Setting Boundaries – New Beginning

Boundaries are important in building healthy relationships. If you have trouble saying no to a person or you often feel that your space gets invaded, then it is time to draw some lines. Also, there can be times when you are the overbearing one in a relationship. The problem is that with emotional boundaries, there is no concrete sign like “No Trespassing” or “Work Under Progress”. Life would have been much easier otherwise, and we could have avoided many arguments. However, you can work on yourself, and maybe you can start from here. 

Practice Saying No

No is self-sufficient. You should not feel compelled to say anything beyond it if you feel so. Of course, it is difficult to utter that word out loud, especially with the harsh connotation attached to it. Sometimes, this is exactly what you need to sound assertive and set boundaries. 

In a professional setting, you can evaluate the situation and follow it up with a short clarification. It will get the message across and let the person know that it is not an acceptable request because you do not have the time or the resources at the moment. The reason could be anything but it will set the right boundaries without seeming curt or impolite.

Be Assertive

The key to maintaining healthy boundaries is being assertive. If you feel that saying no is rude, you can firmly demand your space. If you do not like someone talking too close to you, simply tell them. You can let them know that it seems intimidating or you feel stuffy or whatever the reason is. This is an effective way of communicating and letting the other person know that what you mean is non-negotiable.  

Move Towards Self-Awareness

Boundaries are all about acknowledging your feelings and getting a better understanding of your emotions. You need to figure out the triggers and what questions make you uncomfortable. You are the one to decide what is “too personal” for you, and this can be traced back to your emotions. So ask yourself questions, and as you find their answers, you will get better at dealing with other people. 

Prioritize Self Care 

Put yourself first. Others will find a way to take care of themselves. Self-care is about understanding what is important to you and attending to it before the other things. If you feel that you cannot go out so often with your friend, let her know. You do not have to feel guilty because you are prioritizing your mental health.  

Get Assistance or Support 

If you have trouble setting boundaries, maybe you can take the assistance of a coach. The answer to this behavior is within you. With the help of a professional coach, you will be able to figure out why you feel the need to become a ‘Rescuer’ if it makes you feel like a ‘Victim’ later. With improved awareness about this, you will be more careful the next time someone asks you for a favor. 

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Reach out to Kamelia Allow, an ICF Certified Business Coach, via email [email protected] or visit www.kameliaallow.com to book your free discovery session with Kamelia.