciation is indeed the master key to manifestation and my mom as a leader intuitively found this secret and drew on it extensively.

While she taught us -especially her daughters- to make lemonade when life gives us lemons, she also made sure we appreciate ourselves enough to always set our standards high and to show up at our best.?I, for one shudder, when I remember the frown she tries to hide when I am not at my best. I do not know how and why I instantly remember the “Stand up and fight” song of the 80s when mom comes to mind.

Lesson 7: leaders always show up at their best.

At one point we thought our mom was OCD with time. She was not only an early riser but also so punctual and so careful about the use of time she would drive the most disciplined?crazy. I can guarantee you You can show up any day of the year at 4:30 pm and she will be drinking her afternoon coffee with sweets surrounded by some neighbors or later on her daughters and grandkids.?

Lesson 8: leaders appreciate their morning time, have a deep respect for time, and observe strict rituals in their life. She cracked the code: good habits make good lives.

This one is a biggie: our mom was your everlasting learner par excellence. When TV came along in the 60s she was among the first to have it in the neighborhood. When landlines arrived, she did too and learned to read and write numbers to be able to dial them, and when mobiles made their debut, she wanted the phone ‘in her pocket.’?

Anecdotally, days before her passing she said she was ready for an upgrade and asked me for the phone that ‘swipes’ -i.e. a smartphone:)- and that she was ready for the learning that has to come with it.?

Lesson 9: Great leaders are always open to trying out new things and embrace new technologies. Life is a constant process of unlearning old ways and relearning new ones.

In a nutshell, my mom lived every single moment of her life ‘by choice’and refused to live the "by default" setting that was prepared for her and never settled.

These were indeed the 9 leadership lessons that my mom learned from the school of life and that she so wisely imparted us with for life.

God Bless You, Mother.???? ???? ???? ???? ?? ???