Serving Mission over Ego

"There are no permanent enemies and there are no permanent friends."

I was in an advocacy training when I heard that statement and it has stuck with me. It has proven true over time.

What it boils down to is looking for opportunities for aligned goals in a specific situation and with a specific person or entity. As they say, "Even a broken clock is right twice a day." If one looks hard enough, one will find something to agree upon, even with an "enemy", without compromising validity, one's values, or one's mission.

There have been many times I’ve reported to someone who had a very different world view than I did. But I got my job done by finding those areas of alignment. As someone who often channels my passion for change into advocacy, admittedly, there are times it has been challenging to stay strategic and rational. At other times, as someone with a rigorous science background, it has been incredibly painful to not point out something that is just plain wrong or not valid.

Finding that alignment does mean taking a step outside of one's perspective, seeing it from another's viewpoint. That's uncomfortable. It means being able to question one's own perspective as inherently right. One cannot always stay planted, immobile, and pull someone across the line. That is especially true if one lacks power. Sometimes, one has to cross the line, line up alongside someone, see what where that other person wants to go. Sometimes, rarely, when lined up with someone, it is possible to turn him or her around with oneself. At very least, maybe both people can pivot slightly to focus on a shared goal. When one lines up with an "enemy", the view may not be that different, after all.

It is unfortunate that today’s political discourse -- which often informs our policy discussions -- has devolved into personal attacks rather than to focus on substantive debate on the issues. This is true on both sides of the aisle. We no longer have just “enemies” -- in terms of someone on the opposite side of the table, line, or aisle -- but villains (who are all bad/evil). In psychology this is called “splitting” and is a sign of pathology or failure to develop mature thinking. It wastes tremendous opportunity to solve important problems in a way that works in real life.

The question is, what is one serving: ego or mission? When serving ego, one accumulates a list of grievances against people or remembers specific situations that did not work out. Emotions and energy are invested in the personal. Focusing on ego and petty interpersonal issues, however, is inefficient and takes away from the mission. When serving mission, one has an emotional commitment to a broader vision. Achieving any transformative change is always bigger than any one individual. One has to apply one's attention or energy to look for those opportunities for alignment and create unexpected allies.

Is that being “opportunistic” (like, say, an opportunistic infection that turns normal flora into a potentially life threatening illness)? No, compromise or seeking alignment opportunities need not threaten the values underlying one's mission, as long as the parameters by which one makes deals or accepts compromise remain within one's ethical framework. For instance, the difference between normal flora and an infection is a shift from symbiosis with the host to harm to the host. When compromising, it is important to assess for harm.

Simply put, if it is a matter of my agreeing with the broken clock at the time it is actually right, I see no harm in that.

In fact, as long as one stays goal-oriented to a clear mission and set of overarching values, that commitment will be seen and respected. One can develop a reputation as someone who can work with everyone and get things done. Staying open to that opportunity makes one more effective at achieving goals that serve the broader mission.