Sexual Addiction: The Unspoken Addiction

Sexual addiction—or sexual dependency, hypersexuality, or nymphomania—is an extreme preoccupation with sexual thoughts, feelings, and/or behaviors that can lead to severe emotional and/or physical distress. If you or someone you know has an obsessive interest in sex that persists despite negative consequences and interferes with your daily life, then you may be experiencing the debilitating effects of sexual addiction. Here’s what you need to know about this quiet but debilitating condition…

Is It Really Possible To Be Addicted To Sex?

You’ve probably heard of drug or alcohol addiction. And maybe you’ve heard of sexual addiction, though it’s sometimes difficult to define what it is and who exactly qualifies as a sex addict. But there is a very real disorder called compulsive sexual behavior disorder that affects more than 200,000 people in America each year. Compulsive sexual behavior (CSB) was only recently added to the DSM-5 and many continue to struggle with its definition and repercussions. Is it really possible to be addicted to sex? And if so, how do you know if you are afflicted by CSB? While we don’t have all of those answers yet, we can help you understand what it means to be a sex addict and how you can get help for your addiction.

What Is Sexual Addiction?

In short, sexual addiction is an umbrella term for compulsive sexual behaviors that are damaging to one's self or others. It's not a diagnosable disorder in itself but rather a term used to describe patterns of behavior that include multiple activities. Underneath these broad categories, there are varying degrees of addiction (pornography addiction or prostitution addiction). In addition, there are specific sex addicts who focus their addictions on fetishes or BDSM activities. Mental disorders related to sexual addiction include paraphilias and impulse control disorders (see below). If you're wondering whether you have a problem with sex, check out our guide on behavioral addictions. And if you suspect someone else might be sexually addicted, learn more about how to help them here.

- Paraphilias: These are defined as recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving nonhuman objects, suffering, or humiliation/degradation. Examples include fetishism (sexual arousal from inanimate objects), exhibitionism (exposing one's genitals to strangers), voyeurism (watching others who are naked or having sex), and sadomasochism (taking pleasure in being hurt).

- Impulse control disorders: Examples include compulsive gambling, compulsive stealing, and compulsive shopping. Like sexual addiction, these can be characterized by a loss of control over an activity despite negative consequences.

- Sexual addiction is often co-occurring with other mental disorders such as depression and anxiety disorder; substance abuse problems; impulse control disorders; personality disorders; etc., so it's important to look for those if you suspect someone has a problem with sex.

How Can You Spot Someone Suffering From Sexual Addiction?

Mental health experts believe that sexual addiction is difficult to diagnose because it mimics compulsive behaviors that are more commonly associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you suspect someone you know may be suffering from sex addiction, look for signs of OCD.

It can manifest in other ways, too. Sexual addicts may exhibit signs of physical or emotional distress, compulsive spending, and even substance abuse. People with sexual addiction often experience confusion about their sexuality, bad relationships, and social anxiety. They may also have high-risk behaviors such as unprotected sex or having multiple partners at one time.

What Are The Symptoms and Signs Of Sex Addiction?

A variety of symptoms and signs can point to sexual addiction. According to Psychology Today, they include emotional emptiness, loneliness, anger, anxiety, depression, impulsivity, and interpersonal deficits. All things considered, sex addiction isn’t just a mental disorder—it’s also a chemical dependency on your partner(s).

When you lack a healthy relationship with self-esteem or intimacy with others for long periods of time and feel intense shame about it (after all, who could look at someone or something so important to them with love?), chemical changes occur in your brain that makes you more likely to seek out your next fix.

While sex addiction can take on many forms depending on how you practice it—according to Dr. Patrick Carnes, author of Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction—the most common types are sexual fantasy addiction, cybersex addiction, and compulsive masturbation. In fact, according to his research, an estimated 4 percent of men are sex addicts. If you’re struggling with any type of addiction—whether it be substance abuse or a behavioral one like gambling or food—there is help available through therapy and support groups such as Sex Addicts Anonymous.

Why Do People Develop Sex Addictions?

Sexual addiction is caused by a mental disorder called hypersexuality, which is characterized by an intense obsession with sex. One reason sexual addiction is so hard to discuss is that people have very different opinions about whether it should be considered a disease or a choice.

However, there are several similarities between drug addicts and sex addicts. All addicts lose control over their ability to manage life’s responsibilities, leaving them with little regard for future consequences. Addiction comes in many forms – alcoholics don’t want to be alcoholics but eventually lose control over how much they drink and continue drinking despite negative consequences like losing a job or being arrested for driving under the influence. And although some sex addicts may not believe they have a problem, these individuals often experience similar side effects as other addictions.

For example, some studies show that sexual addiction can lead to mental disorders such as depression and anxiety disorders. It also impacts family members of those suffering from addiction who must deal with behavioral changes including mood swings and lying. People who suffer from addiction often isolate themselves from loved ones in order to protect their secret behavior; however, that isolation only increases stress levels and makes recovery more difficult when it does occur.

Are There Special Treatments For This Disorder?

For most sexual addictions, there are no special treatments; most addicts are treated in outpatient settings by clinical therapists, psychologists, or counselors. Since sex addiction is a relatively new diagnosis and not a part of any official classification of mental disorders, there is little information about its treatment or recovery.

However, some general rules for drug and alcohol treatment may be applicable to sex addiction; for example, since many sex addicts also have problems with substance abuse, it's likely that treating both issues at once will improve chances of recovery. Sex addicts often find their road to recovery bumpy because they often lie to themselves and others about their activities. Many seek help only after getting caught or suffering other consequences such as divorce, losing custody of children, loss of job, or arrest. Because they don't believe their behavior is a problem until then, therapists need to work extra hard to convince them otherwise.

It can take months (or even years) before sex addicts realize that their lives are unmanageable and that something must change. Once convinced, though, therapy can begin in earnest—and it should include both individual sessions with a therapist as well as group sessions involving other recovering addicts who share similar experiences and struggles.

Prevention Is Better Than Cure

Unfortunately, sex addiction is a mental disorder that only recently gained enough attention to garner a formal diagnostic title. Today, professionals recognize sexual addiction as an impulse control disorder (ICD) alongside substance abuse disorders and compulsive gambling. That said, some experts believe that sex addiction should be considered a symptom of another underlying condition such as bipolar disorder or depression.

Further research needs to be done in order to establish proper treatment methods; however, if you suspect that you or someone you know may have an unhealthy obsession with sex, it’s best to seek medical help immediately rather than struggling with feelings of shame and guilt for too long. If your partner has been diagnosed with sex addiction, there are certain steps you can take to make sure your relationship doesn’t suffer.

Seek professional advice from a licensed therapist who specializes in treating addiction-related issues. Your partner will likely benefit from attending group therapy sessions with other addicts and their partners. Remember that recovering from sex addiction takes time—it isn’t something you get over overnight. Encourage your partner to stay on top of his recovery by continuing to provide love, support, and encouragement throughout his journey toward sobriety.