Sex Therapy: All You Need to Know

Each time I walk into my sex therapist's office, I am almost sure that my sexual dysfunctions will become a thing of yesterday. That wasn't so hard to say, after all.?

Yes, I have been going for sex therapy sessions for the last three months, and this investment is probably one of the best decisions I will ever make for my personal growth.

I know what you think; sex therapists are the most prominent scam artists. I was once in your shoes, imagining them shaping my life while their lives were not in order. But the fact is I could not enhance my sex life without those sessions.

I was not a messed-up being, but I wasn't in a good place. That's not something I would brag about on my first date. Today I am thankful for I feel immensely confident in my sex life, and overall health.

I know that you're already curious about what exactly sex therapy is, how it works, who it helps, and why it's more than just sex. Well, Let's open that book to feed your curiosity.

What is Sex Therapy?

Now, you might think sex therapy is all about steamy encounters and X-rated advice. It might involve discussing some intimate matters, but it's so much more than that!

Sex therapy is counseling designed to help individuals and couples facing all sorts of hurdles – medical, sexual dysfunctions, personal, psychological, interpersonal, or even that annoying neighbor impacting their sexual satisfaction.

Sexual dysfunction is common (see, I'm not alone, neither are you). We've all got our quirks and hiccups, and it turns out that many folks out there share some common ground.

Approximately 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men have danced with some form of sexual dysfunction in their lifetime.

The sexual dysfunctions include:

1. The famous erectile dysfunction – when Mr Happy won't achieve or maintain an erection.
2. Low libido – the fire of desire needs a little stoking.
3. Lack of interest – when the thought of sex doesn't exactly ignite excitement.
4. Premature ejaculation – the race to the finish line happens a bit too soon than you wanted.
5. Low confidence – that sneaky self-doubt unleashes in your mind when the action begins, affecting your mojo.
6. Lack of response to sexual stimulus – your body isn't quite dancing to the seductive tune.
7. Inability to reach orgasm – the grand finale keeps playing hide-and-seek.
8. Excessive libido – when the sexual desires go overdrive and you find yourself in perpetual arousal.
9. Inability to control sexual behavior – Oops, the impulse control button seems to be a bit wonky.
10. Unwanted sexual fetishes – your desires detour into the unexpected and unconventional.

You see, physical and emotional intimacy go hand in hand to give you a fulfilling sex life. But when sexual dysfunction crashes the dance floor achieving a good sex life becomes difficult. This is where sex therapy comes in.

Sex therapy sets out to help people overcome physical or emotional issues blocking their path to a satisfying relationship and pleasurable sex life.

Think of it as a journey to the land of sexual bliss, where you navigate through challenges and discover new ways to connect with yourself and your partner.

Types of Sex Therapy

Sex therapy encompasses various approaches and techniques to address individuals' and couples' unique needs and challenges. Here are some of the common types of sex therapy:

1. Psychosexual Therapy: This type of therapy focuses on the psychological and emotional aspects of sexuality. It involves exploring past experiences, traumas, beliefs, attitudes, and emotions related to sex to identify and address underlying issues affecting sexual functioning and satisfaction.
2. Couples Sex Therapy: As the name suggests, this form of sex therapy involves both partners. It aims to improve the couple's communication, emotional connection, and intimacy. Couples' sex therapy helps identify and address sexual issues within the context of the relationship.
3. Sensate Focus Therapy: This approach emphasizes non-demand touch and sensory pleasure. Couples engage in structured exercises designed to increase intimacy and reduce performance anxiety. It encourages partners to focus on the sensory aspects of touch rather than goal-oriented sex.
4. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Sex: CBT is a widely used therapeutic approach that can also be applied to sexual issues. It involves identifying and modifying negative thought patterns and behaviors contributing to sexual difficulties.
5. Systemic Sex Therapy: This type of therapy looks at the individual's sexual issues within the broader context of their relationships and family dynamics. It explores how the broader system may be impacting sexual functioning and satisfaction.
6. Body-Based Approaches: These therapies focus on connecting the mind and body to enhance sexual pleasure and intimacy. Techniques such as mindfulness, breathwork, and somatic experiencing may be used to help individuals and couples become more present during sexual experiences.
7. Sex Education and Coaching: Some forms of sex therapy involve providing education and coaching on sexual techniques, communication skills, and self-exploration to enhance sexual satisfaction and confidence.
8. Medical Sex Therapy: It addresses sexual issues on a medical or physiological basis. The therapy may involve collaboration with medical professionals to manage conditions affecting sexual function, such as erectile dysfunction or hormonal imbalances.
9. Trauma-Informed Sex Therapy: trauma counseling focuses on your specific needs and targets your traumatic symptoms, including depression, anxiety, guilt, flashbacks, sleep disturbances, or nightmares.

This approach is for individuals who have experienced sexual trauma and aims to provide a safe and supportive environment to help them overcome the impact of trauma on sexual health and relationships.

Note: different therapists may draw from multiple approaches or combine techniques based on the specific needs and goals of the individuals or couples they work with.

How Does Sex Therapy Work?

Sex therapy operates like any form of psychotherapy but with a twist. Here's how it typically works:

Initial Assessment

The process usually begins with an initial assessment. The therapist will ask questions to understand the individual's or couple's sexual history, experiences, concerns, and goals for therapy.

This assessment helps the therapist tailor the treatment to the client's specific needs.

Create Safe Space

Sex therapists create a safe, non-judgmental, and confidential space for clients to discuss their sexual challenges openly.

This safe space is essential for individuals or couples to feel comfortable exploring sensitive and intimate aspects of their lives.

Open Communication

Your therapist will guide the session with their unique style, setting the tone for a safe and supportive space.

They'll encourage you to share your thoughts and feelings, to unearth the roots of your issues.

Once the puzzle pieces start falling into place, your therapist will recognize the psychological block in your way – it's time for the journey to enter a new phase. The therapist gently guides you through this revelation, helping you explore the root.

This is also an opportunity for the potential client to have a feel for the therapist, who is likely to have an academic background in psychology.

Consider this stage a sneak peek, a chance to dip your toes into the therapeutic waters and get a taste of what lies ahead.

It's also an excellent opportunity to get to know the therapist. You'll discover that the therapist likely boasts an academic background in psychology and a wealth of knowledge and expertise in sex to support you on your journey.

Identifying and Exploring Sexual Issues

Together with the therapist, clients identify the sexual issues or challenges they are facing.

These could range from physical concerns (e.g., erectile dysfunction, pain during intercourse) to emotional issues (e.g., low desire, performance anxiety) or relationship dynamics impacting sexual satisfaction.

Sex therapy goes beyond the surface and delves into the psychological, emotional, and relational factors influencing sexual well-being.

Past experiences, beliefs, attitudes, and communication patterns can significantly affect sexual functioning and satisfaction.

Based on the identified issues and concerns, you will collaboratively set achievable and realistic goals for therapy.

These goals may include improving communication, increasing intimacy, addressing sexual dysfunctions, or enhancing overall sexual satisfaction.

Implementing Techniques and Strategies

Sex therapists employ various techniques and strategies to address the identified issues.

These may include communication exercises, sensate focus exercises, cognitive-behavioural interventions, and mindfulness techniques.

Home Assignments

Clients might be given homework assignments to practice the techniques learned in therapy. These assignments help reinforce new skills and behaviors outside of the therapy sessions.

For instance, if you're suffering from vaginismus – the vaginal muscles involuntarily tighten, making penetration challenging, your therapist will introduce you to vaginal dilators.

These are like gentle and tiny dildos but explicitly designed to aid vaginal relaxation.

The therapist will encourage you to use vaginal dilators two to three times weekly to overcome the physical discomfort associated with vaginismus.

Evaluation and Progress

As therapy progresses, the therapist evaluates your progress and adjusts the treatment plan as needed.

It's essential to monitor improvements and address any challenges that arise along the way.

Sex therapists are unbiased don't take sides or advocate for any particular person or viewpoint. Instead, they create a neutral and supportive space where all parties can express themselves freely and honestly.

And let's clear the air once and for all – during sex therapy, everyone keeps their clothes on! No hanky-panky, no funny business. Sex therapists are not there to engage in sexual activity with their clients or demonstrate physical intimacy techniques.

Their role is strictly to provide expert guidance, support, and education. They may discuss sexual techniques or exercises in a professional and educational context, but should NEVER engage in sexual activity with their clients.

?What to Expect From Therapy

As you approach the final therapy session, you will seriously discuss the journey ahead with your therapist.

Together, you'll weigh the possibilities and decide if continuing with therapy is the next best move.

If the decision is in favor of moving forward, the therapist will lay out a well-crafted treatment plan, tailored to the specific issue at hand.

Now, depending on the nature of your problem, and assuming there are no underlying trauma factors, the therapy journey might span between 8 to 12 weeks.

Who Needs Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a welcoming haven for anyone seeking assistance, regardless of age, background, or unique challenges.

It caters to many clients, from young and vibrant 20-year-olds to wise and experienced 70-year-olds.

Whether you're wrestling with a lack of desire, difficulty achieving orgasms, or navigating the complexities of highly religious beliefs and their impact on sexuality, sex therapy is here to lend a helping hand.