September Mighty Motivation Newsletter

In one of my follow up sessions with my client a couple of weeks ago, she described a time when she felt like she had been carrying a backpack of rocks on her back, like a heavy burden that was zapping her motivation and confidence to move forward.

I know this feeling well, having been there too - when we know that we have so much potential within us and we want so badly to move from the lost mojo feeling, but perhaps we have been through a very challenging time in our life.

For my client it had been burnout.

The overriding feeling she described was that feeling of 'not enoughness'.

A nagging sensation of not measuring up.

Perhaps other influences can blow the wind from our sails and can act like a persistent anchor, holding us back from taking the steps needed to move forward positively.

Others have described it to be like trying to climb a steep hill, but you're carrying a backpack filled with self-doubt, self-criticism, and the belief that EVERYTHING is wrong with you.

So it is no wonder you struggle to find the motivation to take that next step. It's as if the hill suddenly becomes steeper, the path more daunting.

When we don't feel 'enough,' our self-esteem takes a hit.?

We begin to question our abilities, our worthiness, and our potential for success. This internal turmoil creates a mental and emotional roadblock that kills our enthusiasm and confidence.?

Paralysis sets in.

We second-guess ourselves, hesitate to seize opportunities, and often settle for less than we truly desire.

So, it's not just about a lack of motivation; it's about the emotional toll that the 'not enough' mindset exacts.?

It erodes our self-belief and robs us of the courage to move forward boldly.?

But, there is a silver lining!

Self awareness is the first step to breaking free from its grip.?

By addressing our feelings of 'not enoughness' head-on and nurturing our self-worth, we can get rid of that backpack and rediscover the motivation and confidence needed to find our true self again.

Here are some common factors and experiences in a person's life that might cause individuals to develop this belief, some of which you may recognise….:

• Childhood experiences - Negative experiences during childhood, such as bullying, criticism, or neglect, can shape one's self-esteem and contribute to feelings of not being "enough."

• Social comparison - People often compare themselves to others, especially in the age of social media, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy if they perceive others as more successful, attractive, or accomplished.

• Trauma -? Experiencing traumatic events, disabilities, illnesses or abusive relationships can erode self-esteem and self-worth, leading to feelings of not being deserving or valuable.

• Peer pressure -? Peer pressure to conform to certain behaviours or lifestyles can lead individuals to feel inadequate if they don't fit in or meet these expectations.

• Unfulfilled goals -? failing to achieve personal or professional goals can lead to a sense of underachievement and self-doubt.

• Major life changes - major changes like divorce, job loss, death and grief, or retirement, can disrupt one's sense of identity and purpose, leading to feelings of not being "enough."

Recognising that these feelings are common and that many people experience them at some point in their lives is important for us all.? You are not alone and it isn’t your fault.

Overcoming these feelings often involves self-awareness, self-compassion, therapy, therapeutic coaching and / or counselling, and personal growth.

It's a process of challenging negative beliefs and developing a healthier and more positive self-concept.

When I experienced a challenging life situation back in 2017, a traumatic relationship split, I felt not enough.

And it did feel like a bag of rocks, wading through treacle. I was rock bottom “not enough”.??

Something inside me then went on a mission to find the methods, tools and strategies to unravel that “not enough” feeling, transform myself and then help others do the same.

Here are some of my insights, from experience, I know can help address the feelings of not being "enough":

• Self awareness - It all starts with self awareness and understanding that the feeling of not being "enough" often stems from comparing yourself to others or unrealistic standards.?
• Recognising when these thoughts arise and challenging their validity is the start of your journey.

• Mindfulness and meditation - when I started practicing mindfulness techniques and meditation, I was literally rewiring my brain.? By staying in the present, you can reduce the negative self-talk. Mindfulness can help you detach from harmful thought patterns and focus on the here and now.
• Gratitude - regularly reflecting on the things you're grateful for in your life literally shifts your focus and can help counter feelings of inadequacy

• Self compassion and journaling - treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would offer to a friend. Acknowledge your imperfections and mistakes without harsh self-criticism.? I wrote an e-book to make it easy for when you are not sure what to write about, see the bottom of this article.
• Create a vision for your future - when you don’t know where you are heading it creates a sense of unease. Create a vision for your future in the form of a vision board and realise meaningful goals and celebrate your progress and accomplishments along the way.
• Visualise your future - spend time every day visualising the life that you dream of like a film - these can be short 17 second visualisations
• Positive affirmations - I love and use positive affirmations daily to reframe my self-perception, I wrote a book to refer to, see below.?
• Reminders - write down your strengths, accomplishments, and inherent worthiness as well as great feedback you have had in the past.

• Try and limit social comparison -? be careful about spending time comparing yourself to others on social media or in real life. Remember that what people portray on the surface may not reflect their true experiences.

• Focus on personal growth - invest in activities and experiences that nurture your personal growth and fulfillment. Learn new skills and pursue your passions you have realised when you created your vision. Invest in a coach, listen to podcasts, watch You-Tube videos

• Ask for help and support - talk to a trusted friend, family member, or a professional practitioner about your feelings. Sharing your struggles with someone you trust can provide valuable insights and emotional support.

Remember that addressing the feeling of not being "enough" is an ongoing process, a journey.

There is no overnight fix.? Self-compassion and effort to change these deeply ingrained thought patterns.?

Finally, remember that your unique qualities and extraordinary gifts are the keys to unlocking your true potential.?

I hope this gives you some ideas for igniting your spark that will change your life for the better and be your guide to greatness.

Lara?

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?I guide you on a journey to break free from the grip of self-doubt, nagging fears and not-enoughness.

?I guide you to design a life you are truly excited to live, with balance, purpose and passion.

?I guide you to rewrite your story and I champion your progress and hold you accountable.

?? Message me to find out how you can design a life you love.

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Read my book “The Mighty Book of Motivation Magic”

Read my book “The Little Book of Affirmations”

Read my book “The Little Book of Journal Prompts”