Sharing joy.

This has been a year filled with lots of big and loud and messy feels…

I spent the first 6 months feeling a bit untethered after retiring from Ophelia’s Place and Cafe at 407. I wasn’t quite ready to dig into consulting or write the book, A Cafe With a Cause, (although I did outline the chapters).

And yet, I believed I was 100% prepared to retire from Ophelia’s Place and the cafe. I began that transition years prior (many, many years prior, actually) with the help of my mentors, my advice goddess, the work of Susan Kenny Stevens, of the Nonprofit Lifecycles Institute, along with support from The Gifford Foundation, who funded a consultant to work with me and my board towards my exit strategy.

So why did I feel untethered? What I didn’t anticipate, was the sense of loss and grief I would experience -not from the work or the burden and responsibility it takes to run a nonprofit, but from the disconnect from my community of 20 + years. I knew that in order for this transition to be successful, I needed to remove myself from that community (at least for a time), so that my daughter could fully step into her role as the leader and visionary of the organization. However, I was not prepared for all that I would feel during that time. I felt like I had abandoned my community and as a result… I felt lost. It was like I was drifting away from the shoreline all alone. My world had drastically changed, but the worlds of those around me hadn’t and it wasn’t their responsibility to tether me back to the shoreline.

There is no reason to constantly attempt to figure everything out.

I spent the better part of 2023 trying to do just that, figure things out. Why didn’t I better prepare for such a major life transition? How do I find a new community, and did I really want to? Am I too old to make new friends? Why are we not talking about this in the world of nonprofits? Am I alone in this, or is it part of the conversation nonprofits need to be having with founders and longtime executive directors? I don’t have the answers, I just know we need to be asking the questions.

Maybe I wasn’t supposed to have this figured out. Maybe I just needed to feel the loss and allow myself to drift for awhile. And looking back, I guess that’s what I did - amidst heaps of tears, days of wandering, and perfecting my sourdough english muffins.

I’m grateful for the space that this past year has offered me without burden and responsibility. I’m grateful for my husband, who held me through some pretty lonesome times. He never lost sight of me, never let me run out of tissues and never told me to just “get over it”.

I’m grateful to my daughter who is leading this organization not only with courage, clarity and compassion for the work, but with a vision for the future of it. I’m honored to have been asked to volunteer for their end of year Donor Drive on November 2nd. Yes… some things never change and this is shameless plug for that, so mark your calendars and don’t even think of blocking my call.

Finally, I’m grateful to have found joy by sharing joy through my latest adventure The Cottage Baker, where you’ll find me most days… in a cloud of flour.

With joy,

MaryEllen