Serve But Not Compete

Leadership is all about influence. To influence, the best strategy is what the philosopher Lao-tzu taught us 2500 years ago: serve but not compete. What does that mean?

To serve is to listen, act and deliver results, drive and produce impact, and focus on improving people and organizations.?

Not-compete is not to fight for fame and fortune but to show vulnerability. The reason we compete is from our ego. Ego is our inner enemy. Ego can be a demanding machine that will never be satisfied. It pushes us to seek more money, status, prestige, and meet insatiable desire. It is a never-ending loop, bringing stress and anxiety. Instead, suppose we keep the ego in check, speak less, suspend self-interest, and treat fame, fortune, victory, and promotion as a by-product, and serve others without expectation. In that case, we end up being more effective, happier, and receiving more.?

Could serving but not competing be taken advantage of by others, resulting in self-sacrifice? No, because it will not sustain in that way.? Lao-tzu also provided a solution for us: “Serve the needs of others, and all your own needs will be fulfilled. Through selfless action, fulfillment is realized.” Ah-ha, you do not serve others meaninglessly. The more selfless you are, the more fulfillment you receive.

How do we serve others for our own fulfillment? Adam Grant has a very similar theory in his book: give and take. In an organization, takers and matchers end up in the middle, surprisingly, while givers are either top or low-level performers. If you only consider others, you will burn out and end up being a low performer.?

How do we give effectively? Effective givers allocate time to give freely. If it is a 5-minute favor, just give; otherwise,? effective givers meet others’ needs instead of wants. To serve, we still lead strong, not weak. More importantly, we will make a long-term goal a priority, schedule it on our calendar and make time for it. Givers use “powerless communication” to earn influence without dominance and ask thoughtful questions. Speak softly, soften your tone, strengthen your actions.?

By giving effectively, leaders build networks, encourage collaboration, and nurture talents. Successful leaders also have ambitions, but they have a different way of pursuing their goals. The more they give, the more they realize. This sounds like a paradox: by being selfless, a leader is enhanced. Leaders drive their own success by serving others.

Serve but not compete is to give strategically, lead beyond ego, think big picture and long-term. This is the way to sustain so that you can continue serving.

If you know at the end you will reach your own fulfillment by serving others without competing,? will you still fight for everything? Do you want to be in the middle with takers and matchers??

Challenge yourself to be an enlightened leader, to serve, to give.