Seven years after giving up caffeine

It’s been seven years since I gave up caffeine.

That’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.

Too Much Coffee Man, my ideal superhero, once upon a time.

Ever since I went public with this story, people have been asking me about it, both in person and online. (The gist: I used to drink more caffeine than any human I’ve heard of, then I ended up dangerously ill, so went cold turkey. Here are the original posts: part 1, part 2.) I don’t normally write about health issues, especially my own, but I do want to address my readers’ interests. And those original posts are, weirdly, two of the most widely read things I’ve ever written.

One detail: when I cut myself off from caffeine I also gave up alcohol, spicy foods, and acidic foods (tomatoes and oranges, notably). I’ll set that aside for this post, but I can return to the topic if people like.

So what’s it like to live without caffeine in 2019?

tl:dr version – I just live well and work hard. Caffeine isn’t something that comes up, typically.

Usually I don’t experience cravings for caffeine. My muscle memory equates the smell and taste of coffee with horrific gut pain and worse, so I’ve been neatly conditioned on that aspect. I do miss the taste and weird appearance of Mountain Dew, but not with any great attachment. It’s a pleasant memory of a faraway, now inaccessible land.

One difference between then and now is that I don’t rely on caffeine for energy boosts. For example, I wake up differently than I used to. When I was a serious caffeine user, I used to struggle towards consciousness in a dark fog, deeply craving that first morning coffee shot. Thinking was sluggish and bleak. After each sip of brew my mind would gradually ascend to awareness. I could feel and almost hear alertness settle in. Now I usually wake up with a kind of calm clarity. Gone is the addict’s deep funk. Instead, I simply rise and go about my business. I don’t wake up buzzed, usually, but at a decent level of alertness. (I wrote “usually.” If I’m sleep deprived or ill, I wake up badly, like most people. If I get a lot of sleep, I rise happily.)

Mid-afternoon sleepiness hits me far less often. In my overcaffeinated days I would reliably get clobbered by drowsiness waves between 2 and 4 pm, badly enough to fall asleep, even when driving or sitting in meetings. My body needed emergency caffeine doses to keep going. That would include, for example, my second or third coffee pot of the day, or another liter of Mountain Dew. Nowadays my afternoons are pretty good. If I didn’t get enough sleep the night before and I work hard during the day I’ll experience an energy drop, which makes sense, but changing up my physical situation usually solves that (stretching, housework, walking around a bit, playing with kettlebells).

So now I move through the days without the help of caffeine. Usually I don’t notice it at all, to be honest. I can’t think of the last time I’ve thought of coffee or other caffeine delivery mechanism, without some external prompt – making coffee for my wife, walking past a giant Mountain Dew display in a truckstop. I don’t think of the stuff for myself, but will consider it, logistically, for others.  

I should say more about that physical exercise point. Perhaps counterintuitively, exercise boosts my energy level. The involved muscles feel sore or worn out afterwards, of course, but I also become more clear-headed. Sets of kettlebell lifts, pull-ups, walks, or cycling improve my ability to think, which, given my profession, aids my ability to work. In this way decaffeinating is healthy.

Also healthy is eating less chocolate. I love white chocolate, but it’s not often present when people provide sweets. I eat trail mix fairly often, and have to avoid any that contains (dark) chocolate.

A second big difference between my caffeinated days and now concerns social interactions. Caffeine is a convivial drink with some interpersonal rituals attached, depending on the cultural context. I don’t really participate in these any longer, since I refuse tea, coffee, or chocolate when proffered. I can stand there and be polite, like a teetotaler among drinkers. That sets me apart – briefly, slightly – from other people. Refraining from caffeine is still an odd thing, stranger than avoiding alcohol or gluten, but it’s usually not a big deal. I make do with hot water, my drink of choice, and really like white chocolate.

Being noncaffeinated doesn’t prevent me from providing caffeine to people. I do like making coffee and bringing it to my wife every morning, or serving tea for friends. I’m not revolted by what I prepare and carry, and I don’t think my ability to do that well has been impaired. The experience of making coffee or tea feels more like bringing home non-food items from the grocery store: stuff that’s valued, but not edible.

I feel pretty good about this situation, overall. 

I do test my body occasionally to make sure things are stable. Every year or so I conduct experiments to see how I respond to caffeine. Last year I quaffed some Diet Coke during a very long drive (400 miles) when I was tired and ill. The soda didn’t hurt, as far as I can tell, and I was slightly less fatigued for a few minutes. The year before that I drank some black tea; my guts punished me afterwards. I’ve nibbled (black) chocolate every couple of years; afterwards I do get pains or a queasy feeling. Based on such admittedly few samples in uncontrolled situations, I don’t foresee returning to caffeine in this lifetime.

Curiously, I don’t evangelize the decaffeinated lifestyle. I have never advocated it, online or in person. It feels too intimate and also too conditioned on particular medical circumstances. Beyond explanations when asked and the occasional blog post, I rarely mention it. Sometimes I joke about going straight edge, but it’s just not part of my identity.

However, I do recommend this diet to readers if the preceding picture appeals to you. I didn’t choose the path deliberately, but you might if you see a net benefit after reading this post. I haven’t spoken here of the many downsides of caffeine – jitters, coffee breath, overeating, dental issues from soda, etc. – and you can find those out online. What I wanted to do here was outline one person’s lived experience of a better life without caffeine.

If people are curious I can follow up with a post about giving up alcohol, acids, and hot spices. Which looks awful as something I’ve just written, but let me know if you’d like to hear more.

(cross-posted to my blog)