Shattering the Guilt: Self-Care Isn't a Luxury, It's Your Superpower (Day 2)

"I feel like a terrible mom because I'm not there for my kids as much as I should be."

This powerful statement resonates with countless working mothers burdened by the weight of guilt when they prioritise self-care. But what if I told you self-care isn't a luxury, it's your superpower?

Welcome back to Day 2 of "More Than a Mother: Celebrating the Woman Behind Motherhood (IWD Series)". Yesterday, we began to unravel the 'too busy' myth that so often shackles us in our pursuit of a healthier lifestyle. Today, we tackle the emotional hurdle that often holds us back: guilt.

Do you ever find yourself riddled with guilt for prioritising your well-being? Join us as we explore:

• Why self-care is essential for thriving, working mothers, not selfish.
• How to shatter the guilt and embrace self-care as a tool for strength.
• Real-life stories of working mothers who conquered guilt and found balance.

Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. By prioritising your well-being, you become a better mother, a better professional, and a happier individual.

Ready to unlock your inner self-care superhero? Let's dive in!

How Sarah Rewrote Her "Mum-Guilt" Story

In a previous article - "Unlock the Power of Self-Care: How One Overwhelmed Mum Found Balance and Energy" - I introduced you to one of my clients, Sarah. Sarah was a hardworking medical professional and single parent of two school-aged children. Due to her demanding job and variable work hours, she often had to leave her children in the care of family or a babysitter.

Riddled with guilt, Sarah lamented, “I feel like I’m a terrible mum because I’m not there for my kids as much as I should be”. She compared herself to other parents who did regular school pickups and volunteered for class activities and excursions. To compensate, she had fluid bedtime boundaries and jam-packed the weekend with activities to make up for her weekday absence. By the end of the week, Sarah was physically exhausted from running around and emotionally drained from constantly berating herself as a result of the shame and guilt.

By the time Sarah saw me, she was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted from trying to be the perfect parent. She was barely sleeping and stress-eating to cope. She was drained and ashamed - “I dread the weekend because I have to spend it with my kids. They exhaust me,” she blurted out one day. Although Sarah had childcare support, she didn't have time for self-care. She was suffering from parental burnout.

Despite the stress and exhaustion, Sarah continued to push her needs aside, believing it was 'selfish' to put herself before her children or work commitments. As a result, her constant sacrifices and disregard for her needs started to take a toll on her health. She became irritable and even resentful of her kids. The paradox here is that the more she neglected her self-care, the less she was able to be present and give to her family and her work.

Does any part of Sarah’s story resonate with you?

If it does, I want to tell you the truth about something. Sarah's story resonates with many women. We often neglect our needs, believing self-care is selfish. But the truth is, self-care is essential, not a selfish indulgence. When we nourish ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally, we become better equipped to show up as the best versions of ourselves in all areas of life – at home with our family, at work and in our community.

When Sarah and I began working together, we first focused on reshaping her perception of self-care. We gradually replaced the chorus of guilt with a new mantra: "Self-care isn't selfish; it's a necessity". As she made small, sustainable 5-10 minute changes to her routine - an evening reading ritual here, an evening walk there - she started to notice a significant difference. She was more energised, more patient, and more present for her family and her work.

Over time, Sarah also realised that by taking care of herself, she was also taking care of her family in the best possible way. She was teaching her children an important life lesson - the value of self-love and self-care.

What Happens When You Overcome the Self-Care Guilt?

If you're reading this and feeling the same guilt Sarah once did, pause and take a deep breath:

Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Taking care of yourself is not about neglecting your responsibilities; it's about empowering yourself to fulfil them more effectively.? Just like Sarah, when you make time for regular self-care,? you’ll discover its profound impact: increased energy, patience, and overall well-being, not just for yourself but also for her children and her work.

Coming Up Next!

Tomorrow, we'll tackle another common hurdle – overcoming the lack of motivation. But for today, let's commit to breaking free from the shackles of guilt and prioritise our well-being. It's time to rewrite the mum-guilt script and realise that taking care of ourselves isn't selfish; it's an act of love and a necessity for a thriving life.

Let’s continue on this journey as we explore more? practical strategies and inspiring stories to help you embrace self-care and rediscover the amazing woman you are beyond the title "mother."

Until next time, remember:

"Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential."

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• Together, let's create a life filled with health, happiness, and fulfilment.

It’s time to Make Your Success Healthy and Happy!

Dr. Masi

Founder & CEO, HERSELF HEALTH | Burnout Prevention & Executive Health Coach | Specialising in Corporate Health & Well-Being for Leaders & Their Teams

Disclaimer: The content in this newsletter and related LinkedIn posts is for informational purposes only and not medical advice. Views expressed are those of Dr. Masi Njawaya and Herself Health and not any official organisation. Consult a healthcare professional for personalised advice. Use this information at your own risk.