Shame vs. Guilt cultural Reflection from film [MASS]

During a recent business trip, I watched the film MASS on a flight, and it left an unforgettable impression on me. Directed by Fran Kranz in his debut effort, this film delves into a deeply emotional topic inspired by the tragic 2018 Parkland high school shooting in Florida. The story revolves around a meeting between the parents of the shooter and the parents of the victims.

The title MASS itself is layered with meaning, referring to both the "mass shooting" and the Christian "mass," as the story unfolds in a church setting. It portrays a profound attempt at healing, where those left in the aftermath come together for a painful yet transformative dialogue.

Key Themes of the Movie

The story brings together two sets of parents—Linda and Richard, the shooter Hayden’s parents, and Gail and Jay, the parents of Evan, one of the victims. After six years of grieving and anger, they confront each other in a tense, emotional conversation.

As an interculturalist, I was struck by how this interaction reflects stark differences between Western and Eastern cultural responses to guilt and shame, particularly in the context of tragedy and accountability.

Shame Culture: Eastern Perspective

In cultures rooted in shame (often seen in Asia), relationships and collective identity are paramount. A person’s actions are perceived as an extension of their family or social unit. For example, in Korea, if a child commits a crime, the parents often publicly apologize, accepting moral responsibility.

One notable example of shame culture at work was the infamous "nut rage" incident in Korea. In 2014, Cho Hyun-ah, a Korean Air executive and daughter of chairman Cho Yang-ho, demanded that a flight return to the gate at New York’s JFK airport because a flight attendant served her macadamia nuts in a packet rather than on a plate. This display of entitlement caused widespread outrage in Korea and internationally, as it was seen as an abuse of power and a reflection of poor upbringing. In response, her father, Cho Yang-ho, the chairman of Korean Air, made a public apology on behalf of his daughter. He bowed deeply before the press, symbolizing the collective shame felt by the family. This act was not just a personal apology but a reflection of the broader cultural expectation that parents and family members take responsibility for the actions of their children, even when the children are grown up.

• Cultural Context: In a shame-oriented culture, this public apology was viewed as essential to restore the family’s honor and address the societal outrage. It underscored the idea that an individual’s actions are inseparably linked to their family and even their organization, highlighting the collective nature of responsibility in such cultures.
• Conflict Management: In such cultures, addressing wrongdoings often involves severing ties, symbolic gestures, or public shaming to preserve group harmony. Leaders might resign or be removed to shield the organization or family from further damage.

This film would be unimaginable in many Asian contexts, where a face-to-face meeting like the one depicted would evoke immediate submission or silence from the offender’s side. Expressing regret might involve bowing or kneeling, with no room for defending one’s intentions or discussing personal circumstances.

Guilt Culture: Western Perspective

In contrast, Western societies emphasize guilt, where accountability is seen as more individualistic. Relationships are acknowledged but are not the defining framework for understanding actions. Parents are often considered separate from their child’s choices, and societal responses focus on the individual who committed the crime.

• In MASS, the parents of the shooter share their pain, attempting to explain that they tried to raise a good child. This nuanced perspective is tolerated, even though it might provoke outrage in a shame-oriented culture.
• For instance, in the Virginia Tech shooting, the perpetrator's Korean heritage led many Koreans globally to issue apologies, embodying the shame culture. In the U.S., however, the focus remained on the shooter’s individual mental health struggles.

Cultural Insights from MASS

This stark juxtaposition of shame and guilt cultures is beautifully and painfully illustrated in the movie. The Western emphasis on dialogue and individual accountability fosters an environment where reconciliation, though challenging, is possible. In a Korean context, such a conversation might never occur, as relationships would have been severed to protect the dignity of the families involved.

The most striking aspect of MASS is the attempt at healing—where the parents confront their pain, recognize each other's humanity, and ultimately forgive. This is a powerful reflection of how cultural values influence the ways we process grief and accountability.

This movie challenges us to think beyond cultural norms, asking whether reconciliation is possible even in the most unimaginable circumstances. For me, it was a poignant reminder of how deeply our cultural frameworks shape the way we view relationships, justice, and healing.

#culture #shameculture #guiltculture #koreanbusiness #korean