Setting the Staging: Sales & Strategy Lessons From Our First Home Purchase

A few years ago, I wrote about the sales/business lessons I learned from a personal life milestone (leasing my first car). Well, I have a new milestone to share – along with some additional lessons. Earlier this week, my girlfriend and I purchased our first home!

We had the pleasure of working with Jessica Spillas and Ralph Fox of Fox Marin Associates over the last two months. Not only did they help us find a place we love (at a price we love even more) but, intentionally or not, they also taught us so much along the way. I wanted to share a few sales/business/relationship insights we gained both from working directly with Jessica/Ralph, as well as some lessons learned just by going through the process in general.

Agents of Change: Lessons Learned From Working With Fox Marin

1) The best salespeople would also make the best teachers: In the early stages of our real estate journey, we were contemplating whether to pursue a resale property, or go the pre-construction route. Heavily leaning towards going pre-construction at the time, we were struggling to find promising projects that weren't sold out (or almost sold out). When it comes to preconstruction, we quickly learned: if you aren't early, you're late. Looking for more information/specifics on how these projects make their way to the market, I took to Google – and stumbled upon a Fox Marin blog post on that exact topic.

While the content was great, it was the way it was written that blew me away. It was simple, well articulated, and each paragraph built on the information from the one that preceded it. I just got the feeling that whoever wrote the article was a great teacher and understood that a fundamental part of any informed purchase is customer education. This was really notable to me, as I was very aware of the massive gap I had when it came to real estate knowledge. We weren't even actively looking for an agent at the time, but I just knew I had to reach out to Ralph (the author of the article) and see if I could get a meeting in the books.

Luckily for us, Ralph responded – and we met him and Jessica a few days later. We had high expectations going into that meeting, and they blew those expectations out of the water. They had a presentation prepared for us, and made it clear that their primary goal of the meeting was to teach us as much as possible. They graciously spent two hours with us, letting us ask dozens of questions along the way, and we came away with a completely different understanding of the Toronto real estate market (and real estate, in general). Like all great teachers do, they tailored their content to their students (us) and made sure to focus on the areas that were the biggest gaps. From that moment forward, the teaching never stopped, as I can honestly say we learned something new from every interaction with Jessica (who would be our main point of contact).

The Fox Marin team clearly realizes that an educated customer is a confident customer, a decisive customer and, most importantly, a customer who trusts their sales representative. True learning is such a rewarding and engaging feeling, and it also empowered us to be the best possible real estate clients we could be. That is a lesson that many businesses can benefit from.

(Note: Our mortgage broker, Jason Friesen of Outline Financial, also embodied these qualities and was a phenomenal teacher too)

2) Vulnerability begets vulnerability, which begets connection: The Fox Marin team's ability to put themselves out there and take a risk on us was also something that set the tone for our interactions with them. Going into that first meeting, they had no idea how serious we were as buyers and certainly had no commitment from us that we would work with them (for all they knew, we could have been shopping agents). Despite this, they went into our meeting fully open and without reservation. As mentioned, they spent two hours with us and were exceptionally gracious with not only their time, but their knowledge.

We couldn't help but reciprocate this openness/vulnerability, and consequently were very comfortable sharing our thoughts, desires, and financial information. This was all very intimate information, but we didn't worry at all about being judged. We came out of that first meeting excited, energized, and empowered – and there was no doubt in our minds that we would be working with Jessica and Ralph.

3) Partners have confidence in the relationship and aren't afraid to point out the negative or have difficult conversations: Part of the reason that being a great teacher is so important in sales is because that teacher/student dynamic promotes trust. A second important way that salespeople can build trust is by being a true partner – and true partners don't deal only with the good, but also the bad.

There were several specific examples of this in our experiences:

• As I mentioned, going into that first meeting, we were pretty honed in on pre-construction. However, Ralph and Jessica were quick to share their tough, but honest, opinion that preconstruction would not be a good move for us. They explained why and, by the end of the meeting, we agreed with their assessment and were fully aligned on pivoting to resale.
• At each of our viewings, Jessica made sure to not just point out the positives of the property, but also the bad. Even for properties that we liked, she was not shy to tell us if she hated it – or if there were "hidden" negatives that we had overlooked. She also kept us rooted in the property's true value and did not let us overspend, which was especially admirable as her commission is directly tied to our purchase price.
• The real estate process is complex, and there are no shortage of obscure details that can present themselves as obstacles. On two separate occasions, my own mistakes or knowledge gaps prevented us from submitting realistic offers on properties that we were interested in. To add insult to injury, these hurdles came to light at the last second, literally right before we were set to offer. Jessica could have let these experiences frustrate her, but instead she remained supportive and handled those difficult conversations with grace. We had to adjust our budget several times, but Jessica still stuck with us and helped us recalibrate our search accordingly. She remained confident in us as clients, even when we doubted ourselves – which was sincerely appreciated.

Buyer Be Aware: Lessons Learned From the Buying Process

1) When making a major purchase decision, always acknowledge the cons: At every viewing, I made sure to not just list the "pros"/what I liked – but also list out each and every "con" as well (no matter how minor). At first, this annoyed my girlfriend to no end, as she thought I was being overly negative and seeking perfection. Eventually, this caused me to take a step back and explain my rationale to her: I wasn't looking for perfection, but I wanted to be aware of all negative aspects so that I could be at peace with our decision, if we chose to purchase despite them. Specifically, my goal for the "con" list of a property was to ask a simple question for each and every one: "Can we live with it?"

While a crack in the ceiling or a dislodged floor panel might not dissuade us from submitting an offer, a dysfunctional floorplan or lack of natural light might. It's so easy to get caught up with the emotional pull of the positive features, which makes it key to factor in not only the good, but the bad as well. This balance was important in making a choice we could stand behind, with minimal or no regret down the line.

2) The concept of a "sales cycle" also applies to interpersonal relationships: In most forms of sales, you learn that you can't ask for the world in one conversation – and that it often takes multiple conversations to bring the customer along. This also applies to conversations that you might have with friends, family, or your significant other. In the specific example of my girlfriend and I, we had drastically different ideas of what type of property would be best for us and what locations we should be open to (spoiler alert: she was ultimately right on both counts).

This strong disagreement led to conflict in our relationship from her end, as she couldn't understand why I was being so dense and not willing to accept her point of view. In navigating this conflict, I explained to her that important opinions or stances don't change in a single conversation. Like in a sales cycle, it takes multiple conversations for someone to make a major change on where they stand. Similar to how a customer must be moved from awareness, to interest, to desire, to action, I also had to progress in a stepwise fashion. Over the ensuing weeks, through conversations and experience in the market, I eventually came to agree with her point of views and we were able to fully align.

When you are navigating conflict in a personal or professional relationship, I would encourage you to treat it like a "sales cycle". The goal in the first conversation should be progress, not outright change.

3) Don't take the emotions out of an important purchasing journey - but instead practice balanced excitement: The Toronto real estate market is absolutely brutal, and I often received advice to take the "emotions" out of the process. I was told to not let myself get excited about a specific property, as the competition is fierce and the odds would always be stacked against us. While I understand that we needed to temper our expectations, buying your first home is supposed to be a special moment and to strip it of all emotions just seemed wrong. Instead, my girlfriend and I chose to practice what we called "balanced excitement", where we let ourselves feel excited for a property – but had open conversations to make sure we remained rational and open to the possibility of disappointment. Surprisingly, this made the lows a lot more manageable and our unaccepted offers stung far less than we expected. As with most things in life, a balanced approach can often make a world of difference.

I hope you founds this helpful, and managed to take away an insight or two that you can apply to your work or personal relationships. If you find these type of articles interesting, please let me know and I'll keep writing – although I can't promise when my next personal life milestone will come!