Setting Goals Without Losing Your Soul

Goals. They sometimes get a bad rap. Some folks think that if you have a goal you'll never actually be happy because you end up focusing your attention on this future achievement without enjoying the process.

And when the time arrives, you'll either have missed your goal, creating more unhappiness, or you'll have achieved it with only a fleeting sense of satisfaction that disappears once the new goal is set.

But the problem isn't the goal.

The problem is when you tie your self-worth to its achievement. As long as you are kind to yourself and your team regardless of the goal's status, there is literally nothing to lose by having a goal.

And this is easier said than done. We live in a world where achievement is rewarded and failure is punished. So people fret about the goals that are set and can get real negative in pursuit of the goal.

They'll believe, even if only subconsciously, the destructive axiom that the ends justify the means.

So of course goals will lose popularity. Get rid of the ends and we can focus on excellent means, the thinking goes. The ends will take care of themselves if the processes are good.

But then you lose the power of goals to focus the mind and muster sufficient resources.

So what to do?

See the goal as the arena for your and your team's growth. Let the big goal be the playground for upleveling everyone's mindset and creativity.

If there's no existential risk in missing the goal, it allows you to commit completely to achieving it. It allows you to ask new questions, such as, "How can we reach this milestone without working more hours or hiring new team members?"

Goals provide constraint. Constraint leads to focus. Focus drives results.

The way you remove the self-judgment and fear from a goal is through conscious communication, starting with yourself and radiating out to your team.

Once you are clear in your own heart that the big goal you set is simply for the sake of playing at a higher level, and not to prove your worth, then you are free to innovate, play, and get great work done in a truly safe environment.

It's only from that inner confidence that you can invite your team into the same space. Psychological safety begins with you. It is the inner container of acceptance and encouragement that you provide through conscious attention to it. Put simply, your self-talk is loving and generous. You treat yourself like you would a cherished friend.

Extending that same love to your team will allow them to stretch, enter states of flow, freely share ideas, and, in short, have a better time at work.

Oh, and you'll also get more done. Way more.

Why? Because you have a big goal, and you're not using fear to get there. Humans work best in states of play, connection, and focus. Fear blocks all those.

So set a big goal. Stick with it. Talk about it. Measure it.

And love yourself and your team like you're the most amazing people around.

Because you are.