Seven simple truths that change lives

I love words and I like to collect quotes. I love that a small number of words in just the right combination can change the way we think and provide insights that resonate deeply.

Even more interesting, when you take hundreds of quotes and look at the messages in them, they mostly come down to these seven simple truths. I hope you find them useful.

1. Always look on the bright side

We often default to finding the negative in things. But even Winston Churchill, who battled chronic lows throughout his life, famously said he chose to be an optimist because none of the other options made much sense. He was right. Choosing to be negative really doesn’t make much sense.

Ultimately, we always have a choice to go glass half empty or half full. It seems that the people who are happiest, and who live longest, decide to take the optimistic path. Most clouds have silver linings. Or at least the clouds eventually pass.

2. Make the best of the cards you are dealt

We can’t change who we are. We can only be the best version of ourselves. And we have to be ourselves because, as Oscar Wilde apparently said, everyone else is taken.

Once you forget comparing yourself with everybody else and just work on being the best you, a big load lifts. And when you get good at being you it’s amazing how often you can lift those around you.

I learnt from many years as a journalist that everybody is interesting, and everybody has a story. You just have to find it. It is worth pausing every so often and asking ourselves what our stories are. One thing I know for sure. Yours is unique.

3. Be grateful

Everybody has something to be grateful for. Often, we take things for granted and don’t take time to appreciate what we have or thank those who make our lives better.

American author Melody Beattie (among many others) says gratitude is the secret to unlocking the fullness of life – “it turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend”.

Hey, you woke up today. Grab the day and be grateful for it. There is so much you can do with a day. What an amazing opportunity!

4. Don’t stress the things you can’t control

There are various versions of this based on ancient Buddhist philosophy. Many people say their lives were transformed when they finally learned to quickly fix the worrying things they could control, and stop worrying over the things they couldn’t control. The one thing we can control is how we react to every situation.

5. Don’t expect everything to be perfect, or even work

 We spend a lot of time lamenting that the system sucks, that nothing works and that everything is too complicated or broken. This situation is not great, but it is also no surprise. We expect that things working is the natural state. But if we fail to maintain, upgrade or fix things, broken, derelict and overgrown is actually the default state.

Our whole world operates around fighting the natural state of brokenness. For everything to work all the time, we would need perfection. We will never have that. We should strive to make everything as good as it can possibly be. But, if it doesn’t always work, we shouldn’t be all that surprised. We just make the best of it and find someone who can fix it.

 6. Default to constructive negotiation rather than conflict

 This is true at a personal and global level. When something happens that cheeses us off - as a person, as a business, as a country - our natural reaction is usually to go into the bunker and fight. The truth is, in almost any situation, a reasoned and respectful discussion will resolve an issue or at least take it to a place where there is rational discussion without heat.

Parents used to tell children to count to 10 when they got angry. This was to give time to get out of the red zone and think rationally again. Imagine what a different world it would be if we defaulted to positive resolution of issues rather than getting our backs up.

 7. Learn to laugh

As they sang in Monty Python’s Life of Brian – “life is quite absurd and that’s the final word”. There is no better way to transform a day than to laugh. I’m not sure any of us laugh enough these days.

Mark Twain, the ultimate quote master, probably said it best: “Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon - laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution - these can lift at a colossal humbug - push it a little - weaken it a little, century by century. But only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Have a great day. None of the other choices make much sense.

Comments in this post are personal and not related to my day job.