Setting Boundaries That Stick
Etienne C. Toussaint
Law Professor at University of South Carolina School of Law
Drowning in Late-Night Emails?
Are you constantly fielding "urgent" work calls during family dinner?
Do you find yourself responding to emails at midnight? If so, you're not alone. Many professionals struggle with setting and maintaining work-life boundaries, but it doesn't have to be this way.
As someone who's been there, I want to share some actionable strategies that have helped me and countless others reclaim our personal time without sacrificing professional success.
1. Be Explicit and Leverage Technology
Set clear expectations by explicitly stating your working hours.
Example: “I’m available 9 AM–6 PM, Monday through Friday.”
Use Auto-Responders: Set up automatic replies for emails outside working hours to manage expectations.
Example: “Thank you for reaching out! I respond to emails during business hours (9 AM–6 PM). If it's urgent, please [insert alternative].”
Update Messaging Apps: Adjust your status on platforms like Slack, Teams, or Zoom to reflect your availability.
Example: “Away—back at 10 AM tomorrow.”
By leveraging technology to set these boundaries, you subtly remind others without needing to address it repeatedly.
2. Lead by Example and Be Proactive
Your actions will reinforce your words. If you want others to respect your boundaries, demonstrate those boundaries yourself:
Avoid sending work emails after hours unless absolutely necessary. If something must go out, use tools like scheduled emails to send during your working hours.
Proactively communicate preferences at the start of new projects or work relationships.
Example: “I generally respond to emails within 24 hours. If something is urgent, feel free to text me during office hours.”
Encourage discussions about schedules to align with team and client needs early.
Example: “What works best for us to coordinate on this? Here’s my availability to start.”
3. Tailor Your Approach
Different people and relationships will require different ways of setting boundaries. Here are some ways to adapt your approach:
To Colleagues: “I check emails at 10 AM and 4 PM daily. If there’s something urgent, tag it with [URGENT].”
To Supervisors: “I’ve structured my day for optimal productivity by focusing on core tasks in the morning. Let me know how we can best align with team needs.”
To Clients: “For the best service, my call hours are from 2–4 PM. Let me know if you need a time outside that window, and I’ll do my best to accommodate.”
To Family: “7–9 PM is family time. Please reserve calls for emergencies only.”
Adjusting your tone and expectations based on the audience shows both professionalism and respect for your different relationships.
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4. Be Firm but Flexible
While it’s important to enforce boundaries, being adaptable shows professionalism and understanding. When you make an exception, be transparent about it.
Example: “I’ll address this urgent case tonight as an exception, but let’s plan ahead next time to avoid these situations.”
When boundaries are bent occasionally, reinforce that they're not the norm by offering proactive solutions for future scenarios.
5. Use Visual Cues and Regular Check-ins
Subtle reminders help others respect your focus time:
Do Not Disturb Signs: Whether digital (calendar blocks) or physical, these cues signal to others that you’re unavailable for non-urgent matters.
Example: Set your calendar status as "Busy" during deep work blocks or when handling personal matters.
Shared Calendars: Use shared tools to inform your team or clients of your availability.
Regularly Review Boundaries: Assess whether your working hours and commitments align with your needs. If changes are needed, communicate them clearly.
Example: “For the next month, my core working hours will shift to 8 AM–5 PM to accommodate project demands.”
6. Educate and Appreciate
People are more likely to respect boundaries when they understand the reasoning behind them. Take the time to explain how boundaries benefit everyone.
Example: “Respecting focus time allows me to deliver better results and maintain a healthy balance, which ultimately benefits the whole team.”
Acknowledge and appreciate when others respect your boundaries. Gratitude builds goodwill and encourages future cooperation.
Example: “Thanks for waiting until office hours to send that update—I really appreciate it!”
Next Steps
Remember, the goal is to create a healthy rhythm, not build impenetrable walls. With clear communication and consistent practice, you can foster a work environment that respects individual needs while meeting collective goals.
It might feel uncomfortable at first, but stick with it.
Your stress levels will thank you, your relationships will improve, and you might even find yourself more productive during work hours.
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