Shall we stop trying to be nice?

Today is the official Spring Day. This period of time is the one for cherries blooming, and winter is reaching its end in several countries. I guess it will trigger quantities of full-hearted posts, dripping with good intentions syrup. And that is the reason why my series of posts "Shall We Stop Being Nice" will start today. Prepare your handkerchief, arm your personal development arsenal, and let's go!

Introduction

The concept of a peaceful mindset, simply put, "being nice," is often touted as the ideal in today's work world, with a focus on non-violent resolution of conflicts and cooperation between individuals. However, if we take a closer examination of history, we will see that an aggressive mindset has played a key role in many victories and successes, both at a national and personal level. From the Norman Conquest to the rise of Alexander the Great, the aggressive pursuit of power and territory has shaped the course of history. In this article, we will examine the real benefits of an aggressive mindset and compare them with the limitations of a peaceful one.

Being nice never led to conquests

Alexander the Great conquered the Persian Empire, expanding his kingdom of Macedonia into a vast empire reaching the Indus (in the modern Pakistan). This Empire was built through war. The Viking conducted raids in the 9th and 10th centuries and established settlements in conquered areas. One such settlement was in Normandy, where the Vikings eventually adopted the language and culture of the French and became the Normans; later on, they expanded their power and prestige, leading to the Norman Conquest of England in 1066. The United States of America have a long history of wars and military interventions both domestically and abroad. These conflicts have shaped the country's status as a world leader,. The US has also intervened militarily to reshape the World according to their ideology and protect their own interest. All along history, empires were built through conquest and agressive mindset.

This applies to business empires. Worldwide brands as well as GAFAMs conquered the world thanks to dirty economic wars: antitrust practices, monopolies, tax evasion, attacks on users' privacy, and exploitation of children and vulnerable populations are part of the "tactics" used to reach the top.

Peace is claimed to keep a status quo

The Emperor Ashoka, the third emperor of the Maurya dynasty, led numerous battles and eventually waged a war against Kalinga, which was one of the deadliest wars in the history of the continent. Similarly, Napoleon, who started as a French revolutionary, went on to become a dictatorial emperor and conquered vast territories. However, when he felt his power was wavering after being defeated in Leipzig in 1813, he offered "peace to the world".

Similarly, in the business world, after companies often engaged in cutthroat competition and got a leading position, when the power dynamics begin to shift and the threat of regulation or legal action looms, companies suddenly change their tune and offer concessions or make public promises as a strategic move to maintain their dominant position and avoid potential consequences: green washing, social washing...

Why are you told to be nice?

In companies, people are often told to be nice and engage in personal development in order to maintain the status quo and avoid disrupting the workplace. Happiness managers and workplace culture gurus promote this idea to ensure that employees remain compliant and focused on the company's goals. My issue with this approach is that by solely focusing on the company's goals, people neglect their own career development, which should be a top priority. Instead, people usually wait for performance appraisal to shyly ask for a career move, and hear that it is not possible now but maybe next year if they meet the increased "KPIs" when they should be fighting like hell on the right ground!

Take what you think you deserve or die trying!

When we discuss work-life balance, the conversation typically centers around balancing work and leisure time. But is your life solely comprised of leisure activities? Shouldn't your life include career strategy and planning, even if it involves using "dirty strategies," instead of just barbecues and yoga?

Companies are not family, and when they need to lay off employees, they will do so regardless of any previous claims to the contrary. CEOs may offer apologies on social media (or if they are a moron like Mark Zuckerberg, they will just put the blame on others), but the fact remains that you are still without a job!

Is being nice an efficient way to do business?

Being nice is just applying cowardise in the workplace

In my opinion, the "be nice" approach can stifle creativity and prevent individuals from speaking out against unfair or unjust practices. If you dare to do so in a company that promotes a "cool" culture, you may be accused of having an anti-corporate mindset or even being "toxic".

For me, it is just like the petty bourgeois who hate having noise in the neighborhood: they want nothing to change, they want everything to remain the same. They are "conservative" because they are those who take advantage of the situation. I have met so many of those people in corporations, waiting for the paycheck or retirement time and unwilling to face any "trouble". The Be Nice approach is the tool of Old-Petty-Bourgeois companies that want no competition externally or internally.

Those people or companies are becalmed. They are not "nice", they are scared. By the way, it often manifests as passive-aggressive behaviors: everything seems fine, people talk nicely, they may even share their quinoa salad with you, but the next day you may receive a shitstorm or get fired for no reason with no answer to your questions. Those people are supposedly "nice" but they stab you in the back instead of facing any dispute or conflict. They expect you to accept anything and shut up, otherwise you are "toxic"! Just look at what happened recently with Twitter and other big tech companies: people were fired by email or SMS received outside of their work hours. They could not even enter back their ex workplace. This is the maximum avoidance of conflict and of course, it is not "toxic"...

Personal Development and Be Nice stuff didn't help business

Since the rise of Gallup's (and followers') personal development bullshit, has the "Be Nice" approach led to better business outcomes for companies? A simple glance at the graph below answers the question. I haven't determined yet whether declining economies drive wellbeing and "Be Nice" gurus to conceal the downturn or if they genuinely believed that controlling people would help restore growth and failed. Nevertheless, the outcome remains the same.

Conclusion

Companies, especially those from declining economies, seek to maintain the status quo to avoid internal and external turmoil. They fear being questioned or challenged internally by rising free-thinking-leaders and, externally, try to prevent the rise of competition from newcomers in their market.

The "Be Nice" approach and personal development are tools that companies use to keep the lid on the pot. But, as an individual who wants to manage your career and not let it be managed by people preoccupied with their own goals, you need to break the consensus. Of course, you will need to do so only if you are looking for a career. If you are just looking for a routine job, then don't bother engaging yourself in a career conquest.

Conquering a career will mean that you will stop being nice at all costs and get ready to engage in disputes or even conflicts. Even if some marshmallow tender-hearted people consider you lacking in courtesy or kindness, and why not, will accuse you of being "toxic."

After all, there is no doubt that some people would have considered Ragnar Lodbrok or Genghis Khan as "toxic" in their time. But who remained in history: them or their lackeys?