"September is another January for us women".

This is for working parents everywhere, and the partners / family they live with.

I'm on Holly Tucker MBE's mailing list and every Friday receive a refreshing and inspiring email from her. Except in August as she takes that time to refresh, wind down, spend time with family.

Today's email was blindingly accurate and a reminder of the years that I used to (family grown up now) enter September exhausted (and with a lot less money in the bank than before the holidays). But I was ready and willing to embark on a heavy schedule of events running up to Christmas.

Here's what Holly says, which I've unashamedly pasted from her email as I couldn't find it online to share.

MYTH BUSTING

The response to last week’s email was humbling and joyful as I write from the heart, and it seems, we’re all on a very similar journey. What hit home the most, was this idea that September is another January for us women. Kids back to school, trying to return to normality and a moment to think about our (bloody) selves. What was as consistent as the thumbs up for the ‘fresh start’ was the guilt and hard time you gave yourselves for not doing enough. For the weight put on, the fitness routine neglected, the businesses not paid enough attention — the list went on and on.?

The thing is, us women are literally an unbelievable species when you think of what we set ourselves up to accomplish and then, actually how much we actually do achieve. It’s a highly unhelpful myth that we can ‘have it all’; it sets us up for failure each time. I believe we should dream big — enormously — if the truth be told, but we then need to be realistic whilst organised in our plan to get there. We need to be flexible, not linear. Messy and not neat, but as long as you head in the right direction (most of the time) you’ll ‘win’. Because why the hell shouldn’t you put on a few pounds (or heaven forbid a stone) over the summer? Will you work to take it off, yes. Did you enjoy your two breakfasts on holiday — yes! Helping the kids finish off what’s left on their plate — yes! That’s the type of living that’s worth living. Same when it comes to the habits we wanted to adopt, or the work we wanted to get ahead with. The fact it’s still on your mind and you’ve not just brushed it under the table — means it will get done, just not then.?

How I feel good about what I don’t get to, is knowing that I have a noose around my North Star. I’ve done the hard work to get to a place where I know what I want to be written on my gravestone and what I want to achieve in my life. I know more now about who I am, than at any other point in my life and I wholeheartedly believe my life has seen ‘nothing yet’. That the best is certainly yet to happen. So knowing what I’ll say “no” to now, where my limitations lie, what I can’t bear (or tolerate) and what type of people do nothing for my mental health, means each step I take, is by design, travelling in the right direction. It’s now led to a world where I give myself a stern and stiff talking to, if I come down too hard on myself.?

I’m doing my best, you’re doing your best and that’s more than ‘good enough’. It’s fucking excellent.?

From Holly's Desk Notes Friday email - Holly Tucker MBE

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Photo by Benjamin Manley on Unsplash