No shame in taking a twisty path

A client came to me during a job search. Brilliant, highly creative, and a connector of ideas and people, she had so much to offer an employer—but she didn’t see it. What she saw, instead, was someone with an inconsistent job history who struggled to answer the question, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

And although she didn’t use the word, I sensed some shame about what she assumed recruiters and hiring managers would consider job-hopping. In her case, though, it had never been intentional. She wasn’t trying to climb a ladder or score a better title or higher salary.

She simply wanted to do work she found meaningful, that was aligned with her values, that used her skills and talents, and where she could continue to learn and grow.

I empathized deeply. I’d felt that way for a long time. I’d resigned from several jobs because of toxic managers or cultures, sometimes without having another job lined up. I’d also outgrown a few, where there was little opportunity to learn or expand my responsibilities, or where I realized that it wasn’t the work I wanted to do. And since I started my career in tech in the mid ‘90s, I’d been through more than my share of layoffs along the way. I had plenty of experience in the job-search trenches.

I knew what it felt like to be worried about my resume and how I might be perceived as a candidate—despite the awards I’d won and the recognition and promotions I’d earned. Like my client, I hadn’t been an intentional job-hopper, but until a few years ago—when having multiple jobs for a year or less become acceptable or even normalized—I did get some negative reactions from potential employers about my job history. I did feel shame for being different—for not fitting the “ideal” candidate profile.

What I know now that I wish I’d known then

?? Authenticity and values alignment are critical for perceptive, high-sensory folks. We’re wired this way. I’ve always admired (and envied!) people who could work 9-5 to pay the bills, leave the job behind physically and emotionally, and then focus on what they really care about, whether it be family and friends, their art or craft or sport, or a side hustle they’re passionate about. I can’t do that. I’m all in, whatever I’m doing, and can’t just switch it off. So if the work I’m spending all day on, five days a week, isn’t engaging me, or using my skills, or providing opportunities to learn and grow in ways that interest me, I’m out. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

?? Multipotentialites may need multiple outlets—or jobs—to feel satisfied. If you’re not familiar with the term, you’re not alone. If it describes you, though, you probably know it just by reading the word. In their 2015 TEDx talk, “Why Some of us Don't Have One True Calling” (link in the comments), Emilie Wapnick makes it ok for people with many gifts and interests to stop trying to squeeze themselves into little boxes.

Emilie’s talk resonated with me, in part because of work that I’d done shortly after college, at a national nonprofit called the Johnson O’Connor Research Foundation. The short version of what I learned in my two years there working with dozens of clients: The more innate abilities you have, the less satisfied you’ll be with work or hobbies that only use a couple of them. We have talents for a reason, and need to use them to feel fulfilled. And since it’s unlikely that a single 9-5 job will have the scope for this, multipotentialites have a few options:

• Work multiple jobs (sequentially or concurrently)
• Work one job and have a lot of hobbies
• Job-craft—either become self-employed or, if you’re very fortunate, find a company (or leader) that appreciates all you offer and lets you write your own job description

Each option has pros and cons, and I won’t go into them here—this is a great topic for coaching! In any case, there’s a lot to dig into and you need to decide what’s right for you.

?? The five-year question is meaningless. Think back five years ago—let’s use June 12, 2019, as an example. The world hadn’t yet heard of COVID-19. Most of us could never have imagined then the surrealness of daily life during a global pandemic. Many of us have forgotten much of it already, but think back to the early days. And then the years going by, while we lived in what felt like a bizarre sci-fi-inspired alternate reality.

How would you have responded if someone had asked you in June 2019 where you wanted to be in five years?

How relevant is that response now?

?? You own your narrative. I started working as an editor in junior high school. Being highly perceptive, I’m very attuned to details. And although I’m creative, my brain works pretty literally. For all these reasons and more, I assumed (for decades!) that my resume had to be an exact accounting of every job I ever held and what I did there.

This may sound controversial, but to be clear—I’m not in any way advocating making stuff up or lying on your resume. Neither of those is ok. And in my experience, high-sensory people are super-conscientious; we don’t make good liars to begin with.

All that said, your story is your story. Your resume is a form of PR. Tell it the way you want to tell it (as long as it’s true). Don’t want to include the ten weeks you worked for the insane boss before you couldn’t take it anymore and quit spontaneously? (Ask me over a drink ??) You don’t have to.

This is a complex topic all on its own, and I can’t cover it all here. But keep it in mind.

So how did things work out for my client? She ended up getting seven or eight interviews in a short time and received three job offers in the time we worked together. More importantly, as she learned more about how her brain worked and embraced her superpowers, she was able to shift her mindset and gain confidence in everything she had to offer the right employer.

?? ?I have room for a few more coaching clients and several options and packages to choose from to suit your goals, needs and busy schedule. Whether you’re looking for support through a job search, help strategizing around a long-term goal, or someone who’s there for you through all the challenges and celebrations that being a leader entails, the right coach can be an invaluable partner. Message me to schedule a chemistry call or use the link on my profile. ??

#highsensoryperception#hsp#healthyboundaries#preventingburnout?#leadingwithempathy?#neurodiversityatwork