Is there a shadow following you?

You're a coach and you witness this all of the time with your clients. There is so much potential. They are amazing humans, but they just can't see it in themselves. Old limiting beliefs and thoughts continuously creep in. Fear and self-doubt keep them from living their best life. Even in the face of evidence, they still resist. So I have a question for you. Might there be a shadow following you around that you can't see that is keeping you from having the coaching life you want?

What is your shadow self? It is a part of you that you cannot see. It is a side of your personality that contains the parts of you that you don’t want to admit to having. This shadow self isn't inherently dark or bad. It is just something that you have perceived and agreed is dark or weak so you keep it hidden. Because of your perceptions, it may also contain aspects of you that you have never explored that would be beneficial to you.

To be clear, this shadow self is sub-conscious. Everyone has a shadow self. For some, it is more sabotaging than others. When we look at our shadow selves and do the work to accept that part of our self, we are more balanced individuals and more capable of having the ability to take the actions and adopt the belief systems that are necessary for our dreams to be fulfilled.

If you find that you struggle with patterns that keep you from fulfilling your coaching dream, maybe an exploration into your shadow self will help you to uncover those elements that are keeping you in this stuck and unproductive pattern. Not only will your patterns be preventing you from your business goals, they will affect your entire life.

As is the case with your clients hiring a coach, therapist or other professional who can help you to see that part of yourself that your are incapable of seeing is invaluable. Being able to work through your shadow self alone can be next to impossible. If however, you want to give this a shot below are 2 methods to begin to identify your shadow self and integrate it into your life for the better:

1. Identify your triggers

The first step is to identify where your shadow resides is by acknowledging the situations and/or thoughts make you feel uncomfortable. When you have feelings of embarrassment, anger, panic, guilt or any other negative emotions, stop and take the time to explore the feeling. This action alone may help you to identify an element of your shadow self.

Ask questions. Why are you feeling this way? Write down everything you come up with in a journal. Do not censor your thoughts. It is important to be candid and willing to acknowledge your thoughts no matter what they are. Do not require anything to be logical or make sense at this time. That will come with your exploration. Once you have identified some of your triggers, you can begin to heal and accept them.

2. Find your recurring patterns that do not serve you

As with #1 above, record your recurring patterns that keep you stuck. Explore all of the feelings you have as you engage in the pattern. How do you feel about the pattern? What thoughts do you have that allows you to continue with the pattern? What beliefs are you carrying that allow you to keep repeating the same non productive actions over and over only to have them end in the same result as they have previously? When you have really explored your patterns, then spend time creating new and better ways to resolve these patterns so you are no longer taking the actions that are not serving you profoundly to produce the results you desire.

I want to emphasize that you must be compassionate, gentle, non-judgmental and accepting of yourself. Whether it is your perception of good or bad, this life is a journey. You have had many experiences and conditions that have been responsible for the mindset you have today. Some have served you well and some have been to your detriment. What is incredibly important for you to realize is that you have the ability to alter and change any negative thoughts, beliefs or emotions that are not of service to you. Isn't that extraordinary? The moment you make the commitment and resolve to do things differently your life will change.