Shanghai.

Her: “Wait, so dates are usually romantic?!” ??

Me, sighing and grinning, knowing the brutality I am about to receive from the world: “Well, it depends on the context. But I asked you if you wanted to go on a date, and it’s just me and you having dinner at night, this might be considered romantic”. ??

I’m prepared for the inevitable verbal obliteration, and she doesn’t disappoint.

Her: “So you didn’t mean this date in a friend sense today?”

Me, now fully grinning: “Absolutely not, I meant this as a romantic thing. I’m totally happy to be friends, but I said this because I wanted to get to know more in a potentially romantic way.”

Her: “Woooooooow ?? Are you okay? I feel like this might be embarrassing” ??

Me laughing: “Yes, it is. But I’m okay with this kind of thing. That’s life sometimes ??”

I then very slowly walked her through my thought process, reassured her that I liked her in a romantic sense, and what that meant to me. And told her that there were zero expectations, and that it was all okay.

Ohhhhhh fuck ????♂?

And that was my evening guys ????♂? just brutal. Had a lovely evening, all the same. But damn it, I was so clear, so damn clear.

Bollocks ?? it was funny, but for god’s sake ????♂?????♂?????♂?

Anywayyyyy, fewwwww things have changed.?

Despite my desperate urge to evacuate out of this dreaded job, I ain’t doing so. I’ll tell ya why now.

It’s quite a situation of extremes, here. There’s nothing “okay” anywhere here.

Went to Shanghai this weekend (where I hung out with the aforementioned girl), and it was surreal to say the least. In a Didi with a woman from Texas, and a South African woman on my way towards this restaurant in the middle of Shanghai. So many shocking things I saw.

Brand new sex toy in the wardrobe in the hotel. Sure, I’ll find a use for it at some point ??

The train was uhhhh, like a real bullet train. None of this 243km an hour nonsense. I think we hit 300kmh. Really comfy giant seats too. In China Business class is better than first class, so it’s the opposite of airlines. We didn’t do business, but they look as awesome as hell.

There was this time when we were in a Didi premier. Like a fancy Uber. Um, and… y’know there are sometimes cameras on the back or even the front of the car? This had… this is gonna sound strange, but it was like a bird's eye scanner, almost as if there was a drone like 10 metres above. It showed everything around the car in real time. I can’t fathom how it would work. Is the outside just covered in loads of high tech scanners?

There’s a lot going on in Shanghai man. When we were in the taxi, we were elevated above the ground and driving along, and it’s just wall to wall bright lights and skyscrapers, absolutely endlessly. Like the biggest flashiest buildings from every decade in the last 150 years, all side by side. And driving… through them. The definition of concrete jungle. Judge dread, blade runner, and minority report, all rolled into New york and London smushed together. But Chinese.

Even more cosplayers. I didn’t realise this time, I thought they were wearing awesome traditional outfits, maybe going to a wedding. But I guess they were just all wearing the same style of clothing from some anime show or something ?? I know vampire / demon schoolgirls aren’t a traditional thing from centuries ago, but these clothes really looked traditional. So cool that people dress like that.

Went to a challenge room. Thought it was gonna be an escape room, but it was like a thing where you had to jump a lot. It was pretty fun actually.

Went to an art gallery kinda thing? It was by Epson, the printer people? Loads of interactive art, and hidden rooms. As soon as I saw the sign saying there are hidden rooms I went off to find them. That was cool. Go through a fake wall, and it’s like floor and ceiling mirrors and thousands of lights. As close as you could get to doing psychedelics without doing psychedelics.

So the sex toy, the car scanner thing… ah yes. Went to the Bund, and there were signs saying I love Shanghai, but they abbreviated it to I ?? SH. I considered this a great omen.

(My initials, doofus).?

We’re just outside the South African restaurant, and opposite was this skyscraper (surprise surprise) and it was just covered in beautiful artwork. Like digitally I mean. Just like 20 stories of “really pretty”. Right next to it was the most unforgettable part. They’re doing a giant extension to this mall, and it looks so alien and cool. In the night, seeing only part of it, it’s like…. a ginormous pyramid, wayyyyyyyy bigger than Chichen Itza, with these massive plant bowls on different parts. Like an Aztec giant’s house. I was looking at it like, is this what Babylon looked like? Just weird and so cool.

Inside the restaurant there were some older Chinese guys and it was all cool, most of them left. I actually thought they all did until I heard a crash behind me. The dude was totally drunk inside this ultra posh place. He staggers over to an empty table and spits on it, then he comes over and is just staring at all of us. Owner chucked him out, and it was cool to see how that was handled here on the Red Planet.

To apologise he gave us all a shot called a springbok. I gave mine to the birthday guy.

There were some people who looked like celebrities in the corner, with giant sunglasses on and wild clothes.

And it was all um… yeah, it was amazing. Walking along the Bund, seeing all of these wine cellars and private restaurants, endless art galleries and secret places. I’ve been in big cities before, Mexico City doesn’t FEEL so big though. Delhi feels nuts and chaotic, but it doesn’t feel ginormous. I’d say Shanghai feels vast and tremendous.

I know the Shanghai Tower is one of the biggest buildings in the world, but when you can’t even see the top because it’s above the damn clouds, it leaves you a little stunned.

Ohhh yeah, so on the way back, we’re talking about the trains. And she says they are building faster trains. Oh really? Yeah. They’ll go much faster. How much faster?

Eight hundred kilometres per hour ?? that’s like twice as fast as this ultra fast bullet train. Must take a long time to do something like that, right?

Pfffff ?? It’ll be finished in months. What is going on here. People just don’t know man, that’s all I can say. My friend said that outside our complex, there was a new restaurant being developed on our street on Thursday, and she joked it’d probably be open by now.

We came back. Today is opening day ??

So anyway, why am I staying? I’ve finally got a big group of really, really nice and supportive friends. I’m willing to eat crap for that.

Second reason: going on a date with that GORGEOUS girl. Like, just sublime.

So I’m like you know what? Who cares. Cry over the job during lunch time, whine and complain, but have fun with your nice friends and eat yummy food. You’ll probably live.