Seven and One-Half Decades Observed

The people who make a difference in one’s life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, the most successful (whatever that means), the most popular, or the most patronizing. They are the ones who are there for you when some event occurs that necessitates unrequested, yet intensely embraced companionship. People will often enter into your life through a serendipitous, chance encounter; and for no apparent obvious reason observed at the time. They may appear to arrive as a result of some personal traumatic, visibly emotional episode in one’s life. Their presence provides one with guidance and support which serves to nourish the emotional, spiritual, or perhaps physical pain endured during a crisis situation. This chance encounter with that empathetic person can certainly bring about a deep sense of joy and gratification. It may also progress to a deeply lasting friendship; however, the relationship can also be short-lived existing only through that brief time of difficulty. Then, without any wrong-doing on your part, or for whatever reason, this person, who seemed to be such a good prospect for an extended friendship, walked away, never to be seen or heard from again. Did you say or do something to bring the relationship to an end? Sometimes relationships just die before they ever have a chance to mature. When this happens, it is a sad day and a great loss, but we must realize that at that single instance in time our needs had been met, we were momentarily embraced, perhaps a prayer had been answered, so now we must move on.

Longevity teaches us lifetime lessons; things we must absorb, learn, and build upon in order to develop a healthy emotional foundation within ourselves. Our job is to accept the encounters, momentary experiences, and brief instances of conversations and dialog that when bound into one’s personal volume of an historical record, preserves the emotional imprints of those special relationships we call human friendships. We tend to practice what we have learned in each relationship as our life advances. True friendships are often clairvoyant in their origin, sometimes appearing as a mere chance encounter. Savor the time engaged with these folks because one of the most apparent and depressing consequences to all relationships is that they are finite within the spectrum of one’s mortal lifetime. ?

Human lifelong friendships are built on brief instances in time, and a foundation of many years of shared experiences. A relationship begins from a basic human desire to communicate with another person. An emotional bond develops through the trials and tribulations that are unique to the people involved. The challenge is to accept a premise of imperfection, appreciate the rough edges within one’s personality, embrace the relationship for its honesty and sincerity; develop a sensitivity to laugh and cry when appropriate, and give thanks to the human qualities that enable two people to enjoy the experience of an open, real, honest, and trusting bond.

These qualities form the essential focus of a friendship. The strongest, most enduring relationships develop from a consistent practice of patience, forgiveness, compassion, generosity, and understanding. Just as an artist begins a masterpiece of sculpture from a rough piece of stone, so also does a lasting friendship require time to chip away the rough edges to attain its polished finality. Lifetime friendships are time dependent. My closest friends have been with me for decades. While I do not see them on a daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly schedule; what makes these relationships so valuable is that when our paths do cross, we resume where we left off from the last encounter. The reflections of past experiences and the stories we tell each other form a volume of memories linking a continuous journey that imprints our individual identities with those of our friends, which as it follows, illuminates the spiritual and emotional pathways of our lives. Our emotional stability and stature as an intelligent, self-actualizing species is enhanced when we can engage in thought-provoking communication. An inability to recall and add to these humane events would be a tragedy.

What do we value? How do we measure and understand it? Why is it important to us?

? Identify a teacher who inspired you to work hard.

? Identify a hero whose story has inspired you.

? Identify someone who has taught you something worthwhile.

? Identify someone who has made you feel appreciated and special.

? Identify a friend who has helped you through a difficult time.

? Identify someone you enjoy spending time with. ?

One’s personal accumulation of values is fundamentally fabricated by those role models and individuals that we have identified with, and by extension, have had a significant impact on the manner in which we conduct the affairs of our lives. Among our greatest human assets is an ability to activate our curiosity by sensing, questioning, and seeking out answers that serve to clarify the ambiguities' that sometimes prevail within our conscience, which can typically fuel a sense of insecurity for what is unknown to us. The uncertainties and unknowns should serve as a challenge to explore, question, and learn. One’s life is an ongoing learning experiment and finite experience. It often ends too soon.

A Transitory Digression – The physical (accreted) planet Earth has been in existence for 4.54 ±0.05 billion years. Many physical, chemical, and biologic changes have occurred throughout its history, yet the human species continues to promote both good and deleterious impacts on its survival due to some very basic deficiencies in our behavior. As an intellectually dominating biologic organism, we are physically, emotionally, and spiritually the most violent, unforgiving species that has ever roamed the planet. We seem to delight in ignoring natural laws and processes to suit our selfish, personal desires. What strikes sharply right between my eyes are visions forecasted by lessons ignored from past historic behavior, coupled by repeated measures that continue to infiltrate at the present and into the future.

The past is a grim reminder that our demise could likely be sooner than later due to our propensity to seek to control, dominate, and dictate isolated mannerisms and policies that are detrimental to the physical existence of the planet, and all of its inhabitants. We continue by failing to recognize, understand, and openly communicate as a world society. We function as isolated, self-serving groups defined by painfully flawed religious doctrines, ignorance, personal biases, prejudicial behavior, and profound stupidity. The majority of the population is controlled by a small minority of individuals too often exercising poorly thought-out governing decisions that serve to impart social/cultural constraints and half-baked economic priorities. This insanity continues to divide our species into progressively weaker groups constantly fighting amongst themselves to just survive, while a controlling minority continues to enjoy the benefits of their insidious behavior. We have the intellect and ability to improve as a fully functioning species; however, greed, self-serving interests, and selfish personal desires to control everything necessary for the planet and its inhabitants to sustain itself remain intact as a constant reminder of the inequality that exists; and how the controlling factions have leveraged their power enabling an entire world population to become subservient to them. If we fail to effectively communicate as a collective family of friends residing throughout the entire planet, we will continue to fuel our species ultimate demise. The violence occurring in Ukraine and Israel are just a reminder of our inability to exist as a peaceful functioning world society. I always thought looking straight into one’s eyes, a handshake, and honest dialog were a good start to a friendship, but follow through is the critical element in a sustained relationship. Deceptions, partial truths, and lies will continue to dominate Homo sapiens if for no other reason than we cannot seem to get past our deficient shortcomings.