Shard #2 Feeling like a Fake

I was 21 years old, a new graduate in Switzerland and I was confident. Looking back, I am so grateful I did not harm anyone with my over-confidence as a nurse. Now, several decades along, it seems as if the more experience I have the more I feel like a fake. Imposter syndrome has taken hold. I look around and many of my colleagues are struggling with these same feelings of being inadequate, questioning if we should be doing this role, how on earth did we land this job, and feeling we will never be like ‘them’, whoever ‘they’ may be.

For me it started on my first day at university as a mature-aged student, sitting in a lecture theatre with peers who could have been my children, all of them on an electronic device, and me using a notebook and pen. What on earth was I doing here?

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Put 'imposter syndrome' into your search engine and you get over 23 million results in 0.37 seconds. Many of which are not very helpful and can lead to further doubts. STATPEARLS manages to make this phenomenon sound like a disease. What I found interesting is, that even the most successful colleagues state that they experience self-doubt and ask themselves, ‘How did I get here?’ It appears though, that women are more open to sharing these insecurities than men are, which then leads to the perception that women experience imposter syndrome in greater numbers. Feeling like a fraud and thinking that any moment we will be found out can lead to working harder. We often tend to fixate on small mistakes we have made, and we cannot accept praise and brush off or minimise our achievements.

Imposter Syndrome can be good for you?

Really? How can the symptoms of imposter syndrome be helpful? It is about not being good enough, so how can that be good?

Basima Tewfik has researched the unexpected benefits of this syndrome:

It is reassuring to hear that feeling inadequate ‘can be a motivator’, and ‘it can improve interpersonal performance at work’, such as being a good team player, collegial, cooperative, and supportive of others. Now I hope I have always been a team player anyway, but I can see that by recognising that I am not perfect and that I have a long way to go, I am motivated to learn and grow with others. As corny as it sounds, the more I learn and the older I am the more I realise how little I know.

And what about ‘fake it till you make it?' I confess I have used this phrase during my nursing career, but I can see how unsafe it can be in our profession. It also feeds the feeling of being a fake. So, being authentic is the pathway I consciously choose. Especially, as it has proven to lead to better therapeutic communication skills in clinical practice.

What matters!

I have had many new beginnings in my professional life, and many diverse new jobs and roles. The move into academia was a big step, and I genuinely felt (and still feel) like an imposter. One comment though from the past Head of School who interviewed and employed me, really resonated and has stuck with me. She said, ‘Do not thank me, you are here on merit.' This simple statement changed my outlook and gave me enough confidence to feel that I just might be able to do this 'gig', PhD and all.

So, I will claim and celebrate my wins and successes, collect my ‘esteem’ feedback and praise (this is for another Shard down the track, thank you John Rosenberg ), continue to develop a positive growth mindset and lift others up. I hope you will join me, wherever you are #NursesNurtureTheirYoung (and young at heart).

Suzanne The Shard Nurse

#NursesWhereYouNeedThem #NursesNurtureTheirYoung #TheShardNurse

Check this out:

If you want to read more about Tewfik’s research, here is an interview and the journal article presenting the research project:

Harvard Business Review Magazine (May-June 2022)

Basima A. Tewfik, Academy of Management Journal, 2022

I would love to hear about your own journey, so share your doubts, share your wins, and let us create a community of care and celebration #The Shard Nurse/s.

If you have missed my first blog, check out why it is The Shard Nurse