Setting the stage for a miracle to occur

“When I was a child, there was a well-known advertisement for V8 Juice. Someone would drink something else and then realize “Wow, I coulda had a V8!” As an adult, I’ve realized many times, when situations have not turned out so well, “Wow, I coulda had a miracle.” —Marianne Williamson

So many couples I have spoken with who have broken through to a beautiful level of delight and enjoyment in their partnership?reflect back on their?troubled times and say, “It's a miracle!”

In the dictionary, a miracle?is defined as “a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.”?When I invite these couples to delve more deeply into what occurred, they begin to take ownership of the work that they each did that set the conditions that gave rise to the miraculous shift. They recognize the specific ways they participated in the miracle’s unfolding. The change in conditions?vary?in type. Examples are:

• Giving up the romantic notion that?a relationship will be easy and flow?just because we love each other.
• Becoming more accomplished in handling conflict so that they didn’t burn their relationship to death.?
• Finally, after years, becoming free from an alcohol or drug addiction.
• Learning how to draw effective boundaries.
• Graduating out of a victim mentality to take a higher level of responsibility.
• Becoming courageous enough to bring up tough issues and adequately deal with them.
• Making the relationship a higher priority than the children or work.
• Giving up the impulse to control another person.
• Leaving a job that makes us tense, irritable, and miserable.
• Learning to listen deeply to their partner’s feelings and needs.
• Getting good help from an experienced professional so that other options they hadn’t seen became available.?
• Offering forgiveness to a partner who had hurt them.
• Developing the qualities that allowed them to become eligible for a great relationship.

Just to name a few.

It can appear that there was a divine force assisting the transformation that occurred. But on closer examination, it becomes obvious that both members of the couple shifted their thinking and behavior. That change of heart paved the way for the miracle to unfold. The up-level in the relationship did not manifest from a prayer that the relationship improves. They did not evolve because of an affirmation like, “Every day in every way, my relationship is getting better and better.” The miracle unfolded as a result of making a full-hearted, concentrated effort to shift the environment they were living into one of cooperation, responsibility, generosity, respect, and wholesomeness.

If we want to have a miracle, we better get busy setting the stage to give it the best possible chance to occur. It’s perfectly fine to expect a miracle, but we also need to do our part. When we allow the miracle to unfold, we make the commitment to allow love to flow into our relationship and there is such an abundance of love that it completely overwhelms the fear. Now there’s a miracle worth participating in.?