The Serial Complainer at Work - Time To Do Something?

WE have all worked with them at some stage in our careers.

You know the ones – the constant complainers who like nothing better than to whine and moan about anything and everything at work!

Well, thankfully, help is at hand for dealing with these people.

Generally, the answer is to not just accept or go along with what they are saying, as that can simply make it worse.

Indeed, as Forbes magazine contributor and leadership expert Chrissy Scivicque maintains in her recent article, most of these complainers are only looking for acknowledgement - so the answer is not to play their game.

With this in mind, Scivicque puts forward some helpful pointers on how to avoid being caught up in their negativity:

1. Avoid mindless agreement

As mentioned, this is just what they are looking for. Indeed, many psychologists believe the main focus of a serial complainer is to seek validation. Unfortunately, agreement can often appear the best option, as it can help ‘defuse’ what they are saying so you can more easily move on to something else. However, there is a danger to this as by ‘mindlessly agreeing’ to something negative that may have been said about a colleague or task, for example, you also open yourself up to the risk of becoming an ‘ally’ with this person. This can mean they go on to mention to others that you ‘agree’ with them - and that is definitely notsomething you want

2. Hear it and acknowledge it

The next step with serial complainers is to hear what they say and rather than agreeing with it, just acknowledge it. You could say something like ‘wow’ or ‘really’ or ‘interesting’. Obviously this response does not signify agreement - but more acknowledgement. Also, by doing this, you are one step closer to lessening a serial complainer’s hold over you with their constant barrage of negativity and pessimism

3. Disagree with them

This step becomes necessary when someone is constantly using you as a ‘sounding board’ for attacking someone at work, or ‘badmouthing’ people in general. You can only put up with this sort of negativity for a short while before you need to take a stand. In such cases, you need to take a firm, no-nonsense approach and answer the complainer by saying: “Do you want my opinion?” When they answer ‘yes’, you then say: “I hear what you’re saying but I see it differently.” This is disagreement without being disagreeable and is a great coping tactic, as it usually forces the complainer to go on to find some other victim.

As a leader, dealing with serial complainers can be a constant battle as they are pretty much a ‘fact of life’ in some organisations.

However, by having the tools to deal with them, many leaders no longer need to waste so much of their time putting out the ‘spot fires’ these serial pests create.

Another good way to help reduce a serial complainer’s effectiveness is to engage with them quickly and constructively before they can do too much damage.

And by providing the person with some insight into the destructive nature of their constant complaining in the working environment you also highlight the problems they are causing: encouraging them to desist.

Another good way is to tie their destructive behaviour to the impact it has on worker performance and morale around the office.

Lastly, if you draw attention to the damage their behaviour is causing their own career, this may well be enough to get them to change their ways: thus helping them go from a serial complainer to a productive and constructive team member.