Seven Bits of Rotten Advice Which Will Wreck Your CV (and me to the rescue to tell you to avoid it).

As much as I tell you lot that you can apply for jobs all year round, January still remains the peak period; the “New Year, New Me” factor is in full force and there you are, writing your new CV in between trips to the gym.

I’ll roll with it, if that’s what the masses want to do.

But here’s my beef:

Some of the ‘advice’ articles I’ve read over the last few days are appalling. Not only that, but if anyone ever tries to take your money for writing your CV in such suggested formats, you should walk away. Quickly.

I am here to help you do it yourself and tell you what not to do. and please, please, please, tell your friends.

1.?????? The “You Must Have A Two-Page CV” tale/legend/myth/fable

IT IS NONSENSE.

And I shall tell you why:

Way, way back, many centuries ago, before email was born, there was a prehistoric communication appliance called a Fax Machine. Your friendly recruitment consultant, many of whom are still slaying recruitment today, would send your typed or handwritten (sometimes with a quill) CV over to their client by fax.

In fear of the recipient not having enough paper in the fax machine, or that the wretched thing would chew and eat your magnificent CV, it was recommended that your CV should be no longer than two pages.

Also, even in the early noughties and occasionally still today, candidates would send their CV by post (remember those red boxes that you can never find now?). Again. Not only would your hand hurt from writing a CV longer than two pages (again, sometimes with a quill), but perish the actual thought of any pages getting separated by the recipient, or indeed, the weight of the envelope requiring an extra stamp. Maximum two pages again, please.

Well, guess what, dinosaurs?

We are now in the digital age and we use computers!

Now. You might be a Gen Z or a younger Millennial. Or a graduate, or someone with minimal experience. In which case, please don’t attempt to create an epically long CV, just because I told you to. For you, two pages is absolutely fine. However, if you have at least one single grey hair on your head, you are probably experienced enough to require further pages to document your experience.

If you have publications, please include them! You worked hard for these; celebrate them!

2.?????? “You Must Include All Your Education!”

ABSURDITY (in many cases).

Nobody cares if you have a GCSE in German (unless you want to go on to be a German translator, obvs.

Here’s another tip:

If you have a degree and achieved anything below an upper second class (2:1) don’t publish the grade. Same with other qualifications; if you smashed them with A Stars, A or B, Distinction or Merit then shout about it. If you didn’t, then just list the subjects that you passed. No grades or scores. And well done. There’s still a lot of snobbery with grades, which is why I’m telling you this. If you passed anything – you are AWESOME IMO, but I don’t want you to be refused an interview because of a ‘rogue’ ‘D’ in that silly German GCSE.

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3.?????? “Put your education at the top! No! Put it at the bottom!”

Actually, no right or wrong, here.

It can be a little bit ambiguous, sometimes, on where to list your education on your CV. And that, my friends, often depends on your background and what type of work you are seeking to find. Drop me a message for specific advice and I will give you my best tips.

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4.?????? “Make your CV stand out!”

No. Don’t try to make your CV “stand out”. This is is why boring is best.

Fancy borders, boxes and columns will upset recruiters’ ATS (applicant tracking system). They don’t understand “pretty”; they can’t interpret it.

Agencies, in particular use a selection of software packages, including; Recruit CRM , Bullhorn , JobAdder , LogicMelon , Manatal and Gohire .

Talent teams use similar packages, including; Workable , Greenhouse Software , iCIMS , SmartRecruiter and Teamtailor Jobs .

If your CV is too fancy and pretty, these software platforms will freak out and often not import your CV properly, which means it won’t be read properly or it might even fail to upload completely.

Please, please, please keep it simple. MS Word or PDF are both preferred formats and in terms of text, paragraphs, bullet points and lists are all the easiest for us to read.

A nice, clean, plain font and no lower than 10pt and please use spacing to separate each section.

As I said – DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SQUASH YOUR CV ONTO TWO PAGES AT THE EXPENSE OF MAKING IT HARD TO READ.

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5.?????? “Don’t include your interests and hobbies!”

Lies! We want to see them!

But not all of them.

If you play cribbage with Brian once a week, then that’s nice, but no thanks. If you enjoy TV, music and movies... nobody cares. If you love spending time with family and friends, then lovely! You walk your dog? Bore off.

·?????? Play (or played) a team sport. YES.

·?????? Captained it? Even better.

·?????? Sit (or sat) on the committee for XYZ. Yes please.

·?????? Play musical instruments. Yep. To a high level or in a band? Oh yes.

·?????? Ran a marathon, completed an Ironman, parkrunner (including volunteering), CrossFit-ter or Hyrox-er (particularly if you complete). All yeah.

·?????? Any serious/semi-serious/regular activity which requires the discipline and self-motivation to improve. Love this.

·?????? Tinkering and DIY. Yep.

·?????? Learning other languages? Bellissimo!

·?????? Teaching yourself to code. Amazing!

In short, what you do outside of work or full-time education demonstrates what kind of attributes you could bring into your next role, including:

·?????? Self-Discipline

·?????? Leadership

·?????? Persistence

·?????? Motivation

·?????? Drive

·?????? Ambition

·?????? Focus

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6.?????? “There are some jobs you should miss off your CV!”

Careful……

·?????? “But I only worked there for two months.”

·?????? “It was only a temp job.”

·?????? “The company went bust.”

·?????? “Another recruiter told me to leave it off.”

·?????? “I didn’t think it would be relevant.”

·?????? “It was over twenty years’ ago.”

It’s all relevant and hiring managers will query gaps.

Definitely don’t fudge dates to cover up gaps. It’s OK to have gaps!

If you had a baby, tell us that you had a baby.

If you went traveling, say that you went traveling (and where, because we’re super nosy).

If you took some time out to care for someone, list it. Life is tough.

If you wanted to take a few months out to reconsider your next opportunity, that’s OK too!

Don’t try and cover things up or omit anything which might come back to bite you on the bum. It inevitably will, because we recruiters can spot an anomaly from a mile off, anyway.

As with all of the above, make sure it all cross references with your LinkedIn profile. No inconsistencies.

7.?????? What else to miss out – The Seven Deadly Sins:?

·?????? Photos. No. Keep those for Linked and keep them professional.

·?????? Age. Nooooo. We can probably work it out by your education anyway, but there are still some people who won’t offer you an interview if you’re “too old” or “too young”. Those people are scum, anyway.

·?????? Marital/relationship status. No. Not Tinder. Not relevant.

·?????? Kids. No.

·?????? Salary history. No. Always keep that one up your sleeve.

·?????? Details of your referees. “References available on request” is fine.

·?????? Negative comments. We’ve all had that one boss or worked at that one place we hated and regretted. Never air your dirty laundry on your CV.

So there you go, gang. Hopefully, some of this is helpful. If there are any particular CV questions you have, ping me over a message and I will do my best to help you.