Set Real Goals. Stop Writing Lists.

Goal setting – it’s such a nice activity, isn’t it? It makes us feel so productive like we’ve really accomplished something.

You know how it goes - you make a list of all the things you want to accomplish and then you make another list of action items, and then you put weekly reminders on your calendar (apply for 10 jobs!), and then those calendar reminders get ignored or x-ed out when they pop up.

Poof, the goals become just another list, a sticky note that gets crushed under your keyboard.

Let's try a different approach: Make fewer goals that have more meaning.    

Before you start goal setting, consider one thing: there’s a commitment to reaching your goals and then there’s a commitment to the commitment. The real work of goals isn’t setting them, or even starting them (because that can be exciting).

The real work is about sticking with the journey when it looks like nothing is happening, trusting the process, and staying motivated.

That’s the commitment that must happen before you even make your goal list.  

How do you do it?

By making meaningful goals that have a direct impact on your quality of life and cultivating a deep understanding of why those goals are so important to you.

Here are three questions to answer to set up your meaningful goals. While the questions are straightforward, it may take you some time to answer them (and if it does, you're doing it right).

QUESTION 1: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO MAKE HAPPEN?

Essentially, this is the question that helps you define your goal. Answering this specific question shifts your mindset from just having a goal to taking ownership of that goal.

Words create reality.

If you frame your goal in this way, it becomes yours. And, when you own something, you are more likely to nurture it.

You’re committed. 

QUESTION 2: WHY IS THIS GOAL IMPORTANT TO YOU?

We can set goals for ourselves based on the ‘shoulds’ of life. I should go after a promotion because I’ve been here for so long. I should get married because I’m at that age now…I should, I should, I should.

Anytime we feel like we have to do something, it’s a fight to do it.

Going after a new job because you want a bigger title is a completely different motivation than if you pursue it because it will give you the autonomy you need to thrive. One is driven by outside factors and the other is rooted in your core values.

Change that is internally motivated is easier to commit to.

So, when answering this question, be as deeply honest as you can be, otherwise, you’ll just end up with another list.

QUESTION 3: WHAT WILL CHANGE ABOUT YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE WHEN YOU ACHIEVE THIS GOAL?

This is the visioning, future-look part of the exercise. To see yourself achieving your goals creates a positive emotional response – one that has the energy to push you forward. 

Visioning is a powerful way to embed a goal within yourself and make it a part of what you do every day. When you see how your life could transform, your commitment is fortified.

If your goal is to land new clients, how will that change your quality of life? What will be different about how you talk about your work when you get them?

We attach ourselves to things that feel good, so it makes sense that if your future self feels amazing about work, you will do whatever it takes to get to that future state.

Ultimately, setting goals is useful if it’s done usefully. If you just get satisfaction out of making lists, then keep on keepin’ on.

But if you really want to get somewhere new, make a concentrated effort to set your goals in a meaningful way, and see what incredible changes you can create when your commitment comes from the heart instead of your head.