Seven Warning Signs You Are Dealing with a Workplace Bully

Workplace bullies come in many forms. They can be your peers, leaders, clients and even your subordinates. Some of the bullies we encounter will be true psychopaths or narcissists. And if you don’t believe that some of the bullies you encounter over the course of your life are true psychopaths, then you should read Robert D. Hare’s book Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us. Hare is a leading Canadian criminal psychologist and member of the Order of Canada. He spent much of his career focused on decoding the psychopathic mind. He estimates that 4 to 5 percent of the North American population are non-murderous psychopaths, so that means if you work in an office of one hundred people, approximately four or five of them may fall into this category.

People wince when I use the word “psychopath,” but I’m doing it for a good reason. If I can help you face the reality that there are many more people than you might imagine who do not care about you or anyone but themselves, and who will actively set out to harm you, I will be making your life better. Hopefully you are able to avoid them in your personal life, but you will encounter psychopaths along your career journey more than once. Guaranteed.

Seven Warning Signs You Are Dealing with a Bully

1. In conversations, they will openly disparage other people, perhaps giving you a warning about their potential to bully you later.

2. In meetings, they will undermine people whom they perceive as weak or who pose a threat to their position.

3. They will attempt to draw you over to their side and against others in backroom conversations.

4. When dealing with superiors, they will behave more amicably, often contradicting their previous statements and behavior.

5. They will make everything their business (even initiatives that don’t involve them), and they will pry in both disarming and indirect ways to learn more.

6. They will avoid putting anything in writing and prefer to speak in person or on the phone to avoid getting caught in a lie by someone they’re trying to impress.

7. They will test your empathy by telling you stories of their victimization or mistreatment by others. The purpose of this test is to evaluate how challenging it will be to manipulate you and bring you onside with a sob story.

Read the Signs before Bullies Strike

We often have significant evidence we are dealing with a bully before they take aim at us. In fact, a bully will typically work very hard initially to bring people into their circle...to read more check out Chapter 8: Handling Workplace Personalities with Flair in A Spark in the Dark: Illuminating Your Path to a Brilliant Career in a Reorg World .

Amy Davies is the CEO of First30, an employee onboarding and outplacement company. She is also a corporate speaker known for her candid and engaging talks. She speaks on a variety of leadership topics including Creating Psychologically Safe Workplaces, Attracting and Retaining Top Talent and Ideas for Exceptional Employee Onboarding Programs. To contact Amy, reach out to [email protected] .