Setting the Tone: Building Emotional Resilience for a Successful School Year

The start of a new school year offers a perfect opportunity to establish a strong foundation for emotional regulation and foster daily connections within the family. By addressing key topics and activities early on, parents can help pave the way for a year of meaningful emotional engagement with their children. Below are my recommendations for what can help:

1. Establish Morning and Evening Emotional Check-ins

Morning Routine: Encouraging children to identify their emotions at the start of the day can significantly help parents understand and support their needs throughout the day. For instance, if a child expresses anxiety about meeting a new teacher, a parent might respond, “It’s natural to feel anxious about meeting someone new. Let me tell you a little about your teacher so you have a sense of who they are before you meet them.” Emotion charts, like those I’ve shared in previous newsletters, can be a useful tool for this morning check-in.

Evening Routine: I recommend dedicating 5-10 minutes each evening to an emotion check-in. A simple yet effective activity is for each family member to share two positive experiences and two challenges from their day, along with how they managed them. This practice not only encourages sharing but also offers a chance for family members to support one another.

2. Discuss How to Handle Mean/Difficult Behavior at School

It’s crucial to remind children of the resources available to them when they encounter difficult situations at school. Conversations about dealing with mean behavior can empower children to advocate for themselves and seek support when needed. Some helpful reminders for kids include:

? It’s okay to take a break from a friend if you need to. You can say, “I need to play with something else for now, but I’ll join you later.”

? If a friend hurts your feelings, speak up. You might say, “What you just said made me feel angry/sad. Can you please apologize and not do it again?”

? If you feel excluded, seek out other friends to play with. If this happens repeatedly, let your teacher know, and tell me when you get home.

? Understand that not everyone will want to do the same things as you. If someone declines your invitation, find another friend to join you, or enjoy the activity on your own.

? If you experience strong emotions during the day, write them down so we can talk about them in the evening.

3. Equip Children with Emotional Regulation Strategies

It’s essential for children to feel a sense of control over their emotions and bodies during the school day. Providing them with emotional regulation tools helps them navigate the ups and downs of their day more effectively. In my practice, I teach simple breathing techniques that children can use when they feel overstimulated or dysregulated. These strategies should be practiced at home so that children understand when and how to use them.

Here is a script you can use to introduce this concept: “During the school day, you might notice that your body feels like it has too much energy or that the noise around you is overwhelming. When this happens, try the 5-Finger Breathing Technique to calm down. You can ask your teacher if you can step out for a moment, use the quiet space in your classroom, or go to the bathroom to practice this. It will help you feel better and focus better on your class activities. Let’s practice it together." (In some instances, the teacher might need to support your child so make sure to communicate this strategy with them).

I hope these tools help you and your family start the new school year on the right foot!

Resources:

5 Finger Breathing Strategy (Little Kids): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjSS5g85xtg

Belly Breathing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN28VLYpCUc

Box Breathing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEmt1Znux58&t=1s

Resources From Previous Newsletter:

Adult Emotion Wheel: https://www.isu.edu/media/libraries/counseling-and-testing/documents/Wheel-of-Emotions-Handout-(3).pdf

Kids Feelings Chart: https://health.choc.org/handout/feelings-chart/

Kids Emotion Chart: https://hope4hurtingkids.com/resources/H4HK-Emotions-Chart.pdf

Dr. Nirmeen Rajani, a Clinical Psychologist and mother of two, specializes in anxiety, depression, trauma/PTSD, and issues affecting children. With a focus on supporting children, adolescents, couples, and families through various life transitions, she compassionately empowers parents in their parenting journey, while also working directly with children to address a variety of childhood challenges.

Learn more about her work and practice: Psychology Center Schaumburg