Seven Days of Random Basics On Fraud* --- Day Two: Long Live Seventh Grade English
Jeffrey Robinson
Old fashioned storyteller. Bestselling author of THE LAUNDRYMEN. 30+ books. Expert on money laundering & financial crime. Seasoned investigative journalist, television, film & keynote speaker.
*Share this, resend it, Tweet it, fax it, email it or just print it out and hand it to grandparents, kids, anyone on a fixed income, everyone over the age of 65 and, especially, the guy sitting next to you on a plane who, when he finds out that you know a lot about fraud, assures you he’s too smart to be conned.
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“Fraud is a very simple crime to understand. I tell you a lie, you give me money, that’s fraud. It is never any more complicated than that.” – Jeffrey Robinson
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Day Two ---
Long Live 7th Grade English
Remember Mrs. Dribblenose, the craggy white-haired English teacher back in 7th grade who made us write compositions about really boring subjects such as, “Why Wheat Matters To Me,” then scribbled red ink all over our pages, correcting our sentence structure, spelling and grammar?
She’s the one who tried to drum into our heads stuff like: don’t end sentences with prepositions; declension is the noun analog to conjugation; and, the complete predicate is everything in the sentence that the complete subject isn’t. (Huh?)
When you’re educated in the native English-speaking world, there is always a Mrs. Dribblenose. Thanks to her, the language as we speak it and write it is familiar.
Then along comes this:
“Dear Trusted Friend – This is to officially inform you that it has come to our notice, the Federal Bureau Investigation (FBI), that the sum of $8.3 Million U.S Dollars contained is here in the United State Of America in your name. That is why we have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because the above mentioned amount is a huge amount of money, that is why we want to make sure that money you are about to receive is legal and we need to verify that you are not involved in any terrorist movement and money laundry. It has already been confirmed in your name, but funds are right now in our custody waiting to be released to you, we have verified and investigated that you are the right beneficiary to claim the funds, all we need from you is verification and proof due to the huge amount of money involved. As a matter of national security, we are to serve and to protect the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.”
What’s wrong with that?
Simple. Whoever wrote such gibberish never had to face Mrs. Dribblenose. So how could this possibly be from someone working for the FBI?
Granted, not all email scammers are so outrageously illiterate. But that’s a genuine email, and it’s surprising how many scammers — pretending to be native English speakers — don’t seem to know the basic rules of English grammar.
Or, how to spell.
Or, that when you write a sentence which is too long, and contains all sorts of sub-clauses, even when those sub-clauses are supposed to be helping to make a point but fails because the sub-clauses don’t make any more sense than the rest of the letter, which means you wind up with a really badly written, run-on sentence — precisely like this one — then something is radically wrong.
Common sense says that anytime you receive an emailed offer of free money from a perfect stranger — and that includes the FBI! — throw it away. Common sense also says that if there’s an attachment with an email from a perfect stranger, never open it.
Sadly, sometimes, in the face of greed, common sense takes a holiday.
There is a school of thought that goes, Nigerian 419 letters deliberately batter Mrs. Dribblenose’s English because anyone who doesn’t know better will be more susceptible to believing them to be real. In turn, those people are more easily conned. And that well might be true.
So how’s this for a “golden rule”:
If your “English speaking” pen-pal is promising you instant wealth, inordinate fame, better sex, more hair or lasting friendship, and couldn’t pass Mrs. Dribblenose’s 7th Grade English Class --- guaranteed, it’s a scam.
(c) Jeffrey Robinson 2010, 2112, 2020
Excerpted from: Jeffrey Robinson’s There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute: A Revelation of Audacious Frauds, Scams, and Cons — How to Spot Them, How to Stop Them
There’s more where this came from. If it amuses you, please Connect/Follow me on Linked In. I always follow back and am anxious to hear what you have to say. Cheers/JR
Tomorrow, Day Three: Where The Money Is
Consulting Partner at CinnaGold Partners
1 年FBI and Department of the Army conducted a rare night training exercise at Boston's Revere Hotel, detaining and interrogating a subject for more than an hour. Until, perhaps, the agent who was waiting for them to burst in called the training supervisor to ask, "What's taking your guys so long?" Yep. Wrong room. The unaffiliated subject kept grousing about missing his flight. Easily corrected in most cases, but the guy that had been successfully resisting their questions for over an hour was the pilot. No fraud there. Someone just misunderstood the room number.....
Failed Interviewee for Father Christmas and Joanna Lumley fantasist.
5 年Yes Jeffrey, you touched on it at the end of your piece. There was a guy a few years back doing the rounds of the London AML / Fraud Conferences who had interviewed several 419 senders in Nigeria and put that question to them. As they were educated people, why did they make spelling and grammatical mistakes? Their answer was that it was deliberate, and they received more than enough responses to deal with as it was. If they made the letter look even more genuine they wouldn't be able to handle all the responses. Also, it was a good indication that those who did respond in spite of the obvious mistakes, were probably dumb enough to fall for it, so it was a kind of vetting procedure on their part. So I think something more than an intensive course on English Language would be required, some people just aren't safe to be out on their own.