Setting myself up for failure… and thriving

This is the story of why water slides and tap shoes were part of my personal growth plan...

My parents love to tell the story of the first time I rode my first bicycle. As I sat there, contemplating the task ahead of me, I asked my parents worriedly, “What do I do when I get there?” My parents squinted towards the horizon, seeing nothing. “Up there!” I pointed frustratedly. Finally, my parents saw a manhole cover on the roadway WAY in the distance. Needless to say, I’ve been a planner from childhood, always wanting to anticipate and avoid roadblocks and failures. In typical oldest daughter fashion, I was known for always having a plan and always being able to execute – and my greatest fear tended to be looking incapable or foolish.

Just over a year ago, I took on a new role as the Director of People Experience for Pfizer’s Rocky Mount, NC site. I knew it was a stretch role, and I knew that I had amazing people who bet on me, even as an underdog on paper. Early in the role, when people close to me asked how I liked the role, I said honestly, “It feels like an itchy sweater.” I felt like my five year old self, pedaling frantically around what felt like a whole road of manhole covers, unable to anticipate and plan for them like I wanted to. Even when I could point to some really great results and milestones achieved, I struggled every day with feeling like I was failing. I struggled not to fixate on the things that went wrong, or could have been better, or people I could have helped more.

In January, I took a trip to Mexico with my family, and on the plane read the book “Mindset” that our SVP Tanya Alcorn had given to our site leadership teams. I began realizing how much I struggled with a growth mindset when it came to myself and my abilities. I knew the value of a growth mindset and could coach it in others, but in many ways, I was still the five year old who wanted to find out all the answers, so I could ride my bike perfectly the first time. I watched my husband speak totally broken Spanish with the locals in Mexico, whereas I didn’t, for fear of looking foolish. As I reflected on this and my desire to truly embrace a growth mindset, I did what I do best – I created a strategy. I was going to fail. Frequently. I was going to build deep resilience. I was going to look foolish.

Step one – the water slides at the resort. As an overweight woman in my 30s, I calculated several things that could go horrifically wrong in mixing inflatable intertubes, water, and gravity, but I joined my kids, looked slightly ridiculous, and had lots of fun.

I downloaded Duolingo and have done a lesson every day since then. I occasionally send my Spanish speaking friends and colleagues ridiculous half Spanish text messages like, “Enjoy your trip! Remember your pasaporte, maleta, and boleto when you head to el aeropuerto! I signed up for dance classes. Yes, dance classes. There are a pair of tap shoes in my car right now. At several of the jazz lessons, they made us practice our splits. Mine… did not look like splits.

Discomfort and even failure are often prerequisites to achieve your greatest growth and accomplishments. Instead of spending so much time and energy on avoiding and mitigating failure, maybe we should build it in as an expectation to everything we do, building resilience and a growth mindset.

Whether it’s in work or in life – maybe the best thing you can do is to set yourself up for failure. Who knows how you might grow and what success may blossom from it, when you prioritize getting comfortable with being uncomfortable!