Sharing Space: Leadership Lessons from the Stars

I recently read Sharing Space: An Astronaut’s Guide to Mission, Wonder, and Making Change, a memoir by astronaut Cady Coleman, PhD . The book brims with lessons in leadership and resilience, and here are three that resonate deeply with me.

Being Effective Is More Important Than Being Right

Growing up as a girl with a passion for STEM, Cady Coleman was no stranger to being underestimated. Even after graduating from MIT and earning a PhD in Chemistry, she faced skepticism about her capabilities due to her gender. This experience is all too familiar to many women in technology (myself included) and other minorities in underrepresented fields.

Instead of dwelling on prejudiced comments—often stemming from ignorance rather than malice—Cady advocates for picking battles carefully to conserve energy for what truly matters. She emphasizes embracing underestimation, viewing it not as a limitation but as an opportunity. Other people’s opinions are just one data point; they don’t define us. By leveraging self-doubt to prepare more thoroughly and exceed expectations, we can turn challenges into triumphs.

Cady also shared how she explored different ways to win the trust and respect of a fellow astronaut, who initially took a passive-aggressive approach due to his inexperience working with women. Very often, resistance isn’t personal—it’s rooted in others’ inability to see the future we envision. To bridge this gap, focus on substance over style: you don’t have to agree on everything to trust each other. By prioritizing the common mission, we can build strong teams across personalities, beliefs, and cultures.

Play by the Rules to Change the Rules

In the 1990s, NASA removed size small spacesuits from the International Space Station (ISS) to cut costs, effectively disqualifying eight women astronauts from ISS missions. For Cady, who was already considered disadvantaged due to her petite stature, complaining wasn’t an option—any protest risked reinforcing the belief that she couldn’t handle the job. Instead, she focused on making the size medium suit work in the arduous spacewalk training. Through creativity and perseverance, she ultimately served in two ISS missions, accumulating 180 days in space.

As she proved herself in these challenging roles, Cady began to speak up about the years she endured ill-fitting equipment and the flawed assumptions in astronaut selection processes. Her advocacy, alongside that of other women astronauts, led to NASA redesigning spacesuits and training programs to accommodate the diversity of astronauts.

When faced with injustice, Cady’s approach reminds us that sometimes we need to play by the rules to secure our footing. By proving our competence and gathering data for our points, we earn the credibility to advocate for systemic change. The key is knowing when to accept an unfair situation and when to press for transformation. It’s not about surrendering; it’s about strategically navigating challenges to pave the way for those who follow.

Embrace Work-Life Imbalance

Cady and her husband managed a bi-coastal family life for decades, with their son alternating between Massachusetts and Texas. As a working mom, she faced the constant tension of juggling family and career, but she reframed the struggle with a few guiding principles.

First, focus on the functions rather than the forms of family. Working mothers today often bear a heavier childcare load than stay-at-home moms of the 1950s, all while maintaining full-time careers. Cady’s example underscores the importance of defining what works for your family rather than conforming to others’ expectations. Pursue what’s meaningful without clinging to unrealistic ideals of balance or perfection.

Second, recognize and embrace your strengths and weaknesses. Be proud of your strengths: know how they contribute to mission-critical areas. Be compassionate toward your weaknesses: work on them so they aren’t liabilities, but accept that you won’t excel in every area. For instance, Cady, who isn’t naturally organized, relied on her family to help her pack and her ground crew to manage administrative tasks.

By consolidating competitiveness into effectiveness, making changes strategically, and defining our own metrics for work-life integration, we can create space for ourselves and others. Cady’s insights remind us that leadership isn’t just about achieving personal success—it’s about creating an environment where others can thrive. Like a space station orbiting Earth, our communities depend on shared effort and mutual support. When we create space for ourselves, we empower others to do the same. Together, we can achieve missions that are far greater than any individual’s aspirations.