Lunch at Willie Mae's - A Lesson in Allyship

**This is an original piece written by Precious Norman-Walton, CPCU, TRIP, AIC, AINS, AIS, ACS, shared to my profile as part of #ShareTheMicInsurance - an initiative launched to amplify Black voices throughout the insurance industry**

Lunch at Willie Mae's - A Lesson In Allyship

As my 40th birthday approached in 2019, I was conflicted on how I wanted to celebrate. Would I go on a fancy dinner date with my husband? Host a gathering with friends and family? But, in true Insurance Nerds fashion, I was given the opportunity to host the DFW book signing for Rob Galbraith's "The End of Insurance as We Know It" and jumped on it. Why not celebrate a milestone birthday with a once in a lifetime opportunity? It was late June, and the date fell on a Friday, so we knew we would be competing with summertime weekend activity. The turnout was lower than expected, but allowed for more intimate, and in depth dialogue with the author. One of the attendees was a member of the Dallas Chapter CPCU Society, of which I was the President Elect. His name is Matthew Maxwell. We got a chance to chat during the book signing event, and discovered many things that we had in common. He had recently completed his CPCU designation, and we talked about the upcoming Annual Meeting, at which his accomplishment would be celebrated.

While I have been an active part of the Dallas Chapter for a couple of years, and attended multiple events, I had not been to an Annual Meeting. So, I decided that I would look into attending to celebrate and support Matthew, and the other Dallas Chapter New Designees. About a month later, our Board of Directors supported my attendance, and we were making plans to go to New Orleans, Louisiana!

New Orleans, LA is the city in which I attended college back in the late 90s, so it's a very familiar setting. My newest friend, Matt, had never been, but was looking forward to taking in all of the sights, sounds and tastes the city had to offer. I agreed to help him navigate the city, as well as make introductions to the CPCU Society on a National Level. Immediately upon arriving, we connected with Tony Ca?as, who is a staple at any CPCU event. We were able to take a selfie with Peter Miller, President and CEO of The Institutes. During the endless stream of meeting and greeting, we made sure to seek out and connect with our LinkedIn connections, and other industry rock stars who were in attendance. For me, a connection I insisted on making was with Amy Waninger.

I briefly met Amy at a prior event, but after following her content, (and, at the insistence of several of my board members), arranged for a sit down with her after one of the dinner receptions. We chatted about our insurance industry stories, and I was immediately impressed by her passion, and compassion. I knew that she would be an amazing resource, and equally as important, a great friend.

Throughout our visit to New Orleans, Matt was given a rare glimpse of what it takes to walk a mile in my shoes. I discussed with him the issues and pressures that come with all of the roles that I fill. As a woman, and a Black woman, navigating spaces which are typically occupied by White Men is a challenge. Being mindful of my tone, so that I don't appear to be overly emotional, and accused of being unfit to lead. Maintaining a professional aura at all times so that I am not perceived as being too relaxed, or not taking the role seriously. And, avoiding the label of "Angry Black Woman" at all costs. During our down time, I walked Matt through the issues with gender inequality as it pertains to pay, the health care dilemma that Black Woman face, and a dozen other pain points that come with the territory. Matt, as a white male, was very much unaware of these issues, and his surprise and pain showed on his face as he listened to the things that Black Women must contend with. He also got to witness the behavior known as "Code Switching", in which my vernacular changes according to my audience. Another survival tool as a Black Woman in Corporate America.

As the Annual Meeting came to a close, both Amy and Matt agreed to join me for lunch at one of the most fantastic Fried Chicken establishments in the City of New Orleans - Willie Mae's Scotch House. We were seated and greeted, placed our orders, and admired the ambiance of this old fashioned restaurant. It was at this table that I truly experienced allyship in it's purest form. Matt and I recapped many of our conversations for Amy, and she listened intently. Some of these concerns she was aware of, but hearing it from my perspective resonated with her in a new way. As I shared my stories, and opened up to some of the deeper pain, abuse, frustrations, and challenges, at one point, tears breached my eyes, and began to flow. At that table, I cried out the pain of 40 years of challenges and struggles. And, I was heard. I wasn't judged. They didn't attempt to explain or justify. They allowed me to take of my mask of perfection, and just cry.

We finished our meals, and it was time to head to the airport. But, something special happened at that table. And I will be forever grateful for it. Amy and Matthew showed me that being an ally is more than a photo op, or a hashtag. They showed up for me before it became the popular or "in" thing to do. They both asked me what they could do to make things better, and I explained to them that the first step comes with acknowledgment.

I hope as we move forward from where we are today, while the protests still continue, and book clubs read about the Black experience from an abstract perspective, that we realize that it will take more than just a post, or hashtag to drive actual and lasting changes.