The Shadow Side of Development & Gary John Bishop: Love Unfu*ked

WHAT'S INSPIRING ME

It’s easy to doubt that our environment will ever bounce back from the effects of long-term pollution. But there’s still hope if you’re paying attention: long-distance swimmer Ben Lecomte and his crew recently discovered a thriving ecosystem embedded in a garbage patch in the Pacific Ocean.??

Read the full article on designboom?here.

THE MARK DIVINE SHOW

Gary John Bishop on Building Better Relationships

Episode 361: Love Unfu*ked

This week on the podcast, I chatted with Gary John Bishop, humanist, podcaster and author of the new book,?Love Unfu*ked.?A hilarious Scotsman with a brilliant mind, Gary has built his own unique brand of no-nonsense urban philosophy. In this episode, Gary and I discuss the nature of relationships, how to just?be?as opposed to being a victim, and recognizing that you are your behavior rather than your thoughts.

Key Takeaways:

• Our relationships are our best and most potent opportunity to gain self awareness.?They grind to the surface everything we think we can get away with, including the shadow or “junk” parts of ourselves that we feel like we’ve already handled. Instead of defending your junk when it comes up in your relationship, see it as a lesson to understand and explore.
• Don’t be a triumphant victim.?A triumphant victim is someone who has overcome a terrible event, but still holds onto great anger about it. This only perpetuates their victimhood; it is only their resentment that keeps them stuck. When you just let go and let people off the hook for how things turned out, you finally free yourself from being the victim for good.
• The turning point in personal development is taking responsibility for how you show up in the world.?This requires great introspection and awareness of the nature of your own thoughts and the energy you put out in the world. You create your external world based on what’s going on inside you. And the energy you get back is always a direct reflection of what you’re putting out, so choose wisely!

Listen here.

WHAT I'M READING

Peak Mind,?Amishi P. Jha, PhD

Where is your focus right now – really? Chances are, it’s partially elsewhere. And you’re not alone; we’re all suffering from a massive “attention crisis.” But good news: there’s nothing wrong with you or your brain. In fact, your brain was built to be distractible.?And Dr. Jha posits that we can actually train our brains to pay attention more effectively.?

This is a great practical manual to help you take control of your attention and function at your peak for the things that really matter to you.

WHAT I'M WRITING ABOUT?THIS WEEK

The Shadow Side of Development

In my last post, I went over the five plateaus of human development. As you ascend through the five plateaus, it’s important to also look out for the shadow issues that, when unaddressed, can keep a person stuck in one particular plateau for years, or even a lifetime.?In this week’s piece, I discuss some examples of shadow issues that can stunt growth in each of the plateaus.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

— Sir Winston Churchill

PRACTICE OR HABIT TO TRY

Is there someone in your life you feel like you need to forgive? How much lighter could life feel for both of you if you let go of that resentment?

That’s all for now! See you next week.?

Hooyah!

Mark

P.S.?Age is just a number